~ Cute Vamprie Jokes ~
{Keep scrolling down for more}
Q: What do Vampires
do when they want peace and harmony?
A: Fang Shui ;)
Q: What do you get when
you cross a Vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite ;)
I made up the first one. The second one came out of a Christmas
cracker. A good one at last!
Here
are some more I discovered upon my travels...
A: What do you get if you cross Count Dracula with the Abominable Snowman?
A: *Severe* frostbite
Q: What did the vampire doctor say?
A: Necks, please!
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with an Egyptian mummy?
A: Something interesting to unwrap!
Q: What happened to the vampire with bad breath?
A: His dentist told him to gargoyle twice a day
Q: What job does Dracula have with the Transylvanian cricket team?
A: He looks after the bats
First person: Did you know you can get fur from a vampire
Second person: What kind of fur?
First person: As fur away as possible! ...
{Poor vampire...;}
Q: Why do traditional vampires hate computers and cell phones?
A: They hate anything that’s new-fangled
Q: How do vampires wash themselves?
A: in a blood bath!
Q: What do you call a group of vampires?
A: A fang club
Q: Why did the vampire bars gertmarried?
A: because they were heels over heads in love
Q: What do the police call it when they watch a vampire’s crypt?
A: A stake out...
Q: Where did Dracula open his bank account?
A: At a blood bank, of course!
Q: What will a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: Stake
Q: Who do vampires invite to their birthday parties?
A: Anyone they can dig up
Q: Why did Dracula advertise for a housekeeper?
A: He wanted some new blood in the house...
Q: Who is the world’s spookiest superhero?
A: Vampire batman!
Q: Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
A: Because he’s a pain in the neck!
Q: What do vampires drink?
A: De-coffinated coffee!
Q: What did the vampire say to the dentist when he broke his teeth?
A: Fangs for the memory...
Patron: Why are you throwing garlic out of the window?
Hotel manager: To keep
vampires away
Patron: But there aren’t any vampires here
Hotel manager: See, it works!
Q: Why didn’t the vampire laugh at the joke about the wooden stake?
A: He didn’t see the point
Q: Why are vampires better?
A: Because blood is thicker than water!
Q: Why do vampires never invite trolls to their dinner parties?
A: Because they can’t stand all that goblin
Q: What did the vampire go to the pharmacy?
A: He needed something to help stop his coffin
Q: Who do vampires invite to their weddings?
A: All their blood relatives...
Q: How do vampires show affection?
A: They bat their eyelids
Q: Why did the vampire go to the bicycle shop?
A: He needed some spooks for his wheels
Q: What do you call Dracula when he dressed up in women’s clothing?
A: Count Drag-cula!
Q: Why do vampires have steady nerves?
A: They’re as ghoul as cucumbers!
Q: Why didn’t Count Dracula write his own book?
A: He wanted a ghost writer!
Q: What is a vampire’s favourite animal?
A: A giraffe
Q: What pets does Dracula have?
A: A blood hound and a ghoul-fish
Q: Where do vampires swim?
A: In the Dead Sea
Q: How do vampires begin letters?
A: Tomb It May Concern....
Q: Why are vampires good at treating people with coughs?
A: Because they can clear your throat in seconds!
Q: Why do vampires go back to the same places every year on
vacation?
A: Because they like their old haunts best
Q: Why do vampire football teams have to practice so hard when they
play against zombies?
A: Because they’re facing such stiff competition!
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