Hey There, Hi there, Ho There!
And Welcome to My World.
My World. My Rules.
Keep your hands & feet inside the vehicle at all times, secure all unsecured items, including loose change ... Oh, except the coin you're gonna give Charon.
And now, for your In-Ferry entertainment, this ancient and timeless script now preserved for your enjoyment as you go to Hades ... ;)
Enjoy the ride, Mortals.
{Disclaimers Below}
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As the CEO (Chief Execution Officer) of the UNNi (UNderworld Network Interactive), which Underworld do you speak for? There are many. Speak! My husband is losing his patience.
Yours,
~ Persephone ~
PS: I have free passes to our humble Realm to give away to four lucky winners. They include a detailed tour of our Underworld and a delicious complimentary pomegranate. Trust me these are to DIE for. Just present your passes to Charon on the banks of the Styx and he'll ferry you across the River of Death. Don't drink the water.
*Fine Print ... Passes one way only*
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UNDERWORLD NETWORK INTERACTIVE ...
Hot trend ... Flaming hair catches on ... Blow-dryers blown out ... Butane wigs wigged out ... See Hades' head for details ......
UNDERWORLD E-MAIL ETIQUETTE: IF IT'S NOT A FLAME, DON'T BOTHER SENDING IT!!!! ......
River Styx overflows ... 'Waters of Forgetfulness' flood Underworld ... Lost souls now condemned AND confused ... No idea how they got here ... Demons delight in teasing dearly departed ... More news later, if we remember ...... Hostile takeover consultants spotted in Underworld ... Titanic developments afoot ... Stay tuned ... or see 'Hercules,' now playing in theaters everywhere!" (On video now)
~ UNDERWORLD (UNNi) ~
More top Underworld celebrities perished this week while going about their monstrous business. The cause? The hideously handsome, good-natured troublemaker Hercules, whose blatantly anti-Hades activities continue unchecked.
UNNi asks that every cold-blooded demon and monster join the struggle against this notorious half-man, half-god. Help keep the Underworld safe for monsters of all shapes and sizes!
UNDERWORLD (UNNi) -- This season's hottest look just keeps getting hotter! Hades' flamin’ hair, formerly a luxury only the Ruler of the Underworld could afford, has been spotted on fashion-forward fiends throughout the Dark Kingdom. Caution must be used, however -- not every demon can sustain a hot head like Hades can. Insufficient fuel and improper preparation may lead to permanent disfigurement and Pain -- not to mention Panic! UNNi advises all demons to steer clear of this style. It's just too hot to handle!
UNDERWORLD (UNNi) -- After eons of preparation, Hades, hot-to-trot, Lord of the Dead, has finally freed the Titans! Regular UNNi viewers will recall that it was only a zillion years ago that Zeus, Mr. I-Hung-the-Moon himself, threw the mighty Titans into eternal imprisonment. Well, Zeus, looks like that prison wasn't quite eternal enough! Stay tuned, "Godfather," for some news that's sure to rock your world!
UNDERWORLD (UNNi) -- Today, more than 5,000 died-hard Hades fans burned out for the freeing of the Titans. According to one one-eyed eyewitness, "It was some of the worst violence in history! My sisters and I just hope to see it continue. Hey, Clotho! It's my turn to use the eye! Give it here, you hag!" In an exclusive interview, the Titans told UNNi: "Crush Zeus!"
Well, all UNNi can say to that is, "Them's Titan words!"
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Disclaimers: This incredibly hilarious script originally appeared on Disney's Official Home page. I did not write it and lay no claim to it. I did write the intro and Persephone's letter and put in the pix and background. This particular script, as far as I am aware has been now taken down, unfortunately :( Good thing I saved it form eternal cyber-danmation ;) Too damned funny to lose! >:D *Damn straight!" Hades says.
I put it here only for the chuckles, laughs, tears of amusement, guffaws and desk thumping hilarity. In other words - for the fans, you guys!
Dunno about you fellas, but I'm so joinin' Hades' Campaign!
"I knew I could count on you, Tannie, Babe! Gimme a Hi 5!"
Always, Hadie :)
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