Disclaimer: Transformers are the property of Hasbro.

Summary: Soundwave lives through trying times after the transformation of Megatron into Galvatron.

Author’s note: This story takes place after the post Movie episodes.

Rating PG

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SOUNDWAVE'S SONG

It constantly haunted him, gnawed at him, but there was nothing he felt he could do. He did not have the power to change the past, alter history, to correct his mistake. He felt like a coward. On the inside, he was an emotional wreck, wanting to lash out, scream and cry; on the outside he remained impassive and calm, and those around him knew nothing of his tormented soul.

He loathed Galvatron with a passion and it disgusted him to think that this raving lunatic had once been his most trusted and closest friend. He smiled when he thought of Starscream's ghost haunting and scaring the shit, as he humans said, out of Galvatron - yes, he found that very amusing indeed, and now Starscream was alive, he'd intelligently decided to stay away - even he preferred Megatron! Soundwave once heard a group of humans describe Galvatron as a 'f***wit,' and by their tone, surmised that was an insult. But unfortunately, he mused, he was a f***wit with a big gun.

To him Galvatron was most definitely not Megatron. It hurt him even more to think that Megatron's consciousness may be trapped somewhere inside. Soundwave kept no records of his feelings toward Galvatron or Megatron, in case they were discovered and used against him. He'd cursed himself again and again, but of course, that changed nothing, apart from fuelling his self loathing and bitterness for the action he didn't take.

He'd lost count of the many times his mind had played back the events aboard Astrotrain, three Earth years ago, which ultimately lead to Megatron's death - or the death of Megatron as everyone knew him. Three years were very little as far as a Transformer's life went, but to Soundwave, the past three seemed like an eternity, a living hell.

He'd had his regrets in his life, but all paled in comparison to this. He'd cursed Starscream for what he had done - he'd cursed the other Decepticons aboard Astrotrain for voting 'survival of the fittest,' and he'd cursed Astrotrain for not being strong enough to make it to Cybertron with everyone aboard, but most of all, he cursed himself for 'going with the flow.' He'd lost count of how many times he wished he'd stopped Starscream, or spoken out against him, and why he stood back and did nothing while Starscream threw Megatron's helpless, wounded body out of the shuttle - but he did know why - he'd felt afraid - scared that the other Decepticons would have opposed, even hurt him and his Cassettes. He knew he wasn't one of the most popular Decepticons, and Megatron could no longer protect him. It was up to him to protect Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, Ravage and Buzzsaw, because no one else would, and the few Decepticons who would have shown sympathy, were either wounded or as scared to say their piece as he was. Starscream, of course showed no sympathy whatsoever. Soundwave had never liked him, and had not been surprised at his doings. Actually, he'd fully expected Starscream to take advantage of Megatron's weakened state - he always did, taking every opportunity to replace him as Decepticon Leader. Soundwave had planned to help Megatron, but found when the time came, he could not, but as much as he hated Starscream for what the jet had done, he found he hated himself more. Then the Decepticons had argued about who should assume the responsibility of leadership. Typically Starscream leapt at the opportunity. Soundwave nominated himself, not from ego, or because he thought he was most suitable for the role, but felt he owed Megatron. He knew Megatron better than anyone and knew what his friend wanted for the Decepticons, but how could he lead when the other Decepticons wouldn't listen to him? He did enjoy talking down to the Constructicons, but that hadn't helped him gain the upper hand. Devastator, although large and powerful knew nothing about true leadership. Soundwave was grateful when Rumble and Frenzy stood up for him. It made him feel wanted - at least he had some friends, although he didn't feel he deserved any.

The Decepticons continued to squabble amongst themselves. Of course, the jet had bullied them into making him their new Leader. A while later in the journey, Starscream had come to him.

"What's the matter, Soundwave? Miss Megatron?"

Soundwave had fully expected Starscream to torment him, but said nothing.

"Ohh," Starscream said, feigning sympathy, "He wasn't in any fit condition to lead anyway."

Soundwave was fully aware that Starscream was fully aware that Megatron could have been repaired, and so said nothing about it, and turned to the jet. "Megatron is our true leader. You can never replace him."

"Ohh, but I have, and don't you forget it. I am your leader now. Say it."

Soundwave remained silent.

"Say it!" Starscream aimed his null ray in Soundwave's face.

Soundwave felt like wringing the jet's neck, but he'd never lost control in front of others and wasn't about to start now.

"Leader," he said, //my eject button!//

"Why thank you," the jet smirked, sauntering off.

Soundwave glared after him. It was only a matter of time before the he and the other Decepticons realised he couldn't lead for leaking lubricant. Soundwave remained eternally grateful no one could read his thoughts. Internally he refused to accept anyone but Megatron as the Leader of the Decepticons, but there was nothing he could do to help him. If he left Astrotrain, Starscream would know what he was up to in an instant. He felt useless, hopeless and hoped Megatron would forgive him, if he survived ...

Of course, Starscream made a big fuss and spared no expense at his 'coronation,' but Soundwave hadn't expected him to be humble. He'd been mildly amused at Starscream blasting the coronation trumpets, always impatient, but his amusement hadn't even lasted a second. Soundwave still hated Starscream for what he had done and thought he always would.

At first he had been grateful when Starscream's Coronation had been mysteriously interrupted. The new Decepticon piqued everyone's curiosity, except Starscream, enraged at his Coronation being gate crashed. Although curious, Soundwave took an instant dislike to this newcomer and even though he was furious with Starscream, winced when Galvatron disintegrated him with a single blast, even felt pity for him, as he heard the jet's painful final screams. Soundwave had felt Starscream deserved to be punished, albeit not quite so harshly. The Decepticons followed Galvatron without question, from that moment on, afraid of meeting the same brutal execution as Starscream. Reluctantly, Soundwave too followed Galvatron. He hated to admit he was afraid of the larger Decepticon and never dared question him or verbalise his dislikes.

It became increasingly clear to the Decepticons that their new Leader was stark raving mad, but again, no one said a word - not to his face anyway. Soundwave's dislike for Galvatron grew into an absolute loathing. He hated to take orders from him, hated to look at him and hated his annoying voice. The Decepticons scrounged for energy, squabbled amongst themselves and fought each other on numerous occasions. It wasn't like this with Megatron, sure there was the occasional internal fight, but never like this. Galvatron simply did not care for his troops, not even Cyclonus who to Soundwave, seemed to care about Galvatron. Soundwave silently refused to accept Galvatron as his leader, but was extremely careful not to let his dislike show, but he had always hid his feelings and did not find it difficult.

Soundwave's guilt would not simply go away. He doubted it ever would and it worsened every day. The past few months had become increasingly difficult for him. He'd lost could of how many times he'd considered committing suicide and on a few occasions, almost went through with it. He'd considered starvation, bleeding himself to death, but those were repairable. Soundwave had even considered to cease to be useful, as Galvatron considered him important to the Decepticon cause. But Galvatron had him repaired, thinking it was a malfunction. Soundwave wanted to tell Galvatron to leave him be, but could not let his 'leader' know his inner turmoil. Galvatron had praised Soundwave on numerous occasions, however if he knew what Soundwave really thought of him, he was sure he'd shoot him in the head - and being killed by Galvatron - Soundwave considered that insulting.

Soundwave thought of a simple, quick and almost painless way - it would only take a leap into the molten metal silo. At one time, he'd come very close to ending his own life. He'd stood on the edge of the silo, and looked down into the scorching liquid metal - but what would his death accomplish? It would not bring Megatron back. His soul would still feel the burden of his guilt - how could he set things right?

"Soundwave?"

Soundwave almost lost his balance, then regained it.

"What are you doing?" Rumble sounded concerned.

"...Observing..." Soundwave lied.

"Oh ... Phew... for a moment there, you looked as though you were about to jump..."

//I almost did.// "Do not be ... foolish, Rumble." Soundwave's voice wasn't angry.

"Sorry ... Uh, Galvatron wants you. He couldn't reach you on your communicator."

Soundwave regarded the molten pool. //He can go jump in there...// "Thank you, Rumble," he said, his words meaning much more than they sounded.

Rumble had reminded him, the Cassettes needed him. They were his friends, his children. They cared for and respected him just as he cared for them. Soundwave also came to another conclusion of why he had failed to kill himself. He didn't believe he had - what was that human saying? ... Yes, he didn't believe he had the guts. //Just like I did not have the guts to stand up for and save Megatron.//

He also admonished himself for his selfishness. If he committed suicide, who would look after the Cassettes? He silently returned to base camp with Rumble, unaware two Autobots were watching him.

"Primus ...." Blaster whispered. "I don't believe it. He w's gonna jump... I just know it."

"How do y' know?" Jazz asked, puzzled.

"I've never seen him so upset before. He may be able to hide it from others, but not from me. Kinda makes me feel sorry for him..."

"I guess. What do y' think's eatin' him?"

"Dunno. He was good friends with Megatron. Maybe that's it."

"Maybe. C'mon let's report to base."

"Okay, but keep it quiet about this. I may not like Soundwave, but he deserves his privacy."

"Gotcha."

Soundwave was well out of ear shot and had not heard the two Autobots.

"Where've you been?" Galvatron snapped.

"Apologies, my communicator is damaged. I will repair it."

"Do that, and I wanted you to repair the main communications device. It's gone on the blink too."

"Yes, Galvatron..." //Lazy clunking droid. Do it yourself./

The guilt within Soundwave continued to grow. He was desperate not to let it hamper his performance, lest the other Decepticons discover. They'd ridicule him, embarrass him and Galvatron wouldn't be too happy either, and of course none of the other Decepticons would care. He knew the Cassettes would, but he just didn't know how to tell them. Right now he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and knew if he didn't escape at least for a while, he would suffer a complete systems collapse.

Previously, on Earth, he had discovered a quaint little quiet, remote spot, behind an enormous mountain, on top of a large rock formation, hidden by trees and shrubs. Soundwave felt at peace here, more than anywhere else. The place had a calming effect on him. It didn't take away the guilt, but helped himself to feel more at peace. At least he had a few hours to himself, which was more than he'd had in the past few months.

He planned to visit his secret spot, and drank an energon cube, energising himself, not realising how hungry he was. The last thing he wanted was to have to return due to lack of energy. He left to visit his spot once more, making sure no one followed him. Again, he switched off his communicator. He had no desire to be disturbed.

Soundwave flew as high as he could, using the clouds for cover to avoid being seen or detected. It was a 'beautiful day' as the humans said, not too hot or cold, no rain and the sun shone. He landed in his desired spot and made sure no one was around, bar some native Earth animals, but they were always here and Soundwave had found their presence rather comforting. He sat down on a flat rock and thought. He appreciated Earth's natural surroundings more than he had done in the past - they were so different from his home planet Cybertron. Earth had different colours, textures, night and day and Earth's nature was organic. Soundwave rested his elbow on his leg and his chin on his fist and enjoyed the time alone, despite his underlying guilt. In a way, he wanted it to go away but he knew he needed it. It was his punishment for letting down his best and only friend. How would Megatron feel? How would he feel if Megatron had abandoned him? Soundwave didn't want to think about it, but couldn't make himself thing about anything else.

//I know you feel betrayed, Megatron... he thought, and an apology is not nearly enough, but again, I'm so truly sorry...//

Soundwave's attention snapped up when he heard a rustle in the bushes and twigs snap. From experience, the noise did not correspond with any of the wildlife in this region. He slowly, and cautiously stood, so as not to make a sound and walked around a rock formation and saw a human female settling down, on a flat rock. Soundwave felt irritated, as he didn't want anyone around him, but bore no malevolence toward the human. He watched as she took a beige bag off her shoulder, reached inside, pulled out a cloth, which she unwrapped, revealing some coloured Earth crystals and gemstones, which she set upon on the large sandstone rock where she sat. She slowly waved her hand over them as Soundwave continued to watch her, curious. He took a small step forward, accidentally rustling the bushes and became angry with himself for being so careless. The human turned her head and her reaction surprised him. She turned to him, still sitting and smiled at him. "It's lovely out here, even in the rain."

Soundwave, still quite baffled by the human's reaction, looked at her. "Why did you not-"

"Run away when I saw you?"

"Affirmative," Soundwave replied.

"I'd say you've been watching me for a while. If you wanted to kill me you'd have done it by now."

Soundwave felt an immediate respect for this human. He'd never given them too much thought, and hadn't thought they were capable of such profound logic, but also did not blame them for being afraid of Decepticons.

"I see you've discovered the magic of this place too," she said. "Do you come here often?"

"I discovered it whilst flying overhead. Sometimes, I come here." Soundwave did not want to give away too much.

The human smiled. "My name's Isis, and you're Soundwave right?"

The Decepticon nodded, for a spilt second wondering how she knew his name, but then the Decepticons hadn't exactly stayed out of the limelight since arriving on this planet. "Yes," he replied.

"Sit with me," Isis said, her voice non commanding.

Soundwave felt quite surprised, and also hesitating.

"Come on," Isis said with a smile. "I don't bite."

Soundwave smiled inwardly as he tried to picture the ludicrousness of the human trying to bite him.

"You aren't afraid of me," he stated.

"No," Isis said. "I sense you mean no harm to me and if you suddenly decide to hurt me, well there isn't much I can do about it, now is there now?" and she smiled. "Come on, now, don't be shy."

Again, her words surprised him, and Soundwave stepped over the bushes and sat down next to her, both letting their legs dangle from the rock.

Isis shifted her crystals and arranged them again. "Their energies assist with meditation."

"You come here often," Soundwave observed.

Isis nodded. "Yes. It's lovely and peaceful and there's something special about this place."

"Agreed," Soundwave said, part of him feeling uncomfortable at the human's presence, the other part, reassured, grateful and even wanted to talk to her.

"You don't talk much," Isis observed.

"At times words are unnecessary."

Isis nodded, smiled and looked at him. "It's all right," she said, "but you have to come to terms with your guilt and what's bothering you." She looked away.

Soundwave looked down at her in surprise. "What ... guilt..."

Isis looked back at him. "I can tell," she said. "I've always been able to - that's why I became a healer."

Soundwave looked at her with interest.

"Don't worry," Isis said, "I can't read minds."

//It's almost as if she can ...//

"You're a very private person, aren't you?"

"Yes," Soundwave said. "It s essential."

"I can imagine the other Decepticons wouldn't be too understanding."

"Correct."

"Isn't there anyone you can talk to?"

"...There ...was," Soundwave said after a pause.

"And he's gone?"

The Decepticon nodded. "There are five others whom I consider friends, the Decepticon Cassettes ... but it is not the same. I cannot talk to them the way I could with Megatr-" Soundwave broke off.

"Megatron was your friend."

To Soundwave's surprise, Isis did not seem surprised or shocked in the least.

"Perhaps you find it hard to understand," he said, "how one could be friends with someone who wished to conquer your world."

"There are many who would find it strange, even impossible and wrong, but everyone is different and it seems to me you and Megatron shared something very special."

Soundwave nodded. "We did."

"You must forgive me," Isis said, "wars of any kind have always horrified and disgusted me and I stayed well out of yours. What happened to Megatron?"

"He was destroyed ... changed ... and-"

"You feel responsible."

Soundwave marvelled at the human's insight. "Yes," he said, although he had a feeling Isis could already sense that. "There were other factors, but it is easy to lay blame on others."

"Soundwave, torturing yourself over it isn't going to help."

Her gentle, mature voice had a soothing effect.

"I betrayed him - when I should have helped him."

"You did betray him or feel that you did? - There's a difference."

"Yes, there is, although sometimes it's hard to differentiate between the two."

Isis nodded. "Do you feel you could have helped him?"

"Looking back, there must have been something I could have done."

"But back then, you felt there was nothing."

"Yes," Soundwave replied. "They would have killed me too, and I had to protect the Cassettes."

"It must be very hard for you without Megatron."

Soundwave nodded, inwardly amazed at the human's insight, and somewhat embarrassed that he appeared so transparent to her. He'd always been scrupulously careful to hide his feelings and he had done so for so long, it came naturally, but by the same token, he felt grateful that someone could see through him, whom understood and cared.

"I do not have the power to turn back time or alter history," Soundwave said, "and wishing for the impossible is illogical and-"

"Soundwave, many hopes and dreams are impossible and illogical, but those dreams and hopes are what keeps us going - and they have ways of coming true."

Soundwave wanted to cry, but wouldn't let himself.

"Logic isn't always the best comforter, but there has to be a balance."

The Decepticon nodded.

"How long had you and Megatron been friends?"

"Over nine million years," Soundwave replied, feeling relaying the time to the exact current second was unnecessary.

"Whoo ... that is a long time. No wonder you're hurting. I have lost dear friends in my lifetime - I know what it feels like. A human's life span is a lot shorter than a Transformers', but it still hurts - a lot."

"How did you overcome your loss?" Soundwave asked.

"You never forget them," Isis replied. "And you miss them. I miss my mother, father, and my dear friend Christopher, and you never forget what they meant to you, or the joy they brought you or what they taught you. Many people don't overcome their grief - some even kill themselves. I don't believe that death's the end of everything. I don't know if you believe in a heaven, or the spiritual plane, Soundwave, but I believe people exist on this physical plane for a time of learning, then enter the spiritual plane, free from physical limitations."

Intrigued, Soundwave listened.

"Every person and animal has a soul," Isis continued, "and when we die on the physical plane, I believe the soul has a choice to come here again for more learning or to stay on the spiritual plane, which is more like the astral plane. Even though when someone you love and care for dies in the physical world, you're very sad, you miss them terribly and feel empty, but deep down, you know they're never really gone."

There was a pause.

"Thank you," Soundwave said, his voice sincere.

Isis smiled. "It's my pleasure. So many people in this world are suffering. It's such a shame... and it's always wonderful to help someone."

"Like you have helped me."

Isis smiled again and looked up at Soundwave. "I must admit, you're the first Transformer I have spoken to, and Soundwave, never feel bad about yourself. Megatron wouldn't want that. He'd hate to see you torturing yourself like this. Do you think he'd want to see you in pain?"

Soundwave shook his head. "But-"

"Here," Isis said, handing him a large clear thick shard shaped crystal, small compared to Soundwave. "Quartz clears the mind and harmonises your energies. And here," she handed him a layered green gemstone, "malachite has a strong calming influence and helps with stress and eases pains of the heart."

"They're beautiful," Soundwave said, examining the stones in his nave blue hand, then he handed them back to her. "Are you sure-"

"Keep them," Isis said with a warm smile, placing her hands on his. "They'll help you and I can always get some more."

"Much appreciated," Soundwave said, sincere. He took Isis' small hand in his. "Thank you for everything. It may not bring Megatron back, but it makes it a lot easier to deal with."

Isis put her hand on top of Soundwave's. "It's my pleasure," she said, equally sincere.

"It's also lovely here in Winter," Soundwave said. "The snow makes it very beautiful."

"I often look out from my house, beyond those trees in the distance, but cold doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Negative."

"I wish I could stay here in the winter, but I'm afraid I'd freeze!"

Soundwave smiled as a cool breeze drifted past them.

"I must go," he said after a while. "Unfortunately, private time is scarce and Galvatron is ... impatient."

"Polite word for him."

"...It has been a pleasure meeting you, Isis."

"And you as well."

"I am sorry I have nothing to give you in return," Soundwave said, his voice apologetic.

Isis smiled and shook her head gently. "Giving is more than just the physical. And you have given me something - I'll always cherish the feelings we've shared today and your gratitude."

"As will I."

A pleasant silence followed, but it spoke volumes. Soundwave ever so gently squeezed Isis' hand and she smiled.

"As mush as I'd like you to stay, you have to go. I don't want Galvatron to go ballistic."

Soundwave didn't want to spoil this moment by thinking about that insane fool. "Although I must, I do not wish to leave either."

"I know how you feel, Soundwave, but remember, you must never lose hope or faith in yourself."

Soundwave smiled warmly. "I will not. You have helped me in more ways than you will ever know."

Isis smiled. "I think I do."

The Decepticon stood.

"I'll see you again sometime," she said with a kind smile. Isis gathered her crystals in the cloth, tied it up and placed them into her hemp bag, then looked up at Soundwave, smiled and headed down the rocks. Soundwave prepared to take off, then heard a noise, followed by a yelp and a gasp. He immediately flew down, just in time to catch Isis as she fell.

"Ohh..." she gasped, sighing with relief. "I hate that step.... Thank you..."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, thanks to you." Isis sat on his hand. "The last time I slipped I sprained an ankle and had to crawl home - took forever, believe me it wasn't fun."

"I can imagine. You are not injured?" Soundwave asked, clearly concerned.

"No. A little jostled, but I'm okay. Thanks again, Soundwave."

"It is my pleasure. Would you like me to take you home?"

"Really, it's all right, thanks. If you're any later, Galvatron really will go ballistic."

"He can go to hell."

Isis laughed. "All right, thanks again." She guided Soundwave to her secluded home amongst the trees. It didn't take him long at all.

"It seems nice and quiet here, though I can hear the traffic on the road across the hill."

"You have got good ears! It is lovely here, and when I want to, I can play my music loud - no neighbours to complain. Hey, I meant to give you this." She dug into her bag and gave him a cassette tape with a picture of a beautiful short-haired woman on the cover. It was marked Enya ~ Watermark. "I think you'll love her music."

Soundwave smiled. "You have given me so much." He felt as if an immense weight had been lifted from him. He lowered his hand and Isis jumped off.

"It's my pleasure. Thanks again, Soundwave, and you're always welcome here if you need me."

"I am the one who should thank you - for everything. I am eternally grateful and sorry I must leave."

"Goodbye, Soundwave and take care. I have a feeling I'll see you again sometime."

"I look forward to it. Farewell, my friend."

He placed the crystals and tape into his chest compartment and closed it. Isis watched him take off into the afternoon sky and watched until her new friend was out of sight. The human smiled and retreated into her study to record this special moment on her computer.

Soundwave arrived back at the Decepticon base.

No sooner had he landed and walked two feet, ..."Soundwave! Where in the Universe have you been?!"

At least when Megatron had asked him that question it had been always out of concern, maybe curiosity and it had never bothered him. Most of the time he'd tell Megatron even before he left, but when Galvatron barked it at him like an angry dog, it irritated him immensely. "Off duty," he replied evenly.

"I tried to radio you."

"I switched my communicator off. I ... required solitude."

"It may have been an emergency." Galvatron sounded edgy.

"I am sure you would have assigned another."

"And just where were you today?"

Soundwave knew Galvatron was now just being his annoying nosey, pushy self, and this time Soundwave did not hold back what he wanted to say.

"It is not your affair," he snapped, fully expecting Galvatron may blast him any second.

"I don't like your tone, Soundwave," Galvatron said, his voice dangerously low.

Soundwave refused to feel afraid. He'd absolutely had it with Galvatron. He turned to face his 'leader' just as Galvatron placed a hand, roughly onto his shoulder. Soundwave turned and looked at him, unfazed.

Galvatron, for some reason started to feel uncomfortable under Soundwave's gaze, but did not let it show.

"Very well, Soundwave, but your duty as a Decepticon comes before leisure."

"Yes, Galvatron, and to perform that duty to the best of my ability, I need time for solitude." Soundwave cautiously kept any traces of anger and disrespect from his voice and it surprised him how difficult he found it this time.

Galvatron grunted. "Very well. Are you quite relaxed now?"

Soundwave noted the sarcasm in the other's voice, but chose to ignore it. "Affirmative, thank you."

"Oh gooood. I want you to monitor Autobot activity in the Southern Hemisphere."

"An Autobot party is stationed in Sydney, Australia," Soundwave said.

"I know that already. They're up to something."

"I apologize, Galvatron, but I have more urgent prior engagements. If I do not correct the computer program I am working on to detect Autobots, it will deteriorate. Skywarp is capable. He can handle the mission."

Galvatron nodded. "Very well."

What Soundwave had just said was what the humans call bullshit, except for the part about having more urgent matters to attend to - he needed some more time alone, and Skywarp being capable. Soundwave had been impressed how the young black and purple jet had matured since the Transformers had arrived on Earth. He hoped Galvatron bought his lie. Soundwave's detection program had already been completed. How else would the Decepticons know of Autobot activity in Australia? Soundwave turned to leave when he felt Galvatron's hand on his shoulder. The tape deck froze - had Galvatron seen through his lies? Soundwave tried his best to hide any trace of fear and prepared for punishment.

"Are you all right, Soundwave?" Galvatron asked. "You ... look troubled."

Now this, Soundwave wasn't prepared for, but replied instantly. "No. I am fine."

"Are you sure? You look ... upset about something."

To Soundwave's utter surprise, Galvatron sounded genuinely concerned, which made him feel a glimmer of respect for him.

"Thank you, but I am all right, Galvatron." Another lie, but Soundwave could never being himself to talk to the other, even if he was the slightest part Megatron. He could never tell another how he felt. Isis had been an exception.

"All right," Galvatron said. "Call Cyclonus if you need anything."

"Affirmative," Soundwave replied, still feeling quite surprised, and a tad guilty he had lied, but needed some time to himself. He began to walk to his quarters.

"Hey, Soundwave, where've ya been?" Rumble came to him with Frenzy. "We kinda got worried when we couldn't contact ya."

Soundwave smiled. It felt good to be missed. He felt something against his inner shin and looked down to see Ravage winding his way around and rubbing against his legs.

"We'll help you finish that 'Bot detection thingy."

"I completed the program the previous night," Soundwave admitted. "I lied, because I require solitude."

"Hey, Soundie, y' all right?"

Soundwave smiled at Rumble's pet name, grateful he only used it when they were alone or in the presence of the other Cassettes. "Yes, Rumble," he said, "I am fine."

"Don't lie to me, man, I've known ya too long."

"Yeah," Frenzy added.

"Galvatron's gotten into your winders again, hasn't he?"

Soundwave sighed inwardly. Sometimes Rumble and the cassettes seemed to know just what was troubling him. Suddenly, he heard a noise and froze, hoping to Primus it wasn't Galvatron.

"Don't worry, it's only me," came a deep voice. "Won't bother to hide since you know I'm here."

"Thundercracker."

The blue and white jet stepped out. "Sorry. Didn't mean to eaves drop. I wanted to thank you for what you said about Skywarp."

Soundwave nodded. "I believe he is more than capable. He has matured a lot."

"Thanks. I never thought I'd say that to you."

"Never say never."

Thundercracker smiled and lowered his voice. "And don't worry. I won't breathe a peep to Galvers."

"Much appreciated."

"Between us, he's what the humans call a nut case."

"Agreed."

"Thanks again, Soundwave, now go get your solitude, Primus knows we all need some."

"Thank you," Soundwave said, his opinion of Thundercracker becoming more positive. He watched the light blue and white jet leave and wondered if in time they could become friends, but even if they did, Soundwave knew no one would or could ever replace Megatron.

He much preferred his old larger quarters in Decepticon Undersea Headquarters. Actually, he missed that whole place. He'd grown accustomed to it, and found he quite enjoyed watching the aquatic formations and Earth sea life come and go past the view windows, but Galvatron did not wish the Decepticons to be stationed there, claiming he found the place 'stuffy' and unfit to launch assaults from. Soundwave and many other Decepticons did not agree, but he was grateful Galvatron had left the base unharmed.

Soundwave had often gone down there. It brought back memories of Megatron, which Soundwave had cherished, but with those memories, came the pain.

At least in this headquarters he had his own quarters. He couldn't bear it if he had to share with others. He valued his privacy. He retreated to his quarters and opened his chest compartment and placed the quartz and malachite gems in a secret storage compartment within his wall with an in built light which shone on the gems. Soundwave smiled and closed the compartment. He transformed into his tape recorder mode and played the Enya tape, grateful for the sound dampeners in the walls. It was indeed beautiful music, and Soundwave appreciated Isis's thoughts. She seemed to know him so well. After the tape finished, Soundwave ejected it and placed it in the compartment with the gems, planning to listen to it again and enquire about other tapes by the same artist. He ordered his lights dimmer and laid on his resting ledge, making himself comfortable, and thought about his Cassette friends and reminisced about his good times with Megatron, feeling grateful for the peace and quiet, in his underground quarters. If it wasn't for the quiet times he had to himself, he would find life unbearable. He found himself forgiving Astrotrain, and the other Decepticons, even Starscream, which he had found very difficult and felt as if another weight had been lifted from him. Soundwave tried to be happy, and was frustrated with himself when he wasn't. To liven himself, he'd even turned on some human comedy programs on his computer monitor, some absolutely pathetic, and some quite good. Although impressed with the clever humour of Black Adder, and the amusing 3rd Rock From the Sun, Soundwave still did not feel happy, deep inside.

"Dammit!" he cursed, "why can't you feel good?"

He laid on his resting ledge, then turned around, closed his eyes, then turned around again and again.

"Can't sleep?"

Soundwave jerked and then if he had not seen this with his own optics, he would not have believed it. Megatron appeared before him, his form translucent.

"No, friend, you're not dreaming."

"Megatron ... but-"

The elder Decepticon smiled. "I realise this is something of a surprise." There was a pause. "I've watched you, Soundwave, and hated to see you torture yourself. I don't blame you for what happened."

"You do not? But-"

"What could you have done? Seems to me everyone had gone mad. I saw the look in your eyes - you wanted to help, but you couldn't. I had no idea it's caused you this much pain and turmoil. I have been given ... permission to speak with you."

Soundwave looked at Megatron's glowing form. "Permission?"

"From Primus."

"When Unicron ... changed me into ... Galvatron," Megatron almost spat the name, "he not only changed my body, but my mind as well. I had no desire to continue like that. Fortunately my soul was the one thing that planet eating bastard had no control over."

"...I had always wondered Galvatron was any part of you, if you were trapped inside him somehow."

"No, thank Primus. He does possess a lot of my memories and knowledge, but nothing more. He's doing his best, I suppose. I often wished Unicron would have just simply revitalised me."

"You and I are not the only ones."

Megatron smiled. "Thanks, Soundwave, it feels good to be wanted. Now, stop torturing yourself and making things worse for you. Ahh, look at me, I'm getting sentimental...."

Soundwave smiled behind his face plate. A tear found its way out and rolled down his cheek. "As am I. Thank you, Megatron. I could not have survived without your assistance."

"Oh, come on, Soundwave. Don't put yourself down. You must believe in yourself - hey, that's an order." Megatron smiled. "Talk to Isis is you need further guidance. Quite an exceptional human."

"You saw us?"

Megatron nodded.

"Megatron."

The true Decepticon Leader looked up.

"Just a moment, please."

"Granted," came Primus' deep, gentle and understanding voice.

Megatron looked at Soundwave. "Promise me you'll look after yourself - and don't worry about me either. You think I'm gonna stay like this forever?" He smiled. "Everything'll work out, I promise."

Soundwave smiled and trusted his friend more than anyone could. "I know that now. Thank you, Megatron."

"The pleasure is mine, but I must leave you now."

"Farewell, my friend."

Megatron's form disappeared, leaving glitter like sparks lingering for a few more seconds.

Soundwave lay back down on his bed, as happy, relaxed and as free as any being could be. He stood up, and played a tape full of Human music he liked, some new age, meditating, whale song, and some quite vibey, and transferred some Enya songs to it. He danced and sang to some of the songs on his tape, grateful no other being, well besides Primus ... and perhaps Megatron could see or hear him. Soundwave then burst out laughing when he envisioned Megatron's ghost, or spirit appearing in front of Galvatron - probably scare him more than Starscream's had! but most of all, Soundwave was grateful Megatron had not been angry or hurt and had not blamed him, just as Isis had told him.

Soundwave's tape finished, and he laid on his resting ledge, closed his eyes and caught up on hours of much needed rest.

The door chime sounded. Soundwave sat up on his resting ledge. He had woken earlier, but had not desired to get up.

"Enter," he said, a tad annoyed at being disturbed.

The door slid open to reveal Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak and Buzzsaw. Soundwave's irritation vanished, happy to see his small friends. They entered, the door sliding shut behind them.

"Soundwave..." Rumble said, a little timid, "we know you said you wanted to be alone, but you seemed to be ... upset and we ... uh, came to see if you were okay ... I mean do you need anything, or-"

Soundwave smiled. "No, Rumble. I am fine - now." He felt he could not keep it from his Cassette friend any longer. "For a long while now, I had been upset about what had happened to Megatron."

"We know."

Soundwave looked astonished. "What? But how-"

Rumble smiled. "You haven't really been yourself ever since that day aboard Astrotrain. It was really obvious, to us anyway - come on, with all we've been through ... We figured you'd tell us about it if you wanted to."

"You have known all this time..."

"Yeah," Frenzy said. "We didn't say nothin' 'cos we figured you'd be upset."

Ravage jumped onto Soundwave's lap and Laserbeak perched on his shoulder, whilst Buzzsaw flew around the room. Soundwave placed his hand on Ravage's head, and shook his own, marvelling at his young friends' insights. He told them about Megatron's appearance, for which the Cassettes were both amazed and grateful he'd had told them.

"I feel a little foolish. It is all so clear to me now."

"Come on, Soundie, no one's perfect."

Laserbeak and Buzzsaw squawked.

"Yeah, and we're all glad you're okay now." Frenzy said.

Rumble and Frenzy felt uncomfortable. Expressing sentiments weren't exactly their strong points, but wanted and needed Soundwave to know how they felt.

"Thank you all," Soundwave said, grateful to be with his little friends, all of whom he considered his children and grateful he had finally told them what he'd wanted to for so many years. //Thank you, Isis.//

* * *

Isis lay awake in her bed, in the dark, wee hours of the morning and looked up at the full moon.

"It's my pleasure, Soundwave," she smiled, sensing his gratitude, guilt free happiness and love.

She smiled and laid her head on her soft pillow and finally fell asleep.

//Thank you. //

She heard the voice in her sleep, and knew it was not Soundwave, but Megatron.

* * *

Soundwave left his quarters with the Cassettes and flew with them to the special spot where he had met Isis, the previous afternoon. So much had happened in the past hours and Soundwave was amazed that nearly two thousand days of guilt and torture could mercifully end in such a short time.

He saw an outside light on in the distance and hoped Isis was getting a good night's rest.

The six Decepticons sat in the moonlight, played games, frolicked and shared time with each other - time which they had mot shared in a long while. Soundwave smiled and listened to the subtle sound of the crickets in the nearby grass. He looked up at the bright white moon and the twinkling stars, happy to be with his friends, grateful his soul was free.

*

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