Disclaimers: Transformers are owned by Hasbro.

I make no monetary profit from my fanfic/fanart.

Summary: Swapping places with Megatron

Author's notes: Equus is Latin for "Horse." Equus loves her horses & Biggles of course! ;) One of my code names at school was “Megan” – this was when the earth germ teachers wanted us to stop writing Transformers stories, letters reading the Tf comics … Boring humans … Now minus the “tro” from Megatron, and wala! It’s transformed to Megan ;) … And they never found out either!! LOL!! ;) GODS!! Writing this story was FUN!!!!! >:D

Rating - PG - Humour

~~~~~~~

SWAPPING PLACES

I was sitting in the lounge room at home, doing my Transformers cross stitch when the phone rang. I grunted angrily. I hate the phone ringing when I'm busy. I snatched up the receiver, hoping the call wouldn't be long.

"Hello?" I said.

"Acknowledged --" came the voice over the phone. "Are you Megan?"

"Yeah."

"Ohhh good ..." The voice sounded relieved.

"Who is this?"

"Never mind that," said the voice. "You have to help me." Then the voice sounded hesitant, as if he found the next words hard to say. "I really ... need you."

"Who is this?" I asked.

"Megan ..." said the voice. "Do you want to swap places with a Transformer."

"What?!"

He repeated his question.

"Of course I would swap with a Transformer if I could! Who the smeg is this?! Candid phone camera?"

"Negative, but thank you." The voice sounded relieved.

I slammed down the receiver. "Shithead." I hate it when people get use you like that. It would be great to swap with a Transformers. I'd always wanted to be a Transformer and I hoped this wasn't some stupid prank. I turned to exit the room to finish my Transformers cross stitch. There was a blinding flash of light - next thing I knew I was lying on the ground in the middle of a battle with the Transformers. I could not believe it. I was a Transformer -- Optimus Prime pointed his laser rifle in my face. I wondered why. He was kind, caring and compassionate. Why was he doing this?

"Where are the plans?" he demanded, harshly.

"Uh ... uh ... what plans?"

"You know what plans."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Megatron ..."

I looked at myself ... And the appropriate phrase rhymes with clucking bell. I realised now, that Megatron had been the one on the phone. And no wonder he needed my help. Optimus was about to blast his face off - my face off!

"I don't know where the plans are."

"You do know," insisted Optimus Prime, pointing his laser rifle in my face.

I really didn't want my face blasted off. "They're at Decepticon headquarters, Prime ..." I said worriedly, hoping that's where they were. I didn't know what I was going to do if they weren't. Twilight Zone music played in my head. Optimus Prime took my ... Megatron's fusion cannon off my arm and tied my wrists together with an energon band, then flew with me to Decepticon headquarters.

"Get the plans," he demanded.

"How do you expect me to find anything with my hands tied up?"

Optimus unlocked the energon band around my wrists. I knew he didn't trust me. Well ... he could trust me, because I love him, but I ... was ... Megatron ... sort of. I felt weird being Megatron. I was so much bigger, stronger ... I looked at myself. My figure was different. I felt thinner than I did before ... and well ... very, very different ...

"What are you doing?" asked Optimus Prime.

"Looking for the plans" I replied.

"On yourself?"

I began looking in Megatron's office, through all his compartments, sifting through disks and papers on his desk, feeling rather like an intruder. Finally I came to something which looked like some kind of plans.

"Are these the plans you want, Optimus?" I asked, handing them to him.

"Yes," he replied,

Phew ... I thought.

Optimus looked at me strangely, probably wondering why 'Megatron' was being so co-operative. He grabbed my hands.

"What are you doing?!"

I liked it when I talked. I sounded exactly like Megatron, and

it just felt different from talking normally.

"Taking you back to Autobot headquarters as a prisoner until

our operation is complete. You can't be trusted."

"Great." I tried to struggle away, but then realised that I better go along with him.

Optimus locked me in a prison cell in Autobot headquarters and locked the door. The cell was okay, as far as prison cells go I suppose. I sat down on the floor. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I did feel a little scared, but at the same time, amazed. I suddenly thought I hadn't transformed. I tried it. I transformed into Megatron's Walther P-38 gun mode. It truly felt amazing. I transformed over and over again. Optimus Prime then came into the cell.

"What on Cybertron are you doing?" he asked puzzled.

I stopped transforming.

"Uh ..." I said, thinking quickly of something to say, "There's a glitch in my transformation process ... It's gone now ..."

Optimus Prime went out of the cell. I saw the numbers he used to lock the door - 42638539. In a way, I wanted to escape and in a way I didn't. I wanted to tell Optimus Prime who I really was, but he wouldn't believe me. When he was out of sight, I entered the number into the lock and opened the door. I wondered how I could escape without setting Teletraan I's alarm off. I then remembered what Megatron did in the Transformers book 'Megatron's escape.' I managed to get outside without been seen or detected. I secretly took back Megatron's fusion cannon.

"What a good book" I said, smiling.

As I was returning to Decepticon headquarters, I was re-captured by Optimus Prime.

"Damn ..." I cursed.

I was feeling rather hungry. I wondered when or if the Autobots were going to give me anything to eat. I couldn't exactly ask Optimus Prime for chocolate bars and chips, could I? A few minutes later, I saw two energon cubes come down a shaft. I walked over to them, picked one up and looked at it. The pink glow of the energy looked beautiful. The cube felt warm. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Optimus Prime looking at me at the top window of the cell, probably wondering why I was staring at the energon cube. I drank the cube it. It was nothing like food. It was a great experience. The energy feels warm in your mouth with a unique taste, unlike any food. It's not sweet or sour. It doesn't taste like anything I've ever tasted before. It tasted beautiful. When you swallow the energy, it sends a beautiful, unique feeling down your body. It's was gentle and warm. It was a wonderful experience.

One night, I heard an explosion and door to my cell was blown off. I gasped. Ramjet and Dirge came in.

"Mighty Megatron," said Dirge. "We've come on Soundwave's orders to rescue you. Let's go now before the Autobots get us."

"Thanks. Please, just call me Megatron."

Dirge looked at me, puzzled way. We escaped to Decepticon

headquarters. I hoped the Autobots didn't capture me again. I was scared that they might hurt me, because I was 'Megatron.' I put Megatron's fusion cannon back onto my arm. [Well, it's my fusion cannon as long as I'm Megatron!]

I wanted to use it, but I didn't want to hurt anyone.

When we returned, Starscream pointed his null-ray rifle at my face. "Say hello to the new Decepticon leader, Megatron ..." With so many weapons pointing at his face, no wonder Megatron wanted to get away from it all. I wondered what he was doing as me. He was probably in my room in my house. I hoped he didn't destroy any of my Autobot Transformer things. I then stood up.

"I'm gonna destroy you, Megatron ..." said Starscream

evilly. "Now --"

"Not now, Starscream," I said. "I'm tired. Some other time perhaps."

Starscream stared at me as I left.

I entered Megatron's private quarters and began looking through his files. There was a lot of information on all the Decepticons. Even more than the 'Transformers Universe,' a in-depth guide, of Transformer profiles, abilities and weaknesses. I learned a lot more and was very excited. I read about every single Decepticon and went then into Megatron's computer file. I wanted to read Megatron's file. It wasn't printed. I tried to get it up on computer.

-- ACCESS DENIED --

I then found Megatron's secret code and typed it in. I read

his file. It was quite interesting. I learned a lot more about him. No wonder it was -- ACCESS DENIED! --

I did like Megatron and felt glad about helping him, but I felt weird being scared of Optimus Prime. Normally I wouldn't be frightened of him. He would never harm a human, but since I was 'Megatron' ... Anyone would be scared with Optimus Prime's laser rifle pointed in their face. Even if Optimus Prime did hurt me, or even kill me, I would still love him, and I couldn't really blame him either.

* * *

Megatron was in Megan's house, in her room. He began looking

through her Transformer draw and looked at a picture of Optimus Prime.

"I hate you, Optimus Prime ..." he snarled.

He was about to tear the picture up.

"No" he said. "This is Megan's picture and she helped me."

He reluctantly placed the picture back in the draw. He began reading Megan's Transformer books and the stories she'd written.

"She's an excellent writer," he commented.

Megatron retreated to Megan's room, and found her private diary and read it. He began to understand how Megan felt about loving Transformers, but it didn't make him like Autobots any better. After he'd read every single story, Megan had written and her dairy, he was starting to feel hungry.

"I don't suppose there's any energon in the fridge ... "

He looked to see what was in the fridge, pulled out a half opened tin of "Snappy Tom" and began to eat it.

"Revolting!" he exclaimed spitting it out in disgust. "What is this substance?!"

Megan's cat, Macavity came into the kitchen.

"What's the cat's name again? ..." asked Megatron to himself. "Ravage? ... Here puss... puss ... "

Macavity started meowing and rubbing against Megatron's legs.

"You want this?" he asked.

Macavity meowed again.

"I analyse that as a yes."

He put the can down. Macavity started to eat it.

"Blecchh ... How could you eat that?"

Megatron went into the fridge and ate some chicken and brown stuff labelled 'chocolate,' which he rather liked.

He also read books on how to use an oven. He cooked some food, then went into Megan's room again and saw she had some Transformer videos.

"The return of Optimus Prime ... No thanks ..."

He sat down and watched some other episodes.

The next night, Megan's mother came home.

"Who are you?!" exclaimed Megatron.

"Your mother, unless my daughter has changed."

Changed all right ...

"I'm starving. Can you get me some energon ... Uh ... food?"

"I'll start the dinner after Brideshead revisited."

Megatron went to the kitchen table. He swapped the Optimus Prime place mat with the Megatron one. Megan's mother made the dinner and set the table. Megatron began eating it with his fingers.

"Eat with your knife and fork!" said Megan's mother angrily.

Megatron wasn't really sure how, but observed Megan's

Mother and copied.

"Megan, I'm very disappointed in you. I told you I wasn't coming home last night. I told you to wash the dishes and iron your clothes AND you were supposed to meet me in the city tonight. When I tell you to do something, I expect it done."

"I obey nobody" Megatron bellowed furiously. "-- Least of all a Human. I am Megatron -- ... Uhh ... Sorry, creator I was possessed by Megatron for a moment ..."

"You and your Transformers ... You're getting too involved with them ... "

"Transformers - Megatron in particular has extremely advanced technology and a superior brain compared to you weakling fool Earth Germ Humans ... Oops ... sorry ... possessed again ..."

Megan's mother shook her head. Megatron went into Megan's room.

"Megan ... Come and set off the table ..."

Megatron came out of Megan's room.

"What now? ..."

"Set off the table."

"Set off? You do it for once " he said.

"Don't be rude!"

Megan's Mother glared Megatron and began to put the dishes in to the sink.

Oh ... is that all ... thought Megatron, and took some crockery into the sink. "Uhh, sorry about not doing the ironing and meeting you - I forgot."

"Well remember in future and don't forget you have to meet your best friend at school tomorrow."

"Soundwave?"

"No, Equus."

"I still retain all information in my data banks. I've just got so much on my mind lately ... what with the Autobots attacking, Starscream's scheming, stealing energy sources and-"

"Will you get down to your school work and stop thinking about

Transformers for once?" asked Megan's Mother angrily.

"I meant to say I had a lot of school things to do."

"Well do them."

Megan's Mother walked away.

How does Megan put up with her creator? thought Megatron. I guess she means well ... I suppose ...

The next day, Megatron dressed in Megan's new school uniform. He felt weird in it, then He went to his Mother.'

"Flesh creature, where are my shoes?"

"Where you left them."

"And, where pray tell is that?"

"In the computer room."

Megatron wasn't quite sure where the 'computer room' was, but looked in the room next to Megan's mother's. There were two pairs of shoes.

"Flesh Creature," said Megatron. "Do I wear the black school ones or the white ones? "

"Megan stop acting like Megatron. You're not him."

You bet your transistors I am.

"You know you wear the black ones, Megan. I have to go now, bye, bye my darling little Megatron. Have a good day."

She kissed 'Megan' on her cheek.

Darling little Megatron?! ... I'll never understand these flesh creatures ...

Megatron put on the black shoes and headed off to school. He knew where it was.

"What a pain in the diodes being unable to fly ..." he complained.

Megatron arrived at the school. "Mercy School ... What a putrid name..."

He demanded the principal where his best friend was.

"Excuse me, Megan, don't speak to me like that" she said crossly.

"Earth Ger ... uh, sorry, ... Miss ... Miss, I'm just in a bad mood. Optimus Prime and the Autobots won the last battle. Do you know where my best friend is?"

The principal shrugged, looking in a weird way at Megatron.

"New uniform looks nice, Megan," she commented.

"Uh, thanks."

He walked away.

I've got to act like a Human I don't want Megan to get in trouble. After all, she helped me ... in a way.

Megatron demanded a few girls where his best friend was.

"She's not here yet," said one.

"What is her E.T.A?"

"Her what?"

"Estimated Time of Arrival." Do these Earth creatures know nothing?

"Oh," the girl said, looking weirdly at Megatron. "About eight thirty."

Megatron waited for her for about ten minutes. She came to him.

"Hi, Megatron," Equus said.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "How did you know I was Megatron?!"

She smiled. "I found your pencil case."

Megatron took it from her. It had his name on it. Megatron felt uneasy.

How could the Humans know who I am? ... Oh, yes, It's Megan's nickname. Phew. What a wonderful nickname!

"I brought the cup."

"Kup, where?!"

"The cup with you on it."

She gave Megatron the cup with the picture of him on it.

"Thank you ... This is ... cool, but they haven't drawn me right."

Equus giggled. Megatron then looked at the pencil case. He saw where Megan had written 'Megatron is cool.'

She actually likes me?! he thought.

"Do you like Megatron?" He asked Equus. "The real Megatron?"

"I don't like how he's so ruthless and merciless, but I like him because he's him."

Megatron smiled.

"Do you like Optimus Prime?" he asked

"Yeah ... He's so cool ... and so cute, but he's got wrinkles."

"Cute?! Wrinkles? ... Prime doesn't have any wrinkles."

"He does" she insisted.

"He doesn't. I battle with him ... Uh see him almost everyday. I see him quite close up sometimes and he does not have wrinkles and he is not ... Yes ... well he ... he is cute ... "

Megatron paused.

Cute?! Optimus Prime?! Cute?! Blecch ... What next?!

"I like the real Starscream too - he's gorgeous, especially when he begs Megatron for mercy!"

Megatron looked at Equus. Now I've heard everything ... But it is fun to torment him ...

"Okay ... I give in." Equus said. "O.P doesn't have wrinkles. Suppose it was just in that picture I saw. Hey ... I found your book in room thirteen."

Megatron took it from her.

"It says Optimus Prime on it. I'm not Prime."

"I know. You're Megatron, but you wrote Optimus Prime on this book."

Megatron opened the book and read what Megan had written.

"Optimus Prime has cute eyes ..." he read. "Great Cybertron!!" he exclaimed, dropping the book. I've known Optimus Prime for more than nine million years and I've never really noticed his eyes before. This girl, Megan has known him for only a few years and she notices. I wonder if she thinks my eyes are cute? ... What am I saying... as if that's important to me ... Is it?

Megatron then read Equus Megan's best friend's pencil case.

"Equus?" he said.

"What?"

Before he could say anything, Equus said, "I'll meet you in our spot."

"Which one?" asked Megatron.

"Down by the stairs. Near the office."

Megatron nodded.

"I'll be there," he said.

"Bye, bye, Mega," said Equus, going into her home room

class.

Megatron also went to home room.

"Come on, Megan" said Mr. Celt, 'her' tall home room teacher. "You'll be late."

Megatron followed him. He didn't find it hard to find Megan's locker, with -- TRANSFORMERS RULE -- written all over it. He found it easy to crack her four digit combination lock. He shoved the his bag and stuff Equus had given him into the locker and walked into the room.

The roll was marked and reading time started.

"I want you reading not talking," said Mr. Celt.

Megatron began to read a rather thick book he'd written and published himself entitled -- The Wrath of Megatron -- He'd found it at Megan's house.

"Talk about big ..." remarked Mr. Celt.

"I wrote it" said Megatron. "I mean Megatron did ..."

"Is it good?"

"Of course."

Reading time finished.

"Okay ... " said Mr. Celt, "You can go now ... Don't get lost - or into any trouble."

How could anyone get lost in this simple complex? Thought Megatron. The Dinobots have more intelligence.

The first two lessons were science and photography. Which were basically the same thing, as Megan's science class were doing photography.

These cameras are so inferior compared to Reflector Megatron grumbled.

He picked up a large, long black lens.

"This thing looks like my fusion cannon" he smiled.

"What, Megan?" Mrs. Macadoe.

"Oh, I was just saying that this looks like my ... uh Megatron's fusion cannon."

"Megan" said Mrs. Macadoe, "I hate to tell you, it's a two hundred millimetre telephoto zoom Lens."

"I knew that ..."

Megatron met Equus at recess.

"I had Drama and English," said Equus.

"Oh" said Megatron. "I had photography and photography."

Equus spoke in a childish voice. "My English teacher did get very mad at me for not doing my homework, she did. She did blast me with her foosion cannon."

"What?!" exclaimed Megatron. "The teacher's got a fusion

cannon?! I thought I was ... I mean Megatron was the only one

with a fusion cannon!"

"No ... no" smiled Equus. "I just pretending."

Megatron caught onto the child act. "The ... the zoom lens in photography did ... did... did look like my foosion cannon, it did." He felt like an idiot to speak like that, but he didn't want to alienate himself.

He and Equus went to the library.

"Quieten down, Megan," said the Librarian, "or I'll throw you out of the library. Oook."

These teachers are vicious creatures ... thought Megatron. Yeah - Try it ... and I'll throw you off this planet ...

The day progressed on. Megatron had religion.

"What is this religion?" he thought.

He went to class.

"Who is this God they speak of?" he thought. "Do all Humans believe in him - her?"

In the lesson, Megatron understood who God was believe to be. But he did not believe in God.

"How could they believe and have so much faith in something they have not physically seen or heard?"

The teacher then asked, "Megan, why do people get married?"

Megatron had to quickly think of an answer.

"Uh ... to be together ..." he said.

"Yes," said the teacher, "There is also another reason... For true love."

Megatron looked out of the window up into the sky. Marriage. Love .... Please, God - let this lesson end.

Mercifully, it did.

He found the next lesson, computers, ridiculously easy.

"Megan," said Mr. Johns, get into word processing and type a paragraph about yourself or someone you know."

Megatron wasn't sure how this system of word processing system

worked, but he watched the others get into it and copied.

He started typing his paragraph. 'My name is Megan, he typed in. I am seventeen years old and I think Optimus Prime has cute eyes...'

"No ... no ..." he said quietly, deleting it. "That's gross." He began typing -

-- I AM MEGATRON --

-- LEADER OF ALL DECEPTICONS --

... And ended with -

-- SOON ALL THE AUTOBOTS WILL BE

DESTROYED AND CONQUEST OF THE

UNIVERSE WILL BE MINE --

At lunch time, Megatron went to Megan's locker. He was starving. He found four chocolate biscuits in it, shoved them into his mouth and swallowed them all at once. Megatron then met Equus.

Suppose she's okay he thought. Quite intelligent for a Human ... I wonder how Megan is coping as me ...

The last two lessons were English and Maths. Megatron came late to English.

"Why are you late, Megan?" asked, Mrs Macdonald, the English teacher.

"Sorry ..." grumbled Megatron.

Megatron found English quite boring, then went to Maths. The teacher, Ms. Toni, explained a lot of problems and equations on the board.

This is so basic ... thought Megatron, not bothering to pay attention.

At sometime in the lesson, Ms. Toni said, "I know this is a two unit Maths in Society class, but I want to show you a four unit university maths problem that every student got incorrect."

She wrote it on the board.

"Try to work on it. It should take you the lesson. If you can't do it, just try. Don't worry if you get it wrong."

"Miss" said Megatron. "I've got the answer."

"What?! You couldn't possibly have!"

"I have."

"Where's your calculator?"

"In my head." What a stupid question.

"Megan, how could you have worked it out in such a short time?"

"Easy. It only took me two point five astroseconds."

"Well" said Ms. Toni, astonished, "will you be so kind as to give me the answer?"

"Affirmative. It's forty-two point five trillion, eighty-nine billion, five point two million, three point five thousand, one hundred and eighty five point double zero five nine in the fourth quadrant of the twenty first dimension."

"Twenty first?!!"

Ms. Toni almost fainted.

"It was a trick question " she then said. "It was supposed to be not mathematically possible ..."

"It is possible to calculate, but not by a Human."

"But then how did you ...? Doesn't matter ..."

The buzzer rang.

"Megan, how did you know the answer to the question? " asked

Ms. Toni, still amazed.

"Uhh ... I learnt it from The Transformers."

"Oh" said the teacher, surprised. "Which Transformer

in particular?"

"Megatron. He's just so excellent ... He's got the cutest

eyes ..." Megatron fought an urge to laugh hysterically.

After home room, Megatron left to walk to Megan's house. Equus

met him halfway down the street.

"You didn't wait for me."

"Oh ... I sorry, Equus," said Megatron.

Equus and Megatron went into the Book shop. Equus asked for Biggles books.

"Two came in. Biggles Of The Camel Squadron and Orchids For

Biggles."

Equus was very excited. She'd been wanting those two titles for ages.

"No new Transformer comics or books have come in yet, Megan," said the shopkeeper, Mr. Cumin to Megatron.

Megatron saw on the shelf a Transformer comic entitled -- The

Return of Megatron -- and discreetly stole it.

"Dat ... Dat ... Dat's not manners, Megatron, it's not," said Equus when they walked out of the shop.

"Who gives a shit. I want to read the return of me."

Equus giggled. "Yeah - who cares about manners?!!"

I could get to like this human, Megatron thought.

Equus caught her bus.

Megatron walked to Megan's house. He was stopped by three largish men. The largest grabbed his arm.

"Release me at once!" Megatron demanded, trying to struggle free.

"Give us all your money ... "

"-- MEGATRON TAKES ORDERS FROM NO ONE!!! HOW DARE YOU ATTACK ME?!! I WILL SOON RULE YOUR MUD BALL PLANET, TAKE ALL ITS RESOURCES AND ENSLAVE YOU ALL -- "

"You're nuts..."

He tried to grab 'her' school bag. The other two held Megatron and tried to yank 'her' school uniform off. Megatron exploded in a rage. He violently lashed out at his attackers, viciously kneeing the largest one in the groin. He recoiled in pain and shock. Megatron brutally fought off the other two, causing broken bones and a lot of blood, and it took a great effort to refrain from killing them. It might get Megan into trouble.

"Disgusting creatures," he spat at the three men, leaving them groaning on the footpath.

Megatron continued on to Megan's house.

"Megan" called someone.

Megatron turned around. "What, Flesh Creature?"

Annie looked at him in a weird way. "We're all going to McDonalds. Wanna come?"

Megatron knew McDonalds was a restaurant and realised he was absolutely starving.

"Affirmative, Earth Ger ... uh, yeah, sure."

Megatron felt uncomfortable with a group of earth girls, but said nothing. He ordered a Big Mac, Coca Cola and a large French Fries and Annie had persuaded him to get a chocolate Sundae. He sat down, ate the food, which he felt was rather revolting, though he quite liked the chocolate Sundae.

Megatron carried on walking To Megan's house.

"Do you want to play anything?" a girl asked him.

Megatron recognised her as Megan's next door neighbour, Yiz. He most definitely did not want to play, but reluctantly asked, "what ... what is there to play?"

"Do you want to play pick Transformers?"

"Pick Transformers? How do you play? I ... I forgot."

"You forgot!? I didn't think you'd forget anything to do with Transformers. It's where you get all your Transformer toys and we have turns picking which one we want. "

"Oh that ..." said Megatron. "Holy Cybertron! I remember! I was joking."

They went inside Megan's house, got all her Transformer toys and took then to the lounge room.

"Let's do scissors paper rock to see who goes first" said Yiz.

"You can go first."

"Are you sure?"

"Affirmative. Go. Now. "

Yiz picked the Megatron Walther P-38 toy.

Dammit! thought Megatron, cross. I wish I knew what that scissors paper rock thing was.

Megatron picked Soundwave. Yiz picked Optimus Prime.

The picking went on and on. Megatron picked only the

Decepticons. The last pick was out of Sunstreaker and Ironhide.

This is so boring ... thought Megatron. Not that he cared, he grabbed Ironhide roughly, then helped Yiz pack away all the Transformers.

"Megan," said Yiz. "Who's your worst Transformer? Who do you hate the most?"

"Optimus Prime. I hate him."

"What?! But you ... you love him..."

"Oh ... oh yes ... I do love him" said Megatron, almost barfing. "I was only joking. I hate Autobots ... Uhh ... I love Autobots ... I hate Mega ... NO ... I don't know ... "

How could anybody love an Autobot?

"Can you play that game of Monopoly you promised?" Yiz asked.

Megatron was glad she changed the subject, but said, "I didn't promise anything."

"You did so."

"I didn't."

"A few weeks ago. You promised to play Monopoly with me."

"Oh yeah ..." said Megatron. "Can you get someone else to play?"

"No one wants to and you promised."

How does Megan put up with this pesky flesh creature! I suppose this 'playing' has its merits ...

Megatron quickly grabbed the rule book and skimmed through it. He and Yiz were playing for quite a while. Megatron tried to cheat.

"You idiot!" Yiz snapped. "You're supposed to go to jail if you get three doubles."

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MEGATRON?!! --"

Yiz giggled which irritated Megatron and couldn't work out why, but he began to laugh too.

At the end, he won the game. He had most of the money in the bank, hotels and houses on all the streets. Yiz wasn't left with much. Of course Megatron had sneakily cheated. Yiz didn't look too happy about losing the game and packed it up. Megatron wasn't too keen on the game.

Don't humans play anything interesting?

"Do you want to play another game?" Yiz asked.

"What this time?" Megatron asked, wearily.

"Starscream and Megatron. You love to be Starscream, so you can be him - and I'll be Megatron and you can beg me for mercy!"

Megatron groaned. This has to be a curse...

* * *

A Transformers battle was raging. I tried not to get involved. Towards the end of the battle, I was shot by someone, fell on my back on the ground. I was about to stand up, when every single Autobot ran to me and pointed their weapons at me, including the larger Autobots, Defensor, Superion and the largest, Metroplex. Even at Megatron's size, I was about as large as Metroplex's pinkie.

"Do you surrender, Megatron? " asked Optimus Prime, pointing

his laser rifle at my head.

"Oh bollocks ... Give me a break! ... Yeah okay."

They took me to their headquarters. Optimus Prime took me into

another prison cell. I sat on the floor.

"Megatron the last time you surrendered to us was seven hundred thousand and fifty Vorns ago. Also, the last time you surrendered, you were screaming and yelling vile curses at me."

Luckily I read Transformer comics and know how long a Vorn is

-- Eighty-three Earth years -- That made it ... Five million, one hundred and forty one thousand, fifty years ago. I gathered from that Megatron didn't surrender often.

"Times change, Prime and like what choice did I have?

"Did you really think we were going to blast you out there?"

I could tell Optimus Prime was expecting me to yell threats at him.

"Nope - but it's a good trick."

Optimus looked surprised and puzzled.

"You're ... acting very different, Megatron. It seems like

you're not yourself. You have your fusion cannon. Why didn't you blast me?"

I took the fusion cannon off my arm and slid it across the floor to Optimus.

"I don't want to blast you. I am not Megatron."

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"Well ... no ... but ..."

Optimus pointed his laser rifle at me.

"Don't shoot ..."

"Why not? You would've shot me."

"I gave you the fusion cannon."

"You're trying to trick me."

"I'm not ... I-"

"Be quiet!"

"Fine, but please don't shoot my face off."

"Shoot your face off?" said Optimus Prime

There was a pause.

"Tell me your weakness," Optimus said.

I remembered reading "The Transformers Universe" It stated that Megatron had no known weakness. I'd read the Transformers A to Z in the English Transformers comic. It stated that Megatron had certain mental problems. I said this to Optimus.

"What mental problems?" he asked, surprised.

"I don't know! It didn't say, but it also said that Megatron can link up interdimensionally with a black hole and use its power. It makes his fusion cannon very powerful, but it also creates a tremendous strain on him."

"Tremendous drain on you, you mean. What mental problems do you have?"

"None of your business!" I snapped, angrily. "I don't know what mental problems Megatron has. Why don't you ask him?"

"I am."

"No you're not. I'm not Megatron."

I explained to Optimus Prime about swapping places with Megatron and he listened to me. That was one thing I really liked about him. He always listened. Even to his enemies.

"I still don't believe you, Megatron."

"I can prove it ... Prime ... I love you ..."

"You make me sick ... The things you do ..."

"Please believe me, Optimus ..." I said sadly.

"Okay, Megatron, what's your real name?" he asked, sarcastically.

"Megan" I said.

"Okay, Megan, " said Optimus, with sarcasm. "If you're here, where's Megatron?"

"At my house."

I gave them the address.

"Okay, Megatron," said Optimus Prime, wearily. "I'll send some Autobots there and get Megan. It'll only prove you're lying."

Megatron was sleeping in Megan's bed. He'd left the window open for the breeze.

Later that night, he saw some Autobots sneaking around.

Megatron awoke and became very uneasy.

Oh no ... they must've found out ...

Megatron quickly began uncovering the Autobot pictures on the

wall that he'd covered up. He clung onto the Soundwave bed quilt. He put the Ultra Magnus pillowcase over the Octane one, ripped off the normal night dress and put the Optimus Prime one instead. He then grabbed Megan's soft fluffy toy of Optimus Prime and put his arms around it and pretended to sleep, just as the two Autobots opened the door to Megan's room.

"Yeah ... right ... " said Sideswipe. "Like she's Megatron. Megatron sleeps in a room full of Autobot things, and his arms around Optimus Prime ..."

"Yeah" said Blue Streak, snickering. "Ooohh, but be quiet. We might wake 'Megatron' up."

Sideswipe smiled. He gently picked up Megatron.

Needless to say, Megatron was quite relieved they didn't know who he was.

Optimus Prime was still in the cell with me. "I know you're lying."

"I'm not" I insisted.

He pointed his laser rifle at my face and looked as if he was just about to shoot.

"Don't shoot!" I exclaimed, trying to get away from him.

"If you're not Megatron, Megatron, then why are you scared?"

"Because I look like him and sound like him ... Therefore you think I am him ... and I don't want my face blasted off."

Optimus Prime stood up.

"I may not 'blast your face off', Megatron, but I still don't believe you."

Optimus started to walk to the cell door. I stood up quickly.

Optimus spun around and shot me in my chest. I fell onto the

floor. He leapt on top of me. Getting shot hurt, but in a way it felt nice, since it was Optimus' laser and I love the sound his rifle makes.

"Just couldn't wait to attack me, could you, Megatron..."

"I wasn't gonna attack you ... I-"

"Shut up." He pointed his laser rifle at very close range at me again. "You would 'blow my face off' if you had the chance."

"I wouldn't, Prime, but the real Megatron would."

"YOU ARE MEGATRON!! Don't bother telling me otherwise!"

"I wouldn't blast your face. You're cute and have gorgeous eyes."

Optimus clicked his laser rifle near my face. I didn't say anything more.

Optimus Prime could tell I was frightened. What was he going to do to me? I wanted to cry in a way, but

controlled myself, but on the other hand, if I did cry, Optimus might think I'm telling the truth and so I did. Optimus looked so surprised. He loosened his grip on my arms.

"Do you believe me now? If I was Megatron, which I'm not, I would be cursing, screaming, swearing and shouting at you, and trying to fight you and I would've shot you with Megatron's fusion cannon."

"Your fusion cannon."

"Please give me a chance ..."

"Why should I?"

"Please, Prime ... I'm not acting like Megatron, am I? "

"No, Megatron, you're not."

"Please give me a chance, Optimus ... please ..."

"All right" he said, resigned, still not believing me.

"Thanks."

"He's probably blown a fuse," I heard Optimus whisper as he walked out of the cell.

Sideswipe and Blue Streak brought Megatron in.

"So you're trying to say Megan is you Megatron?" asked

Optimus sarcastically.

"He swapped places with me," I explained. "Like in the movies. Megatron telephoned me, asking if I wanted to swap places with a Transformer."

Slowly, descriptively, I told Optimus Prime what had happened. "At the time Megatron swapped with me, you were about to blast him. He must've transmitted to my telephone somehow and altered his voice."

"It all sounds well," Optimus said, "but it's still not hard

proof."

"As if Megatron would cuddle up to a soft fluffy doll of you, Optimus, and wear an Optimus Prime nightie" said Sideswipe.

Optimus tried to hide a smile.

"Teletraan," he radioed, "Please trace back to see if there was a transmission on-" he gave the computer the exact time and date.

"No conformed transmission."

"Megatron must've used a different frequency," I said.

"You did, you mean," Blue Streak said.

"I didn't. Smeg! I hate this! She is Megatron!"

It felt funny to say that and point at 'me.'

"I am not Megatron!" Megatron protested. "He is and I want to go back home!"

"You better not have torn up my Optimus pictures!" I said.

"I didn't ... I mean I would never tear up Optimus Prime pictures. I ... love Optimus." If Starscream heard me he'd die laughing ... Megatron thought.

Great ... I thought How am I gonna get out of this one ... Aha! Idea! "You're a coward," I said to Megatron.

He looked up at me. "How dare you!"

"You're a coward ..." I chanted. "Coward, coward, coward!"

This could be fun," I said. "And you are a coward. because you're too scared to face up to Optimus - that's why you swapped with me." I sat down and crossed my legs. "I guess it's sorta been fun, Megatron."

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME, HUMAN!"

"Don't blame me - you started it."

"I DID NOT START THIS NONSENSE, FLESH CREATURE ... Uhh ... and yes, this pretending to be Megatron is fun, isn't it. I'm beginning to like it."

"Yes," Optimus said, "I bet it's fun, isn't it, Megatron." He looked at the human and picked 'her' up.

"I am not Megatron, you flipped fool!" he yelled.

"Megan would never insult me."

"Are you crazy, Prime?" the 'human' said. "I am Megan and I do love you. Sorry about getting angry, but do I look like Megatron?"

"No, you don't, but Megatron doesn't look like Megan either and now the pieces are finally fitting together. How did you swap with Megan?"

Megatron didn't say anything. He knew it would be useless to

insist that he was Megan. Optimus tightened his grip on him.

"Where and what is the device?" he demanded.

"You wouldn't destroy Megan's body, Optimus."

"So you are Megatron."

"Yes! I am!"

"The device."

"It's an Atomic Reverser and it's at Decepticon headquarters. It can operate over long distances. It's grey, white and is six meters tall, six point five meters wide. Are you happy now?!"

"Yes, thank you. Nice night dress, by the way."

Megatron growled. I almost laughed.

"So you love me, do you?' Optimus asked him sarcastically. "I love you too..."

Megatron had never looked so cross.

"Stick it up your caboose."

Optimus, Megatron and I arrived at Decepticon headquarters.

"Megatron," he said," oh ... sorry - Megan, you go and get the Reverser. Where is it, Megatron?"

"In my private quarters in compartment twenty-three " he growled.

I walked into Decepticon headquarters and I saw Starscream

"Captured by the Autobots, eh? ... You are not fit to be our leader."

"Up yours, Starscream," I said sticking my middle finger up. "I have to find something."

"That some other time is now, Megatron --" He blasted at me. In order to defend myself, I blasted him, not that I wanted to - hell, I loved the guy! When I used Megatron's fusion cannon, it felt unique, different. There was a tug on my arm, which threw it upwards. I liked the sound of the cannon. I blasted near Starscream and felt the little tug again. I blasted Starscream's weapons off his arms.

"Please don't shoot!" he begged, frightened.

I loved it when he did that! It made him even cuter!

I pointed Megatron's fusion cannon at Starscream's face. He was very cute when he was frightened.

"Please, Megatron ..."

He looked absolutely gorgeous. Poor guy ...

"Please don't kill me, Megatron," he begged, terrified.

"Okay, I won't" I said calmly. "You're cute when you beg for mercy. Be cool, dude."

Starscream stared up at me. "Have you flipped out."

"Yeah, I think so."

He stood up. "I think I need a drink."

I smiled as he left! This was all so cool!

I found the Atomic Reverser and took it outside to Optimus Prime.

"What took you so long?" demanded Megatron.

"Had a run in with Starscream."

"Did you blast him? " asked Megatron.

"Yeah, only once."

"Only once?!"

"He begged me for mercy."

"AND YOU GAVE IT TO HIM??!!!!! You'll destroy my reputation!"

"Come on, Megatron ... Haven't you realised how cute he is when he's begging for mercy?"

"No! - And besides, I thought you said Optimus Prime had cute eyes."

I felt embarrassed. "They both do."

Optimus looked at me. I swear I saw him blushing. "Thanks, Megan."

I smiled, still feeling embarrassed.

"The Decepticons'll probably attack us soon" said Optimus

Prime, grabbing my wrists, pretending to capture me.

We flew to Autobot headquarters.

"How does it work, Megatron?"

"Just press the yellow button on the side and then the blue

one, five astroseconds after."

"It had better work."

Megatron looked up at Optimus Prime.

"Hey, dude, do you think I wanna stay a Earth Germ for the rest of my existence?"

Optimus did what Megatron said. The Atomic Reverser didn't quite work. I was back in my normal form, but I couldn't speak and Megatron was back in his normal form, but he was only as big as a human and looking very cross indeed. Optimus Prime grabbed him.

"I was an idiot to trust you, Megatron."

"It was the right combination."

"Then why didn't it work?"

"I don't know! And do you think I want to be six feet tall!"

Optimus Prime gave it to Ratchet to repair, but still held on to Megatron and tightened his grip.

Megatron tried to struggle free. "You want your plans back, don't you, Prime? ... I'll give them all to you ..."

"I already have them, thank you."

"What!? But ..."

"When Megan was you ... I pointed my laser rifle at her face, demanding the plans. She couldn't exactly refuse, could she? I could've hurt her."

"Sorry about that" said Megatron.

"You're not sorry. You'd rather her face blown off than yours."

Optimus tightened his grip. Megatron was even more frightened.

I hoped Optimus wouldn't kill him.

He looked at Megatron and saw how frightened and uneasy he was.

I can't kill him ... I just can't ... he thought. I know he's ruthless, cruel ... my enemy, and wouldn't hesitate to destroy me, but I just can't kill him ... It's not fair ... I can't ...

Megatron tried to hide his fear, but I could see it and felt sorry for him - he looked quite cute, mind you.

"Okay, dude," said Optimus. "I won't."

Megatron felt relieved, but at the same time, very surprised.

"Optimus," called Ratchet, coming to him, "the Atomic Reverser should work now."

The process worked fully. we were both back to normal.

"You geek!" I squealed at Megatron.

"You said you wanted to swap places with a Transformer."

"Whoo, yeah - but I didn't bargain with laser rifles threatening to blow my face off."

"I apologize, Megan," he said, sounding as if he found the words hard to say. "But you seem to have managed all right ... and I suppose it was ... interesting being human."

Both Optimus Prime and I were surprised.

"Well, apart from laser rifles pointing at my face, It was

great being a Transformer, using energon, transforming, and I

sorted out some business with the TV channel who won't air Transformers cartoons and the company that make Transformers. Oh, Megatron, by the way, if they stop putting Transformers on the T.V or stop making Transformers, pay them a visit will ya?"

Megatron smiled. "All right " he agreed.

Optimus looked surprised. He'd never seen Megatron like this before.

"School work's exceedingly simple," said Megatron. "How do you stand it?"

"Ugh. I don't."

There was a pause.

" It was great being a Transformer, Megatron" I said. "Thanks."

"I guess I should thank you too."

"I think I should leave you two alone ..." Optimus said.

I smiled at him. "Go easy on Starscream " I said to Megatron.

"Starscream?! He's a geek!"

"Maybe, but he's cute."

"Cute?!"

I smiled. Megatron did too. It was nice to see another side to him. Megatron returned to Decepticon headquarters.

"He's changed somewhat," said Optimus. "I think being human did him good."

"I think so too."

Megatron arrived at Decepticon headquarters and saw Starscream. Cute, my eye! That Megan ... And he smiled, then chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Starscream demanded.

Megatron looked at him. "Nothing ... just nothing," and he walked away.

Starscream looked after him. He's either blown a fuse or he's gone mad!

"Megatron," Soundwave said, somewhat relieved, "you're back. I thought the Autobots might have-"

"It's all right, Soundwave. I wasn't with the Autobots."

The blue tape deck gave him a quizzical look.

In private Megatron told Soundwave of his whole ordeal.

Soundwave sipped a small energon cube. "Sounds to me like you had fun being human."

Megatron looked at him. "Soundwave - if you were anyone else, I'd blast you."

The other smiled. "I know."

* * *

Optimus knelt down and held my hand gently in his. "Megan, I'm really sorry ... I'm-"

"Don't worry about it, Prime ... You didn't know."

"I know that, but I could've hurt you. I sincerely apologise."

"Please don't be upset, Optimus ..." I said, sadly. "It makes me feel upset ..."

"Sorry" he said.

Optimus gently picked me up in his hand. The Autobots took me home. They had given me the atomic Reverser for safe keeping.

I discovered Megatron aced all exams.

"Excellent!!!"

At school, I picked up all my books and assignments. I went into my locker and I found Megatron's paragraph. He got top marks for it. I also found his book that he'd left there -- The Wrath of Megatron -- I'd read it before - he's the one who gave it to me! It's very descriptive, interesting and long! It's very well written. It was one of the best books I'd ever read, even if I didn't want it all to come true. I found a note in my locker.

Dear Megan,

Thanks for everything. Thanks for helping me. I'm sorry if I caused you any undue duress.

Yours,

Nortagem.

I smiled. It's fine.

My school life was finished, but I was still best friends with Equus. We spent a lot of time together.

I telephoned Autobot headquarters. Optimus Prime answered.

"Hi, Prime!"

"Hello, Megan."

I asked him if Equus and I could come for a visit.

"Sure you can" he said, smiling. "I'll send Skyfire down."

Skyfire, in his huge Valkyrie jet fighter mode and picked us up in a short time and flew us to Autobot headquarters. I told Equus about swapping with Megatron. She was very surprised.

"So that's why you ... Megatron was acting weird ... He was cool though! You should've heard him tell off Mrs. Sharon Cowbell and that bitch, Liz!"

I howled. "Wicked!"

Optimus gently picked me up in his hand, while Ironhide showed Equus around Autobot headquarters.

"I'm still sorry," said Optimus Prime. "I should've thought

before I acted."

"Prime, I don't blame you - I looked and sounded exactly like Megatron. It's not your fault. I mean I could've very well been Meggers, pulling some nasty, evil, underhanded scheme, now could I?" I laughed evilly.

Optimus laughed. "Yeah ... Thanks for being so understanding, Megan."

"I had a good teacher," I said, pointing at him and he smiled. Equus came to me. "See - Optimus Prime doesn't have wrinkles."

She laughed. "He did on that picture!"

"Well they drew him wrong."

"What are you two arguing about?" asked Optimus Prime.

"Oh, just a picture of you that was drawn in Equus' colouring book. They didn't draw you right."

The Autobot leader smiled. "It doesn't matter."

"It does, Prime," I insisted. "I hate it when they don't draw Transformers right, and when they draw wrinkles and leave details off."

"My you're fussy," he said, smiling.

"My mother would beg to differ."

Optimus smiled. He was very kind to us.

We told the Autobots about some Autobot Transformers we'd designed and showed them the schematics and their profiles, abilities and weaknesses. They approved of and created them all. They all looked excellent.

We gave the Decepticons the plans for Decepticons Transformers we had created and they constructed them. They too looked great. I can't help liking both Autobots and Decepticons - hell, they all grown on you - even Megatron!

"Megan, Equus," said Optimus Prime, " Thank you for the new Autobots, and well, I guess, the Decepticons too..."

We were both proud.

Later, I was alone in a room in Autobot headquarters. Optimus

Prime came in. He knelt down and carefully picked me up. I sat on the soft, warm palm of his hand. I could tell he respected how much I cared about and loved him.

"Is there any way I could make up for mistreating you?" he asked.

I smiled. "Don't worry about it."

"I really want to do something for you."

My mouth curved up into a smile.

"Okay ... how about swapping with me for a week? ..."

We both laughed.

He stared at me. "You're joking ... right?... Right?!"

THE END???

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~

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