Disclaimer: La Femme Nikita is owned by Warner Brothers

No monetary profit is being made by this fanfic.

Summary: Michael reminisces.

Author’s note. Set after "Four Light Years Farther." Spoilers for "Four light Years Farther" and the fifth series.

Rating PG





I am I truly free? I breathe fresh air. The trees and occasional bird or squirrel my only company. I envy their simple lives.

Section thinks I am dead. How long will that last? Will they find me? Cancel me? Part of me doesn’t care. If they find me I will see her again? If only for a moment.

I am not blind to how much she has changed. Ironic isn’t it? She’s becoming more like me and vice versa. Part of me hates myself for what I did to her, how I manipulated and lied to her.

I can’t blame her for hating me for that, but it was the Section. It’s always Section. To hell with Section. I used to believe in what they stood for. What they fought for, but what have they become?

She told me she never loved me. Section raped her mind ... They took the person she used to be. The Nikita I loved.

At first I didn’t want to fall in love, but fates had other plans, as hard as I struggled against them. Was it because I was afraid to love? Afraid to show I had a weakness, or afraid of the power of love? Or perhaps both.

I take another breath of fresh air, for how long, I wonder.

Will Operations forgive and forget? I’ll hazard a guess and say no. For so long Section was my life ... I felt safe there, secure, sure of myself. Almost nothing could faze me, until she came into my life. Section had been my life until now ...

I stand and walk through the forest, feeling as though I am neither here nor there. How long will this last?

I was told I had no soul. If that’s true, then why does it hurt so much? Why am I afraid? Afraid to die? Afraid to live?


She told me she didn’t love me. But she let me go.

She told me she never loved me. If I believed that, I’d be dead.

For a time I went back, back to her, but it wasn’t to work out they way I had hoped. Do things ever work out the way you plan?

She told me she loved me. Perhaps I went back to find out what I already knew.

I have Adam to care for now, my boy, my baby. A cruel twist of fate that Nikita cannot be by my side. It seems our dream of a house with a big garage and that cocker spaniel will have to remain a dream, for now. Nikita went back into Section, she went back for me. There will come a time when Adam won’t need me anymore.

I am free from Section. Free to live what they call a normal life, shop at the grocery store, take Adam to school, take him to the park, just like a normal father, but will I ever be truly free without her?

How long will it be before she is free?




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