Disclaimers: Transformers are owned by Hasbro.

I make no monetary profit from my fanfic/fanart.

Summary: Kamikaze's profile and story.

Author's Note: Kamikaze created by Seawave and Equus.

Rating - MA - for profanity

~~~~~

KAMIKAZE - Actual Name: KAMI {Also Spelt Kammy}

ALLEGIANCE: AUTOBOT (EX-DECEPTICON)

FUNCTION: WARRIOR

"Be honourable - but be bad ..."

Profile: Kamikaze was one of the most ruthless Decepticons ever. Sometimes his fellows thought he was too ruthless, but he was one of Megatron's favourites. Kamikaze respected anyone with high firepower. He himself prefers not to fight with guns. He loved fighting, violence and anything illegal. Humans were beyond his notice. He absolutely hated getting into situations where he was helpless against the Autobots. If he did, he tried to muster all his bravado, was extremely foul mouthed and would swear his vocal-components out at them. He would try to get around them in any way possible - bribes, blackmail, threatening ... anything. Usually if he failed, he was left speechless or swore more. Kamikaze preferred to destroy Autobots painfully. Mercy had no meaning to him, but he does have a sense of honour. He won't attack an opponent who's down and prefers a fair fight.

Why Kamikaze was like this, is millions of years ago on Cybertron, he was created by two Autobots, his mother, Carah and father, Optimus Prime. They both worked on his

construction program. Carah named him Kammy, which can also be spelt Kami, and is Cybertronian for 'spirit'. Later, in a battle, Kammy and his parents were inside a building. Ironhide, an Autobot, was outside the building, trying to shoot Megatron, the Decepticon leader, standing in front of it. Megatron moved out of the way and Ironhide's blast hit the building, which collapsed, crushing Carah, but Kammy managed to escape with minor injuries. Optimus Prime was not inside the building. Kammy tried to help his mother, but realised she was dead. He was heartbroken and thought both his parents had been killed. He loved both of them, even though he didn't see much of his father and didn't even know who he was. He couldn't live with being an Autobot after what happened and later joined the Decepticons and changed his name. "Who ever heard of a Decepticon warrior called Kammy?" Kamikaze doesn't like anyone calling him by that name, because it was the special name his mother gave to him.

He later discovered who his father was and nearly blew all his systems - and was faced with the biggest dilemma of his life. He knows it's not the Autobots' fault at what happened to his mother and after all these years began to feel guilty about projecting all his anger onto them. He couldn't blame them - especially Ironhide for what happened - Ironhide harboured an enormous guilt for what had happened. Kamikaze felt remorse about the path he'd taken, sure his mother would not have approved. He was thrilled to at least have one of his parents alive and surprised that Optimus accepted him, even after what he'd become. Kamikaze accepted his mistake, chucked in his Decepticon badge and joined the Autobots. He didn't feel like a traitor to the Decepticons. Just misguided - and now he was being guided in the right direction. Some of the other Decepticons regard him as a traitor, but as Kamikaze says, "I don't give a $#!# what they think! It's my life, not theirs." It took a while for the other Autobots to accept him as one of them. He'd always liked Calliber Tron - they got on extremely well, even when they were enemies! Now Kamikaze is one of the most trusted and loyal Autobots, glad to finally have found his place. He'll always love his mother and father, even though Carah can't physically be with him, she is in spirit.

Abilities: Kamikaze's maximum speed in jet mode is Mach 5 - range 15000 miles, armed with a particle beam cannon. In robot mode, he carries a highly destructive plasma-energy cannon. Kamikaze specialises in all forms of martial arts, including Metallikato - a forbidden form of combat on Cybertron.

Weaknesses: Kamikaze tends to over-exaggerate everything and over-reacts - especially in situations where he's helpless. He always pushes it too far. He sometimes provokes Decepticons to attack him, which can lead him into situations he can't handle alone. (He used to do this with the Autobots when he was on the Decepticons side!) He often gets very depressed about his mother. He wants so much to talk to her and for her to be with him and it saddens him greatly that she never can be. He says he can feel her spirit, but wished more than anything that she could hold him in her arms again.

-- TECH SPECS --

STRENGTH -- 8 INTELLIGENCE -- 7

SPEED -- 7 RANK -- 7

ENDURANCE -- 9 COURAGE -- 8

FIREPOWER -- 7 SKILL -- 6

~~~~~~~

KAMIKAZE

An Autobot had been created, millions of years ago, on Cybertron, by two Autobots. Carah was one of them. The child created on a special construction program where the Transformer increases in size and intelligence as they grow older. The program worked perfectly. Carah had called him Kammy, or Kami, which in Ancient Cybertronian, meant 'spirit.'

About six months later, Kammy and his parents were inside a building. There was an Autobot/Decepticon battle raging outside. Optimus Prime left to assist the Autobots - they needed all the help they could get. Kammy was frightened as he heard the explosions and blasts. Carah told him to stay inside and she stayed with him. He loved his mother a lot. She was always there when he needed her.

Ironhide, an Autobot outside, took a shot at Megatron, the Decepticon leader who stood directly in front the building.

Megatron darted out of the way and Ironhide's blast struck the building. It collapsed to the ground, totally crushing Carah as she tried to protect her son. Kami managed to escape with injuries. He was devastated - and very frightened. He knew his mother wasn't coming back, although he did not quite understand the concept of Death. He scrambled away, without anyone seeing him. Ironhide and Optimus Prime rushed to the building. Ironhide felt absolutely terrible. He in ran to see if Kammy and Carah were all right. He accidentally sliced his arm on a sharp piece of metal and didn't even notice the pain. He and Optimus found Carah's body and were unable to repair her. Ironhide shut his eyes tight, but was unable to suppress the tears. Optimus looked away, unable to bear the gruesome sight.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry ... I don't deserve to live..."

"Ironhide," Optimus said, shaking his head. "It wasn't your fault."

Ironhide knew Optimus Prime was right, but still he felt awful.

Kami saw Optimus Prime and Ironhide, from where he was hiding. He was frightened and hoped they wouldn't hurt him. He didn't know why Ironhide had blasted the building. He was too young to understand the Transformers war. He knew an Autobot had killed his mother, and from that moment on, Kammy despised all Autobots, not realising both his parents had both been Autobots.

He survived on his own for many years, remaining well away from everyone. He taught himself how to fight, stole food - anything in order to survive and changed his name to Kamikaze, sounding more formidable than Kammy.

* * *

Later, when he was older, and confident in his abilities, he joined the Decepticons. Kamikaze loved fighting, violence and anything illegal. Now that the Transformers had moved to Earth, he found he loved breaking the law of Earth. Humans were beyond his notice. He also swore a lot. He found it relieved tension and "nice" curse words didn't have the same effect. Despite that, he had a fierce streak of honour.

The Decepticons were most impressed with his fighting skills and Megatron was most eager to accept him.

* * *

Kamikaze fought in his first battle on Earth.

Optimus Prime saw him in the battle, and wondered who "this new Decepticon" was. He got closer - and got the shock of his life - although he was older, Kamikaze had the same face.

Optimus Prime could not believe it. But ... I thought he died with Carah ... he thought, amazed.

Optimus Prime approached him. He had to be sure. Kamikaze spun around quickly and shot Optimus Prime in his stomach. The Autobot leader was thrown backwards.

"I ... I can't believe it ... " Optimus said quietly to himself, standing up.

Kamikaze leapt on top of him and started to fight with him. Optimus was unprepared. His laser rifle was thrown from his hand. Kamikaze forced Optimus Prime onto the ground. Optimus tried to throw Kamikaze off him, but didn't want to hurt him. It jogged a long-ago memory. He was once play-fighting with Kammy on top of him. A tear rolled down Optimus' his cheek. Kamikaze was puzzled.

He doesn't look frightened ... thought Kamikaze, ...he looks upset ... but why? ...

Kamikaze was shot by Grapple in his chest.

"Those Fucking Autobots!" he screamed.

Grapple ran to him and pointed his arc-welder rifle at him.

"Don't move ..."

"Get lost, Autoshit!"

Grapple shot him in his chest.

"I said get lost, you idiot!"

Grapple pointed his rifle closer to Kamikaze.

"You ...!" yelled Kamikaze. "You --"

"I wouldn't, if I were you ..." said Grapple, pointing his rifle between Kamikaze's eyes.

Kamikaze got the hint and kept quiet.

"Prime," said Grapple, "I've got a Decepticon prisoner."

"You Autobot Fu-" started Kamikaze.

Grapple clicked his rifle ready to shoot.

"Don't shoot him, Grapple," Optimus said. "We need him."

"Need me? " asked Kamikaze, surprised. "What the fuck for?"

Optimus looked at him. I certainly didn't teach him that. "We need you to tell us all Megatron's plans," he said.

"No fuckin' way!!"

Swearing was one of Kamikaze's ways of desensitising himself from his painful past.

Kamikaze tried to violently attack Optimus Prime. Optimus didn't want to hurt him, but countered Kamikaze's violence and tied his wrists together with Energon chains. Kamikaze tried to whack Optimus Prime in his head. Optimus ducked. Kamikaze violently whacked him in his stomach. Optimus quickly adjusted his laser rifle to stun and shot him. That was hard for him -- even on stun, but he said nothing. He carried Kamikaze inside Autobot headquarters and put him into a prison cell.

Kamikaze regained consciousness, just as Optimus Prime was leaving.

"Lemme outta here, Slime Prime!"

Optimus Prime paid no attention to him and left the cell.

"You shit!" swore Kamikaze loudly.

Optimus Prime tried to ignore the insults, but they still hurt.

Later, Optimus came back into the cell. Kamikaze swore at him. Optimus wasn't paying any attention to him. Kamikaze kept swearing at him. Optimus was getting angry. He didn't like swearing, and tried to remain patient and calm. He decided to wait until Kamikaze calmed down, but realised he'd as soon be crying fro the moon.

"You F-"

"STOP SWEARING!!!!!"

Optimus' yell silenced Kamikaze immediately. He had NEVER heard Optimus get this angry before.

Whoa ... I really peeved him off ... he thought.

Optimus calmed down. He hadn't meant to yell. He looked at Kamikaze. "You should wash your mouth out with Cyber-Soap!"

"Like as if!"

Optimus Prime asked Kamikaze about Decepticon battle plans, which brought a deluge of more vile insults. He pointed his laser rifle at Kamikaze. The Decepticon bought the bluff and thought it would be in his interests to be quiet.

"I am a little hungry, y'know," Kamikaze said. "Don't s'pose you could scare up some Energon?"

Optimus Prime didn't pay any attention to him and left.

Kamikaze kept on swearing at Optimus whenever he entered the cell.

"If you don't like my choice of words then that's fuckin' tuff! Now I want some Energon!"

Optimus Prime left the cell.

This kept on happening night after night. Kamikaze kept on swearing and swearing at Optimus Prime. Kamikaze was getting much hungrier and weaker.

"If I don't get some Energon ... I'll f...ucking starve..."

I wish I didn't have to make him suffer like this ... Optimus said. But he has to learn manners. I have to try and make him calm down ... He's so violent and angry ... I wish I had known he was alive - I would've taken care of him, but...

The next night, Optimus Prime came into the cell with two Energon cubes, hoping Kamikaze had learnt his lesson. Kamikaze knew that it would be no use to swear at him.

"Please" said Kamikaze quickly.

Without saying a word, Optimus Prime gave Kamikaze the Energon cubes.

I've gotta remember that word more often ... thought Kamikaze, drinking the remainder of the cube.

"Let me out of here you ... please?"

Optimus He then let him go. He didn't want to hurt him and knew it would be useless to ask Kamikaze about Megatron's plans, because he knew all Kamikaze wouldn't tell him and he was sick of being sworn at.

"He's got a mouth worse than an Earth sewer!"

* * *

A few nights later, Kamikaze waited outside Autobot headquarters for an unsuspecting Autobot to come outside.

Monitor emerged soon after. He loved the night, its stillness, quietness and beauty. All of a sudden, the stillness and silence were broken as he was grabbed by Kamikaze. Monitor tried to scream, but Kamikaze covered his audio. He then shot Monitor and took him to his torture room in Decepticon headquarters. He tied Monitor to the bed with Energon bands.

"Let me go" Monitor demanded.

"HAH! Not on your life!" exclaimed Kamikaze.

Monitor tried to struggle free, but couldn't. "Don't."

"Don't, what?" demanded Kamikaze.

"Whatever it is you are planning to do - I am sure I will not find pleasant."

Kamikaze smiled. "Boy, you're smart! Now, Monitor, before I kill you, there's ..."

"KILL ME??!! NO!!!"

"Well what did you expect?"

Monitor tried to struggle free. Kamikaze laughed evilly.

"As I was saying - before I kill you, I wanna have some fun..."

"Fun? What fun?" asked Monitor, shivering.

Kamikaze ignited a laser sword.

"No ..." Monitor shook his head in terror.

Kamikaze, without hesitating, sliced the Autobot down his middle. Monitor screamed in unbearable pain. Kamikaze then ripped his soft metal skin open with his hands.

"PLEASE STOP!!!"

Kamikaze just laughed.

"No way, jose!"

Monitor could not believe how cruel Kamikaze was. Kamikaze then dug inside him and ripped some of his internal organs out. Monitor screamed in pain. Kamikaze laughed and crushed them in his hand, then went to get something.

"What are you doing? " asked Monitor, weakly, frightened.

"Nothin much. I just wanna test some acids on you and find out which is the most painful ..."

"Wait ... I can tell you ... I've analysed all the forms

of-"

"Analyse this -- " snarled Kamikaze, throwing some highly-corrosive Cyber-acid onto Monitor's stomach.

Monitor's scream delighted him even more.

The Autobot now was crying. "Please ... " he begged weakly.

Kamikaze paid no attention to Monitor's painful plea or his cries and carried on torturing him in various ways. Monitor knew begging wouldn't help. He tried not to scream, but the pain was unbearable. He hoped someone would come to save him, but how? He tried to radio Autobot headquarters, but all his radio systems were out. Kamikaze smashed Monitor's sensitive chest, which was his screen in computer mode, then reached inside Monitor to rip his sensor out.

"No, please not my sensor ... Please ..."

Kamikaze ripped it out. "And why not? It's painful, isn't it? Good!"

Kamikaze tore it out. Monitor's scream almost blew out his audio sensors and he smiled as the immense pain triggered all the way down Monitor's body, which was already in excruciating pain. Kamikaze crushed Monitor's sensor in his hand. Monitor could not stand the pain anymore and he fell unconscious.

"Pathetic Autobot wimp ..."

Monitor later regained consciousness, to find to his dismay that he was still in immense pain. He didn't want Kamikaze to know that he was awake. Suddenly Monitor remembered that he had the power to hack any computer on Earth, including Teletraan I and Two.

"TELETRAAN ...HEEEEELP!!!"

Kamikaze instantly cut off the transmission.

"Nice try, Mono, what a pity you didn't get through ..."

He aimed his plasma energy cannon at Monitor, shot him in the head and killed him and then laughed.

"Whoa. Fuck that was fun ... Who's next? ..."

Monitor's frantic message did get through to Teletraan I.

"Optimus Prime, emergency!"

"What is it, Teletraan? "

"I have just received a frantic, urgent transmission from Monitor -- coming from Decepticon headquarters --"

"What?! Is he still transmitting?"

"Negative. It was a distress signal. He was abruptly cut off. I fear he might've been -- terminated..."

"Oh no ..." said Optimus Prime, worriedly. "Monitor needs me."

Optimus Prime put on a jet pack and quickly flew to Decepticon headquarters to rescue his friend. He found Monitor's body and was absolutely shocked. Monitor's absolutely mutilated body was tied up on the bed and it was plain to all and sundry that he was dead.

"How could anyone do this?" asked Optimus Prime, shocked and very upset. He freed Monitor's wrists and ankles, then quietly snuck into a spare room with Monitor. He sneaked around Decepticon headquarters and found some materials to repair Monitor. He replaced a lot of his internal organs and circuits.

In a few hours, Optimus had Monitor's body looking normal again, then gently re-energised his friend.

Monitor sat up with a start, terrified.

"Sshhh, Monitor. It's all right ..." calmed Optimus softly.

"Oh, Prime ... It was terrible ... He ... he-"

"I know. Who did this to you? "

"Kamikaze," Monitor growled.

Optimus Prime reeled back in shock. The word hit him like a million lightning bolts. "That ... Negative ... I won't say it..."

Optimus stared at the wall. How could he do this? I can't believe it ... How could someone I created do ...

Optimus Prime took Monitor home.

"We have to punish Kamikaze for what he did to you" he said. "And hopefully he won't do it again."

Optimus Prime didn't want to punish his son, but strongly he felt he had to. He told the other Autobots what Kamikaze did to Monitor and discussed with them how to punish him.

"Punish him? How?" asked Sideswipe. "Are we gonna spank his bottom and tell him he's a naughty boy?"

Optimus Prime laughed a little. It reminded of him when Kamikaze was young. "If only it was that simple" he said. "We have to capture him ... I wish we didn't have to torture him, but we have to teach him a lesson and hopefully no one else will suffer like Monitor has."

All the Autobots agreed with Optimus Prime. They planned to capture Kamikaze at the next battle - they didn't have to wait long.

By the end of the battle, all the Decepticons had retreated and Optimus Prime had cornered Kamikaze. Kamikaze was damaged. He couldn't transform or fly and felt too weak to perform any of his martial arts, of which he was a wizard. He was also unarmed. He felt angry and frightened. He knew there was no way he could escape this time.

"So, Kamikaze," said Optimus Prime, "how about surrendering?"

"Fuck you!"

Optimus Prime, reluctantly shot him and carried him inside. He tied Kamikaze down to the torture bed with Energon chains.

Kamikaze later regained consciousness and started swearing at the Autobots. Sometimes they thought Kamikaze was a laugh and sometimes provoked him. Kamikaze soon realised he couldn't swear his way out of this one, so he kept quiet. The Autobots switched on the torture machine. It began to hurt Kamikaze. He began swearing at the Autobots again. Optimus Prime turned up the power. This kept on happening.

"TURN THIS FUCKING THING OFF!!!" yelled Kamikaze, hurting a lot.

The Autobots turned the machine off.

"This is nothing compared to the pain I suffered" growled Monitor.

"Hey, Mono ... no hard feelings, okay?" Kamikaze paused. And what I did to you, Monitor, is NOTHING compared to the pain I felt when my parents died...

Kamikaze had to stop. He was close to tears.

Monitor punched Kamikaze as hard as he could in his face. Most of the Autobots didn't want to kill Kamikaze. Optimus Prime had left to answer a call from Carly and left Monitor and Cliffjumper in the room.

"Now, Kamikaze ..." said Monitor. "Prepare to die --"

Monitor activated a small door to open. There were hot laser slicers in there, slicing through the air. Monitor controlled the torture bed Kamikaze was on to proceed to the slicers. Kamikaze saw the and began swearing, in fear. Realising that wasn't helping and was nearing the laser slicers, he said, "uh... guys ... I can be reasonable ... I mean ... you don't wanna kill me ... come on!"

"Yeah ... " said Cliffjumper. "We do wanna kill ya."

"Come on ... " said Kamikaze to Monitor. "Yaah! Mono ... I don't want to die!"

"Neither did I."

"Aw ... come on, Mono..."

Monitor slapped Kamikaze across his face - hard. Kamikaze was getting closer and closer to the laser slicers.

"You're such great, wonderful guys ... " Kamikaze balked at his own words. "If you let me go, I'll give you lotsa Energon cubes ... I'll give you-"

"We're not open to bribes, Kamikaze. Nothing you do will save you now --"

"Come on ... you're so ... FUCK!" He could feel the heat of the laser slicers. "You're Autobots ... " said Kamikaze desperate. "You're not meant to kill ... You're meant to respect all life ... Just think about how angry and upset Optimus Prime would be if you killed me ..." Kamikaze was almost hyper-ventilating.

The Autobots turned off the laser slicers.

"Although you are a bastard," Cliffjumper said, "you're still alive and deserves a right to live, sorry, Prime."

Phew ... thought Kamikaze, relief being the prominent feeling. I gotta remember that one more often ...

"Did you scare him?" Optimus Prime asked.

"Shitless, as Kamikaze would say," Cliffjumper said.

Monitor said nothing.

"Monitor, I realise it's pretty lame compared to what he did to you, but we are Autobots and cannot adopt the ways of the Decepticons, otherwise we'd be no better than them."

Monitor nodded. "Sorry, Optimus."

"It's all right - go and get some rest and relaxation - you need it."

Monitor smiled. "I could not have put it better myself," and he left to play some relaxing Virtual Reality.

The Autobots let Kamikaze out of the room and took him to Optimus. Optimus tied his wrists together with an Energon band.

"What do you want, Optimus Slime?"

Optimus Prime put him into a prison cell.

"Let me out of here, Slime Prime!" he yelled.

Optimus Prime ignored him and walked out of the cell.

"Do you think he's learnt his lesson, Prime?" asked Cliffjumper.

"Let us hope so. "

Later on, Optimus Prime came into Kamikaze's cell.

"Let me outta here, Optimus Grime, or I'll-"

"You'll what?" Optimus demanded.

He didn't get an answer.

"I want to know all Megatron's plans."

Kamikaze stuck his middle finger up. "Up yours."

"Have you got anything else to say - besides swearing?"

"Nup."

Optimus Prime started to go out of the cell.

"Hey, I'm hungry," said Kamikaze.

"All right, Kamikaze, I'll get you an Energon cube," Optimus sighed. I'm glad I don't have hair - I'd've pulled it all out by now!

"Thanks, Optimus Slime."

Optimus Prime was getting agitated. He looked angrily at Kamikaze, but said nothing and returned with an Energon cube for Kamikaze. Kamikaze drank it in no time.

"Thank you, Optimus Slime."

"IF YOU CALL ME THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'LL--"

Optimus Prime pointed his laser rifle at Kamikaze's head.

"Relax, I won't, Optimus Sli - Prime. "

"Don't push it."

Optimus Prime tried to calm himself. His patience had been pushed well to its limit. He walked out of the cell and 'forgot' to lock the door. Kamikaze jumped at the chance to escape. He darted out of the cell. Optimus Prime fired after him and 'missed.' Kamikaze transformed into his jet mode and blasted Optimus Prime with his powerful particle beam cannon.

"So long, Optimus Slime ..."

Optimus Prime controlled his anger. He stood up. Kamikaze flew outside. He saw three Autobots on the ground and fired near them.

"Come and get me you fuckers ..." he jeered.

The Autobots just stood there. They were sending some kind of signal into Autobot headquarters.

"You're chicken, aren't ya?" Kamikaze teased and he waited.

"Come on ... come and get me ... I dare you to ..."

All of a sudden, most of the Autobot force started flying after Kamikaze.

"FUCKING HELL!"

The Decepticon flew full throttle back to Decepticon headquarters.

* * *

"Where were you?" demanded Megatron. "I was beginning to get worried."

Kamikaze smiled inwardly. Megatron seemed at care about him to a certain extent.

"The Autobots captured me. They were peeved off at what I did to Monitor."

"What did they do to do?"

Kamikaze told him.

Megatron smiled. "Ouch."

"Well" said Kamikaze," they've repaired him. They tortured me, but then I escaped. I wanna get another Autobot."

"Be my guest," Megatron smiled.

"Thanks."

* * *

A few days Later, another Autobot/Decepticon battle raged. Kamikaze was a master of all forms of martial arts, including Metallikato, a forbidden martial art form of combat on Cybertron. He was a good fighter and loved it. He was using martial arts on the Autobots. Some of the Autobots could perform martial arts, but weren't as specialised as Kamikaze. he was the master. Kamikaze was attacking the Autobots as violently as he could. He loved violence. Ironhide saw him and carefully aimed his gun at Kamikaze and pulled the trigger, silently wishing he didn't have to do that, but felt he had to. It was very hard for him. He walked to Kamikaze.

He knew why the Decepticon was so bitter towards the Autobots. The Decepticon regained consciousness and saw Ironhide. He almost started crying and couldn't bear to look at him.

"Kamikaze," Ironhide started, "I'm sorry about what happened. I-" Ironhide was almost in tears.

Kamikaze stood up and ran away. He couldn't stand being near Ironhide. He then transformed and flew as fast as he could away from the battle.

"I didn't mean to hurt him ... " Ironhide said sadly. "I hope he'll forgive me for what happened, but even if he doesn't, I understand."

Kamikaze flew into a cave, far away. He transformed into his robot mode, and probed the area to make sure there were no living things within a 300 kilometre radius. There was no one, except him and a lizard. He then sat on a rock and began to cry, soundlessly.

"Why did it have to happen? " he asked sadly, looking at the lizard. It darted off, but Kamikaze caught it. It wriggled between his fingers.

"You got it easy," he said. The lizard tried to snap at him, but couldn't penetrate Kamikaze's metal skin. "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you ..." He patted the lizard, then let it go.

He had realised later in his life that Ironhide wouldn't've meant to collapse the building and learned not to hate him as much. He'd read a very detailed profile on Ironhide and ascertained from that, that Ironhide was caring, and loyal.

but Kamikaze was still angry with Ironhide. He had tried to forgive him, but couldn't bring himself to do it. The Decepticon thought about his mother and father.

"I need you both ..." he said sadly. "I wish you were here... " He had detailed visions of his mother, but not so much of his father. He remembered how gentle his mother always was. He had never seen her angry. He remembered her playing with him and feeding him. Kamikaze stared at the wall of the limestone cave. "I wish you were now, Mother."

Kamikaze wiped away a tear and returned to Decepticon headquarters.

* * *

He saw Breakdown walking to the Energon room. Kamikaze, on the surface, believed Breakdown was a wimp. Deep down, he knew the other Decepticon wasn't. He felt he had to constantly make someone suffer, for what he had been through. He started to harass Breakdown.

"Stop it!"

"You're such a wimp!"

"I'm am not" protested Breakdown angrily. "You wouldn't like it if someone was molesting you."

Kamikaze kicked Breakdown in his stomach.

"Stop..." whined Breakdown in pain.

Breakdown had always had a suspicion that something traumatic had happened to Kamikaze a long time ago.

Kamikaze looked at Breakdown on the floor, trying to stand. He had some sense of honour and normally wouldn't attack an opponent who was down. Kamikaze let Breakdown stand and then started bashing him again.

"Stop taking out your own personal pain on others!"

Kamikaze stopped, but couldn't bring himself to tell anyone his painful secret - but how long could he keep silent? The pain tore him apart every day.

"Nothin' happened to me, ya wimp'" he snapped. " Mind ya business!"

Breakdown had expected that reply.

"Whatever happened, Kamikaze, was not my fault, and hurting others isn't going to make it All right. "

"I told ya before nothing happened!"

This only furthered Breakdown's suspicions.

Kamikaze knew Breakdown was right and angrily left.

* * *

Kamikaze wanted to capture an Autobot and decided on Mindwave another he thought was a wimp.

Mindwave was playing in one of his secret spots. He loved animals and loved to be alone with them peacefully. He used his telepathic powers to communicate with them. Kamikaze quietly came up to Mindwave and grabbed him. Mindwave yelped.

"Don't resist me, Mindy ... Or I'll blow these puny creatures away ..."

"They're not puny!"

Kamikaze grabbed a wolf cub in his hand.

"Would you like to see me squash this thing?"

"NO!!! Please don't hurt him ... Take me ... Do whatever you want to me ... just don't hurt him ... please... "

Kamikaze threw the cub away. He hadn't intended to hurt it in the first place. Mindwave gasped and hoped the wolf wasn't hurt. He was grateful Kamikaze hadn't killed his friend. Kamikaze jerked Mindwave roughly and flew with him to Decepticon headquarters to his torture room. Kamikaze then tied Mindwave to the end with Energon bands.

"What are you going to do to me?" asked Mindwave, frightened.

"Whatever I like."

"Please don't hurt me ..."

Kamikaze laughed, then picked up his laser sword and did to Mindwave what he had done to Monitor. Mindwave was crying and screaming with pain.

"PLEASE STOP!!!"

Kamikaze ripped open Mindwave's soft, gentle metal skin. Mindwave was whimpering.

"Shut up ... you pathetic Autobot wimp ..."

"It hu ... hur...ts ..." Mindwave cried, as a painful memory from his past felt like it punched him in the stomach.

"I know."

Kamikaze dug into Mindwave, pulled some of his internal organs out and squashed them in his hand. Mindwave was absolutely petrified. He couldn't STAND the pain anymore.

Ohh ... poor Monitor went through this too ... he thought. Why is Kamikaze doing this to me? ...

Kamikaze threw some Cyber-acid onto Mindwave. Mindwave's scream nearly deafened him. He started to strangle Mindwave. The Autobot was crying. Kamikaze tightened his grip. Mindwave started coughing. Kamikaze let go, roughly, hurting Mindwave, then dug his hand inside Mindwave's chest and tightened his grip on some of Mindwave's circuits.

"How's this, Mindy?"

"Ohh ... Kammy ... please don't ..." Mindwave begged, weakly, crying.

The word 'Kammy' hit Kamikaze like a lightning bolt. He jerked. He was just about to burst out crying. He let Mindwave's circuits go and quickly walked out of his torture room.

Kammy ... That's what Carah used to call me ... My real name...

Tears poured down Kamikaze's cheeks. He hadn't been called by his real name since the day his mother was killed.

And Mindwave's eyes ..." he thought. " ... They remind me of her ... He dried his eyes and walked back into his room. He didn't want to hurt Mindwave anymore.

I know my mother - and my father, whoever he was, wouldn't want me to hurt anyone. I'm sorry ... I just want to make the Autobots suffer like I did ... I ... I-

In a way he felt like he was betraying his parents, especially his mother. He felt terrible. "I hope she understands ..."

Psycho-Phaser, Decepticon, saw Kamikaze capture Mindwave, although Psycho-Phaser was a Decepticon, Mindwave was his brother. He wondered what Kamikaze did with him.

"Hey, Kamikaze ..."

"Yeah? What?"

"What did you do to Mindwave?"

Kamikaze told him.

"WHAT??!! ..." Psycho-Phaser he said, furious, then calmed himself down. "Listen ... I know he's Autobot and all, but-"

"WHAT??!! YOU MEAN YOU'RE ACTUALLY PROTECTING AN AUTOBOT!!?? YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!!"

Kamikaze pointed his plasma energy cannon at Psycho-Phaser to blast him.

"Wait!! I 'm not a traitor. Even though he's a 'Bot and I'm a 'Con, he's my brother."

"Pretty weird" said Kamikaze. "If he's your brother, why isn't he a 'Con?"

"Are you nuts?! He's nothing like us - look at him, there's nothing Decepticon about him."

"I know that" said Kamikaze. "If you don't mind me asking, then if he's your brother, then why aren't you an Autobot?"

"Because my nature, although Mindy is my brother, was more Decepticon, so I decided to join the 'Cons."

"Good choice. Does Mindwave care for you?"

"He loves me," replied Psycho-Phaser.

Kamikaze was surprised. "Do you like him much?" he asked.

Psycho-Phaser, deep inside him, loved his brother, a lot, but felt he couldn't reveal that to anyone.

"I like him, 'cos he's my brother but ..."

"What happened to you two before?" asked Kamikaze out of interest.

"Well ... It was a long time ago and I've never told anyone... But I don't suppose it'll hurt ... Mindwave and I were together. He was quite small. He was created on one of those Transformer growth programs."

"That's how I was created ..." Kamikaze said. "I've never told anyone that before."

Psycho-Phaser smiled, then continued. " We stayed on Cybertron with our mother. "

"Your mother? "asked Kamikaze, very surprised. "What ... what was she like? What did she look like? What happened to her? ..."

Psycho-Phaser hesitated and said, "She was smallish, white and blue-"

Kamikaze thought of his mother, smallish, but her colour was brown.

"Cherala was very kind," Psycho-Phaser continued, "and cared a lot for both of us. In a way I felt a little jealous of Mindy, 'cause she kinda paid more attention to him. I had an argument with her one day and angrily stormed off ... and... "

"And what? ..." asked Kamikaze, interested.

"... I came back later that day and ..."

Psycho-Phaser paused. He then tool a deep breath and continued.

"You're the only second person I've told about this."

"I won't tell anyone." If there was a good thing about Kamikaze, he kept his word.

Psycho-Phaser continued. "When I came... she had been ... mutilated ... someone had k... killed her ..."

Kamikaze gasped. He almost started crying himself.

"Who ... who killed her? ... " he asked, voice barely audible.

"I don't know " replied Psycho-Phaser, keeping his tears back. "But when I find out, you want \to help me torture 'em?"

"Sure."

"... I feel so terrible about slapping her ... I ... I wish I hadn't walked out ... I could have protected her... Mindwave was in too much shock to tell me what happened. He said there were two of them but he didn't see them properly from where he was hiding ... He blamed himself for being small and weak. I told him if they'd found him they'd have killed him too. We then left to join the Autobots and Decepticons. Mindwave was upset about me leaving him, but understood. In a way I feel like I've betrayed my mother."

Kamikaze felt a rapport with Psycho-Phaser, after all, he felt the same way. In a way, he wanted to tell him about his mother, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Now, Kamikaze didn't mind if Psycho-Phaser loved his brother.

What Psycho-Phaser had said had got Kamikaze thinking - his mother, Cherala, had been an Autobot and yet he joined the Decepticons. Kamikaze shocked himself when he discovered he'd not once thought of his parents' allegiance. His mother had always been kind - unlike a Decepticon.

Maybe she was neutral ... Deep down he knew she would not approve of his ruthlessness. He decided if Carah and his father were Autobots he would love them, regardless - and if he had Autobot brothers or sisters, he'd love them too.

He helped Psycho-Phaser repair Mindwave.

"Look, if you wanna blast me, for what I did to your brother, I'll understand."

"No .. I'm still pissed at you, but I know what you’re going through."

It was a battle for Kamikaze to keep his tears back. He repaired Mindwave's immediate damage, but some of it was too severe. It's easier to break than it is to fix...

He flew with Mindwave to Autobot headquarters, left him outside the main entrance and flew away as quickly as possible.

* * *

Later, the Autobots found Mindwave's partially repaired body outside Autobot headquarters.

"THAT @#$%&* KAMIKAZE!!" yelled Springer.

"No need to swear like him, Springer, something happened to him a long time ago."

"Sorry, Prime. What happened to him?"

"It's ... it's private."

"Come on, Prime ... You can tell me ..."

"No - I can't."

"Come on, Prime ..." urged Springer.

"I said, it's private."

Springer silenced.

"Sorry" said Optimus, not meaning to get angry. "Quickly, we have to repair Mindwave."

Optimus, being extremely gentle, carried his wounded friend inside. He examined Mindwave, discovered he wasn't dead, but unconscious. Optimus Prime was relieved and noticed that some damage had been repaired and was puzzled, but still angry at what Kamikaze had done.

Mindwave later woke up with a start. Optimus Prime asked him exactly what happened to him.

"Kamikaze was hurting me like he did to Monitor. I was screaming and screaming in pain. I said 'ohh, Kammy ... please don't ...' Kamikaze looked sad when I said that. He went out of the room for a while. I became unconscious.

He must've brought me here."

Kammy ... Kami ... His real name... thought Optimus, sadly. I want to talk to him about it, but how can I? He won't believe me.

* * *

Kamikaze went flying by himself. He saw Ironhide, sitting alone by a lake. The old Autobot looked upset.

I know he's upset about what he did to my parents... but It was his fault ... I know he didn't mean to, but ...

Kamikaze saw Ironhide was unarmed. I could kill him ...

Kamikaze was about to fire at Ironhide.

"I can't ... he then said. "Ironhide must feel terrible about what he did and I can't hurt my mother anymore. I ... I just can't kill Ironhide ..."

Kamikaze flew to a secret cave and made sure there was no one around. He couldn't risk cracking up in front of other Decepticons. Satisfied, Kamikaze sat on the ground with his legs out and put his face on a rock and cried loudly. He tried to quieten down.

"I need you ..." he said to his parents, wishing they were with him.

Kamikaze stayed in the cave, in solitude for hours, until he started to get hungry. He hadn't brought any Energon, so had to return to Decepticon headquarters.

When he arrived, he transformed into his robot mode and drank an Energon cube.

"Where were you?" asked Megatron.

"Out" replied Kamikaze.

Megatron looked at him. "You look like you've been crying."

The words hit Kamikaze like a cannon blast. He held back a gasp and a shocked exclamation. "Negative, Megatron," he lied. "I was caught in a blizzard while I was comin' back. The snow hit my optics hard. They're just lubricating."

"All right" Megatron said. He had always suspected that something had happened to Kamikaze a long time ago. He wasn't sure what and wasn't exactly aching to find out. He reasoned whatever happened was extremely private and knew Kamikaze wouldn't take kindly to prying.

* * *

The next day, there an Autobot/Decepticon battle raged in a thunderstorm. Kamikaze was attacking the Autobots half heartedly. Usually he loved battle, but his mind was with his mother. Suddenly, he was struck by an extremely powerful lightning bolt. It hurt him a lot. He crashed painfully onto the ground and just managed to transform into robot mode. He lay there in extreme pain, with his metal skin split open. Kamikaze was bleeding. The pain was so intense, Kamikaze wanted to cry, forced himself not to. Optimus Prime saw what had happened to him. He saw what pain Kamikaze was in and felt sorry for him and walked to him. Kamikaze was frightened. He was absolutely helpless and defenceless - and Optimus Prime was at full strength - with his laser rifle. Kamikaze tried to crawl away from him. That hurt him a lot. He then swore weakly at Optimus Prime. Optimus Prime laughed his soft, gentle laugh.

"No matter what predicament you're in, Kami, you swear."

A sad look came on Kamikaze's face. Optimus Prime noticed it.

"You're wounded, Kammy, let me help you."

Optimus Prime came closer to Kamikaze and knelt down. Kamikaze kicked him as hard as he could in his stomach. It didn't hurt Optimus much. Kamikaze was frightened. Optimus could see that.

"Don't be frightened, Kami, I won't hurt you."

"Please don't call me that ..." said Kamikaze sadly.

He didn't want anyone to call him by his real name than them.

"All right, Kaz, I won't" said Optimus Prime. "I promise I won't hurt you."

Kaz ... thought Kamikaze, My father sometimes called me that ... I wish I knew who he was ... I wish both of them were alive ... I ...

Kamikaze was almost crying. Optimus Prime could see that. He felt very sympathetic towards him. Kamikaze tried to get away from him.

"I just wanna help you" said Optimus Prime, gently.

"I don't want your f...ucking ... help..."

Kamikaze tried to attack. All of a sudden, some metal fell onto him ripping into him. It was extremely painful. Mercifully he fell unconscious. The whole thing happened very fast. Optimus Prime quickly took the large, sharp piece of metal out of Kamikaze, threw it away and carried him inside. Optimus felt very sorry for him. He put him down gently on the bed in the repair bay and began to repair him. Optimus believed everyone had a right to live, even his enemies. He cleaned all Kamikaze's blood off his body and began to repair his internal organs and circuits which had been damaged. It took him quite a long while to get Kamikaze's body back to normal. He then started to re-energise him slowly. Kamikaze was slowly waking up. He was semi-conscious. He thought about his parents.

"I need you ..." he said sadly.

Optimus Prime turned around. He realised Kamikaze was semi-conscious. Kamikaze started to cry. He talked sadly and cried more about his parents.

Optimus Prime felt extremely sorry for him. A tear rolled down his cheek for he also loved Carah. He wanted to tell Kamikaze everything, but didn't know if he was ready for it yet.

It must've hurt him so much ... I want to talk to him - but how? Ironhide is the only other Autobot that knows. It's very private to Kamikaze. I want to tell the other Autobots, but he won't be able to cope if I did. I won't say anything ... yet. I hope one day he'll know the truth and I hope Carah can be repaired ...

Another tear rolled down Optimus Prime's cheek. Kamikaze stopped talking and stopped crying and began to wake up. He saw he was inside Autobot headquarters, repaired. He looked at Optimus Prime. He could not believe that Optimus Prime had repaired him.

"I suppose I should thank you, but-"

"You don't have to, Kaz. You can go now."

"Don't call me that ..." said Kamikaze, trying not to sound upset.

"Why not, Kamikaze?" asked Optimus Prime, gently.

"I ... I ... don't like it ..."

Optimus Prime nodded, knowing the real reason his son didn't like being called 'Kaz.'

I wish I could tell him ... thought Optimus, but when? ... How? ... Will he believe me?

Kamikaze thanked Optimus for repairing him. Optimus let him go back to Decepticon headquarters.

Kamikaze was grateful that Optimus Prime had helped him.

There's something about him that reminds me of ... Nah ...

Kamikaze walked into his quarters. He had a stereo system and his favourite songs on CD that he'd stolen from the Humans. He played the songs. Kamikaze loved anything with loud and with swearing - movies, plays, books, anything ...

He thought about his parents. What he liked in life was absolutely nothing compared to how much he loved them. He thought about what he was like now, his attitudes, how he had changed ...

I know they wouldn't approve of me being so ruthless, and cruel, but I hope they understand why ...

Kamikaze turned off the tape, with someone singing, or rather screaming swear words, and played a peaceful, gentle instrumental tune, which reminded him of his mother. He lay down and closed his eyes. Although Kamikaze was a Decepticon, if his parents were Autobots, he would always respect and love them.

* * *

After one Autobot/Decepticon battle, Calliber Tron had been badly wounded by Buzzsaw - the condor swooped down on cal, and ripped the Autobot's head open with his beak. Cal hardly knew what had hit him. His brain was damaged - he could not move, let alone see or transform Kamikaze saw it happen and wasn't too pleased with Buzzsaw's tactics - he also felt something for Calliber Tron - even thought the two were enemies. He saw Cal there, groaning with pain, bleeding - and it didn't take an expert to know that he was dying. Kamikaze approached him slowly. Cal could tell someone was there. he didn't want to admit his fear, but hoped it was an Autobot. Kamikaze knelt down to his and gently picked him up, being sure that no one was watching him.

"T ... thank ..." Cal started to say.

"Shhh," Kamikaze said. "Don't strain yourself."

Calliber Tron tensed as he recognised the voice.

"Hey," Kamikaze said. "It's all right. I dunno why, but I wanna help you ... Buzzsaw attacked you from behind - hardly fair."

"I'll get ... that buzzard...That-"

"Shut up, shit head - you're low enough on energy as it is." Kamikaze smiled. He transformed into his jet mode and placed Calliber Tron on top of him. "This is gonna be uncomfortable, Captain Shithead, but it'll only be until I can get you home."

"Thanks ... Asshole ..."

Kamikaze smiled again. He flew slowly so as not to jolt himself which may cause Cal to fall off. Kamikaze was low on energy, but determined to keep him promise to Cal, even though he was an Autobot. He also flew quite skilfully to avoid anyone seeing him.

Kamikaze finally arrived to Autobot headquarters with Cal. At first the Autobots thought that he had damaged Cal, but then thought 'why would he bring him here, then?' They took them both inside and Ratchet was immediately on Calliber Tron. Kamikaze collapsed from exhaustion. He tried to get up, but much to Kamikaze's humiliation Ratchet made him lie down while he attended to Cal, whose wound was very serious. Ratchet dried up the blood, and reconstructed Cal's braid as best he could, then attended to Kamikaze, re-energising him.

"Thanks..."

"Thank you," Ratchet said. "If you hadn't brought him here, Cal would be dead. Not that I'm complaining, but why did you help him?"

"Never attack a robot when he's down," Kamikaze said, unsure of what the feeling he had for Calliber Tron was and unwilling to share it with anyone.

Optimus Prime came into the repair bay and thanked Kamikaze.

"It's fine. And don't bother asking - I don't know why I wanted to help him."

Optimus Prime smiled, knowing the reason and hoping he could tell Kamikaze and Calliber Tron someday.

Calliber Tron thankfully regained consciousness.

"God, have I got a headache..."

"I'm not surprised," Kamikaze said.

"Hey, I'm not one to get sentimental, Kam, but thanks."

Kamikaze smiled. "It's okay - don't to it again!"

"I don't plan to ... Ouch..."

"I can give you some anaesthetic, but your head will hurt for a few days," Ratchet said. "So don't go near Blaster or Jazz."

Optimus laughed. "Sound advice, Ratchet."

"And no strenuous activities for at least two weeks."

"What?!"

"Doctors orders."

"Gee," Kamikaze said. "And I thought I had it tough being a Decepticon."

"All right ..." Cal gave in. "Ohh, I'm gonna get that fucking Buzzsaw!"

"Language Cal!" Kamikaze mock snapped.

And Optimus let out a short laugh. "You'd better be going, otherwise Megatron's gonna wonder if you've left the planet."

"Yeah, right ... Take care, Captain Shit Head!"

"You too, Asshole!"

Optimus smiled as he watched Kamikaze go, hoping he could tell him the truth one day.

A few days later, Kamikaze was captured by the Autobots. They were well used to his swearing and cursing by now.

"What do you want with me?" he snarled angrily, trying to struggle away from Skyfire and Trailbreaker.

"Release him" ordered Optimus, coming to them.

Skyfire and Trailbreaker gave Kamikaze a push to Optimus. Optimus placed an Energon band around Kamikaze's wrist and lead him into his quarters. Kamikaze tried to struggle away. Optimus unlocked the band, freeing Kamikaze's wrists. Kamikaze was puzzled at first. He then tried to attack Optimus. Optimus held him at bay. Kamikaze, realising he couldn't win, gave up.

"What do you want?" he growled, angrily. "Oh ... don't tell me. I know. Megatron's plans ... Well, Slime Prime - I'm not gonna tell you - so there."

"Kamikaze ..." started Optimus.

"What? You're gonna torture me if I don't tell ya? Ooohhh that's heavy, Prime ..."

"Kamikaze, I do not torture my enemies unless there is a dire need to. Anyway that's not what-"

"Typical of you. That's not what - what?"

"That's not what I want you for."

"Then what do you want me for, Prime? You don't wanna know our plans ... You're not gonna torture me. So what are you gonna do?"

Kamikaze continued making sarcastic remarks.

Optimus suggested, knowing it would shut Kamikaze up," how would you like me to recite one of my peace speeches?"

"Hey - You said you weren't gonna torture me."

Optimus smiled a little.

"I'm not, Kamikaze, I promise. I want you to know something. There's something I must tell you." Optimus Prime was sick of hiding it - Kamikaze had to know. The Autobot leader's serious tone calmed Kamikaze. He was confused, but tried not to show it.

"What do you wanna tell me?" he asked, trying not to sound too curious.

Optimus continued.

"It will be hard for me to tell you, Kamikaze. I'm still not sure if you're ready for it yet."

"Ready for what? - Okay! I admit - I'm confused - Can you please tell me what in the hell you're on about before I go crazy?!"

"I'm not sure if I can, but I'll try ... You ... you-"

"Yeah? Me ... me what?"

Optimus smiled slightly.

"Kammy, I ..."

Kamikaze scowled. "Do not call me Kammy."

"Why not?"

"I don't like it."

"You're lying to me, Kamikaze. You love that name."

"I do not! I hate it!"

Optimus looked at him.

"It's your real name."

Kamikaze jerked, then froze.

How could he know that? ... What made Kamikaze angry, was that he could not deny it. "Okay ..." he snapped, angrily. "How on Cybertron did you find out?"

"I didn't 'find out,' Kami. I knew all along. Ever since you were-"

"Ever since I was what?" Kamikaze was almost crying.

"Ever since you were created."

Kamikaze was feeling uneasy. He glared at Optimus. "How do you know this?" he snapped.

Optimus was silent for a moment.

"It was a long time ago, I know," he said, "but being the Autobot leader, don't you think I knew which Autobots were being created?"

"I am not an Autobot!" Kamikaze spat.

"You were then, Kammy. Your parents had no intention of you becoming a Decepticon."

Kamikaze was shivering inside. They were Autobots? ...

"How do you know about them? ..." he asked, trying not to make his voice shiver.

Optimus Prime hesitated, turned away, then said, "your mother... Carah ... cared very much bout you. She-"

Optimus Prime turned around, to see Kamikaze, sitting on the ledge, crying. He sat down next to him, gently put his arm around him and comforted him.

"It's all right, Kami," he said soothingly. "I know how much she means to you and how much you care about her."

Kamikaze pushed Optimus Prime's arm of him.

"I'm not crying. My eyes are oiling."

Optimus looked sympathetically at him.

"You can't deny this, Kammy."

"All right ... " snapped Kamikaze, sobbing, "but there's my father too ... He died as well ..."

"Kamikaze, that's what I want to tell you."

"What?!" asked Kamikaze, still sobbing. "I thought me and Ironhide were the only Transformers that knew about this."

"I know too. What I wanted to tell you was, your father was not killed when the building collapsed."

Kamikaze was confused.

"What? ... But he-"

"He's not dead, Kamikaze, well not yet anyway."

"How do you know? You weren't there."

"Indeed I was."

"Then you saw my father?"

Kamikaze had a little excitement in his voice, but tried not to let it surface.

"Well ... yes ..." said Optimus Prime. "I ... saw him. He tried to save you and your mother, but he was too late. He thought you'd both been killed."

"Where is my father now? Is he on Earth? On Cybertron? Can I see him? ... Who is he?"

"He's on Earth, but I'm not sure you're ready to know who he is yet."

"Ohh ... please, Prime ..." begged Kamikaze, desperately. He wasn't bothered with hiding it, since Optimus seemed to know everything anyway. "Please tell me."

Maybe I should have told him this before ... he thought, I'm still not sure if he's ready for it yet ... but he deserves a right to know after all this time ...

Kamikaze tugged on Optimus Prime's arm like an impatient child.

"Tell me, please!"

"All right, Kamikaze. This'll be hard for me to say and perhaps even harder for you to accept ..."

Optimus paused.

"I am your father."

Kamikaze felt as if he'd been struck in the head by lightning. Stutters were all that came from him. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped. He then fainted. Optimus looked down at him.

"I finally told him ..." he breathed, feeling as if a heavy weight had been taken off him.

He picked up Kamikaze and waited patiently for him to regain consciousness. Kamikaze slowly came to.

"Was I dreaming?"

Optimus smiled. "No."

Kamikaze shook his head and stared at Optimus. "I don't believe it ..." Then he thought about it. In a way he's always reminded me of my father ... and I didn't know why... The only thing Kamikaze remembered about his father, were his big blue, but gentle hands. He looked at Optimus Prime's hands and burst into tears. "I never thought I'd do this..."

He threw his arms around Optimus Prime.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before ... "confessed Optimus. "I-"

Kamikaze smiled, through his tears.

"Don't worry about it ... Dad ..."

A tear rolled down Optimus Prime's cheek. He gently hugged Kamikaze back.

"Prime, when I was fighting you once, you looked upset - now I know why."

"Originally I thought you had been destroyed when the building collapsed. I was both overjoyed and amazed that after all this time you had survived, but when you attacked and leapt on top of me, it reminded me of when you were little... young ... How we used to play fight together ..."

Kamikaze vaguely remembered. "After all this time ..." he said, sadly, "... I can't believe I've been fighting against my own father ..."

"It's all right, Kamikaze. You didn't know."

"No it's not all right, Prime. I love my parents and now I feel as if I've betrayed them ... you and Carah ... and I feel like a real shit."

"You haven't betrayed us, Kami."

Kamikaze looked at the floor. He thought back to how he had hurt Monitor and Mindwave.

"I hurt your friends ... badly ... I feel awful..."

Tears rolled down Kamikaze's cheeks. Optimus gently wiped them away.

"I'm sorry, Prime ... I felt I had to hurt someone ... I had been hurt so much ... I wanted someone else to feel the pain, but I realise now, that was wrong. They didn't cause my suffering and no matter how much I hurt others, that doesn't take away my pain. It never will ... I'm really sorry ..."

"I know, Kamikaze. I forgive you for everything, but I cannot forgive-"

"Can't forgive what? Something I did?"

Optimus shook his head. "Myself."

"It's not your fault."

"Carah ... I should have been protecting her ... and you... It was all my fault ..."

"Prime, you didn't know it was going to happen, but I know how you feel. If it wasn't for me, Carah would still be alive too."

"Don't blame yourself Kamikaze. It wasn't your fault it was mi..."

"It wasn't your fault, dammit! ... I suppose it wasn't my fault either. For years I blamed Ironhide for what happened, after all, it was him who shot the building, but I know he didn't mean to hurt Carah. I felt like killing him sometimes, but deep down, I always knew it wasn't his fault, no matter how much I wanted to blame him for it."

Optimus smiled. "Ironhide used to love to look after you - you used to play with him all the time."

Kamikaze swallowed. "I did? I can't remember..."

"Ironhide has always blamed himself for what happened. It took me a long while to help him see it wasn't his fault." Kamikaze nodded, very vaguely remembering being thrown up into the air by a red Autobot and he smiled. "Prime, I-"

"Yes?"

"I-"

"What is it, Kamikaze?" prompted Optimus Prime, gently.

"I want to ... become -"

Kamikaze then stopped. Optimus looked at him.

"An Autobot?"

Kamikaze slowly nodded.

"I can't fight against my own father and his friends. I know it's risky for me to join, and most of the Autobots will balk at the idea, but I have to take that chance."

Optimus Prime smiled. "I'll protect you this time, Kammy, I promise."

Kamikaze smiled at his father.

"Thank you ... The Autobots can call me Kammy if they want. It is my real name."

Optimus Prime replaced Kamikaze's Decepticon symbol with an Autobot one. Kamikaze looked at it, proud.

"Thank you, Daddy-o."

Optimus smiled.

"It's all right, son. I had always hoped for this ... Now, you can meet the other Autobots. I know you've already met them, but not as an Autobot."

"Wait" broke in Kamikaze, "all my stuff's at Decepticon headquarters. I have to go back there and get it."

"You can't, Kamikaze" said Optimus, concerned. "It's too risky and dangerous."

"No it's not. They don't know that I'm a 'Bot yet. I'll get my stuff and be outta there before they know I was even there. I have to get it. Some of it's very important to me. I have to ... please ... "

"All right, but please be careful. I don't want to lose you again."

"Don't worry, Prime. You won't. Trust me."

Optimus smiled as Kamikaze transformed and flew back to Decepticon headquarters.

When he arrived, he went straight to his quarters getting the most important things first, his diaries, memories of his mother and many other personal possessions. The last things he took were his tapes and ghetto blaster. He then walked out of his quarters Psycho-Phaser saw him.

"Where you goin' with all that?" he inquired. "Look like you're movin' house."

Kamikaze gasped.

"Out" he said. "I wanted to listen to some music."

"Out? Out where?"

"Look - Just out, okay?"

"Megatron's been looking for you," said Psycho-Phaser.

Kamikaze's black face felt as though it was turning white. Psycho-Phaser then saw his Autobot symbol.

"What the? ... You're an ..."

"Oh, fuck! ... Ssshhh!"

Kamikaze covered his mouth. Psycho-Phaser drew his head backwards.

"But why Kamikaze? This is inconceivable ... so unlike you... I mean - is it a trick?"

"It's a long story, Psych. Just don't tell anyone, please..."

"I don't know, Kamikaze, I mean ..."

"Listen, Psych, remember you told me about you and Mindwave - How your mother was killed?"

Psycho-Phaser sadly nodded.

"Somethin' like that happened to me to."

Psycho-Phaser jerked in surprise. "You never told me."

"At the time I couldn't tell anyone.

"But why are you leaving?"

"If you tell anyone this I'll kill you."

"Go on," Psycho-Phaser said.

"I thought both my parents died, but I fond out my father is alive!"

Psycho-Phaser smiled.

"And he's an Autobot, obviously. Who?"

Kamikaze took a breath. "Optimus Prime."

"You're shittin' me!"

Kami shook his head. "Nup."

"Whooh!"

"Look, I can't fight against my own family, so I'm leavin' -

but don't tell anyone about it, okay?"

"I should" said Psycho-Phaser, "but I won't. I find it hard to fight against my brother. I've thought of joining too. Maybe someday..."

Kamikaze smiled. "Thanks, dude. I'll remember this."

"Go on - Get goin' before someone else finds out and say hi to Mindy for me and don't tell anyone about what I said."

"Hey, trust me. Sure I'll say hi to him for ya ... Fuck. Megatron's comin' ..."

"Move it. I'll cover for you."

Kamikaze made it safely out of Decepticon headquarters, just as Megatron came to Psycho-Phaser.

"Have you seen Kamikaze?"

"Nope."

Megatron walked away. Psycho Phaser wiped his forehead.

"Phew ..."

* * *

Kamikaze soon arrived at Autobot headquarters. Optimus Prime met him outside.

"Come in " he said. I'll take you to your quarters."

"My quarters?"

"I've prepared one of our spare quarters for you. It's yours now."

"Thanks."

Optimus showed Kamikaze to his quarters. Kamikaze started to unpack his belongings.

"Most of this stuff's about my mother," he said. "You can read it if you want."

"But it's private to you, Kami."

"Come on ... You're my father. It's family business."

Optimus Prime smiled. "Thank you."

"It's okay, Dad."

Kamikaze put down his ghetto blaster and tapes.

"Some of these ain't exactly Blaster's choice," he said, "but I like 'em."

"Blaster's choice isn't exactly mine either," agreed Optimus, "at least his volume isn't."

Kamikaze smiled.

"Make yourself at home," said Optimus. "I have to check Teletraan I's surveillance results."

Optimus walked to the main control room.

Kamikaze put all his things away, then left his quarters to have look around Autobot headquarters. He basically knew his way about, but felt strange now that he was an Autobot and not having to sneak around to avoid detection. He began to walk down another corridor and was spotted by Monitor. Monitor pointed his automatic hand-blaster at Kamikaze.

"Hold it" he ordered, coldly.

"Hey ... put that thing away, Mono ... I ain't gonna hurt ya..."

"Quiet, Decepticon."

"Decepticon? ... There's a misunderstanding here, Mono. I-"

"There is no misunderstanding. Come with me."

Monitor roughly grabbed Kamikaze's wrist. Kamikaze looked uneasily at Monitor's hand-blaster.

"Hey ... come on ... I'm unarmed ..."

"Which is why I have not fired. Try to escape and I will not hesitate to shoot."

Kamikaze knew he was stronger and could easily grab the hand-blaster and escape, but that was not his intention. He allowed Monitor to take him 'prisoner.' Kamikaze then saw Calliber Tron.

"Hey Captain Shit Head, ya mind helpin' me? I got a small problem here ..."

Calliber Tron laughed. "I'll bet, Ah so! I won't mind helpin' Mono though ... I bet Prime will be glad to see our spy ... I'll come with you Mono."

"Hey ... come on guys ..." smiled Kamikaze. "I'm on your side now ..."

Calliber Tron then saw Kamikaze's Autobot symbol.

"Hah! Asshole! Who'd ya rip that off?!"

"Prime cave it to me, Shit Head!"

"Sure!"

Kamikaze and Calliber Tron had always had a certain rapport with each other, even when they were on opposing sides!

Kamikaze smiled and let the two Autobots take him to his father.

"Optimus Prime" said Monitor. "We caught this Decepticon spy. He says he has become an Autobot. Obviously a lie."

Optimus Prime turned around.

"Release him, Calliber Tron, Monitor. He speaks the truth. He is on our side now."

Calliber Tron and Monitor stared at each other, in utter disbelief, then stared at Kamikaze and Optimus Prime.

"WHAT??!" Monitor dropped his hand-blaster. "Excuse me," he said, feeling clumsy, then picked it up.

"I tried to tell them, dad."

"Dad?!" Calliber Tron exclaimed. "All Right ... Who let the Candid Camera crew in here ... uhh... this is a joke right?" He looked at Optimus. "Right?..."

Optimus smiled and shook his head.

Cal shook his head. "I shouldn't've had that extra Energon cube ..."

Kamikaze smiled and turned to Monitor. "Mono, I'm really sorry about what I did to you, and Mindwave, okay?"

Monitor nodded. "Forgiven" he said.

Kamikaze smiled, then turned to Calliber Tron.

"I told you, Shit head!" he exclaimed, strangling him.

He then forced Calliber Tron onto the floor and jumped on top of him. Calliber Tron pushed Kamikaze off him and started to strangle him as well. Mindwave then walked into the main control room.

"Hey, Mindy ..." gasped Kamikaze, as he was being strangled by Calliber Tron, "your brother says hi and I'm also sorry about what I did to you ... Hey, Cal that's not fair ... I was talking to Mindy ..."

Mindwave jerked backwards in surprise. Optimus Prime explained to him. Calliber Tron and Kamikaze continued to struggle together on the floor.

Optimus Prime looked at them. "This brings me to say one other thing."

"What?" Calliber Tron asked, about to play punch Kamikaze. The two then stood up. Optimus Prime smiled.

"Guess, this universe is kinda funny, isn't it," and he looked at Kamikaze and smiled.

The other smiled. "Great - just my luck to have a shit head for a friend"

"Asshole!"

"You two are like brothers," Optimus Prime said.

Kammy smiled. "Okay, so if we're brothers, supposed to bash each other up - it's our duty!" They cracked up laughing and continued to play fight, underneath both Autobots feeling a kinship and a bonding that could never be broken.

"I always wondered why I liked you, Cap'n Shit Head."

"Same here, Ah so! I kinda like the idea of you being my brother!"

"This could prove to be most interesting! Ahh ... stop that... hee ... hee! Stop it!"

"Gods! You're ticklish!"

"No I'm not! Ahh, stop heeee heee!! ... Stop it... I' not heeeee hooo ticklish!!" He tried to push Cal's hand away and both were hollering by this time!

Optimus smiled. "I can see you two boys are gonna get along just fine ..."

* * *

A few days later, Autobot headquarters was under attack. It was a new experience for Kamikaze, fighting on the Autobots' side. Needless to day, The Decepticons were quite shocked at first, but also angry and regarded Kamikaze as a traitor.

During the battle, Kamikaze saw Psycho-Phaser almost fall off a nearby cliff. He caught him just in time.

"Phew ... thanks ..."

"It's okay Psycho. Although we're on opposing sides, I told you I'd never forget what you did for me."

Psycho-Phaser smiled, and then resumed fighting. Kamikaze fought against the Decepticons. It was a unique experience, using his martial arts on them instead of Autobots. Megatron then blasted at Kamikaze.

"You shall suffer for this, your filthy traitor ... " he spat menacingly.

"I have already suffered, Megatron. More than you could ever imagine ..."

Megatron was puzzled. Kamikaze blasted him. Kamikaze drew his plasma energy cannon and relentlessly blasted him, mainly in his chest and stomach. Megatron lay on the ground, bleeding.

"Stop ..." he gasped. "Stop ... the pain ..."

"Pain? You call this pain? ... This is nothing compared to what I've been through. What you did ...""

"I've never done anything to you, Kamikaze ... why now?..."

"I don't expect you to remember, Megatron. It was a long time ago, but you deserve to die for it."

He blasted Megatron several more times and was about to blast him in he head to kill him.

Kami ... he thought, stopping himself, what happened isn't Megatron's fault. He just happened to be standing in front of the building ... Would he have cared - no, but you can't blame him for what happened - and it was your choice to join the Decepticons - start taking responsibility for your life. Kamikaze looked up. I am an Autobot now and I must respect the Autobot Code. Killing a helpless unarmed enemy is wrong.

Kamikaze left Megatron and watched Soundwave attend to him.

He then returned to Autobot headquarters when the battle was over.

"You handled that well, Kamikaze," said Optimus Prime.

"I wanted to kill him, Prime ... I really did ..."

"I know. I've felt the same way too sometimes, but everyone deserves a right to live ... even Megatron."

Kamikaze nodded and saw Ironhide.

"Hey, Ironhide ... Wait a minute ..."

Ironhide turned around. Kamikaze wanted to talk to him, but found words would no come so he threw his arms around the other.

"I'm sorry ..." he sobbed.

Ironhide smiled, feeling ever grateful. "Sorry? What for? I'm the one that should be sorry ..."

"I know you're sorry, Ironhide, but I'm sorry for blaming you all these years ... I realise now it wasn't your fault. I know you didn't mean to ... I made you feel terrible..."

"You had every right to, Kam. I-"

"No I didn't! You tried to save my life. You wouldn't've done it if you knew the consequences. It wasn't your fault. I forgive you, Ironhide."

Tears filled Ironhide's eyes. He had wanted to hear that for so long. The feeling was unbelievable. "Thank you," he said, the simple words meaning more than they sounded.

Kamikaze smiled. He and Ironhide slapped hands.

"I don't suppose you can chuck me in the air again like when I was little."

"Little being the operative word!" Ironhide smiled.

The three Autobots entered Autobot headquarters.

"More than anything, I just wish Carah could be repaired..." Kamikaze said sadly.

Optimus Prime put his arm gently around Kamikaze's back.

"So do I, Kammy, everyday ... And perhaps she will, someday... Her body is stored safe on Cybertron."

Kammy smiled, for the first time in his life, feeling happy, free, vindicated and full of hope.

*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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