Bad Guy Spotlight



Seawave  So Hades, how're you finding the bad guy gig?

Hades:  What can I say?  It's grey - a rotten peach.  Of course the 'good guys' get more dough, but hey, controlling Olympus it's in our nature, know what I mean?

Seawave:  Sure do. Don't blame you.  I was listening to the ending of the movie by the way. Nice speech.  Rotten deal you got there.

Hades:  Well it was fun doin' the film anyway, and hey what can I say I got my big break.  They even asked me to do a series.  Even in Wonder Boy got more fan mail.  Stuff him and his little NutMeg. And I did try to help the brat - and what thanks do I get?  Sweet fornicate all.  For full details read my book Hades, the Truth At Last. And you can get my number A Tale of Hades.  Nicely transcribed from ancient Greek.  Hercules ended up dumping Megara on Eolis.  Me I'd go for Xena if she wasn't such a bitch.  I mean it took me ages to get my hair right again after what she did with the damned whiskey.  Hoo boy!  And it's not like I didn't get any fan mail.  I got a letter from a girl called Tanya who thinks I'm cute sexy, got a sexy voice and the greatest.  Right you are sweet cheeks!  And Suz also thinks I'm great!  They just love it when I spontaneously combust, by my own accord! (Hey that's make a great action figure) Hear that, Herc? I got me some decent girls.  Ya owe me 50 drachma.  I can hear him poopin' himself.  Ye Gods he's a loser!

Seawave: Well I prefer you anyway! Okay back to questions.  What's your best pick up line?

Hades:  That's easy - "Names' Hades, Lord of the Dead.  Hi, howya doin'?" oh and Add "Nice dress" for the ladies. Works wonders!

Seawave:  I'll bet.  What would you consider  your most attractive feature?

Hades:  Ohh that's a toughie. I'm mega fussy about my hair.  Must be alight at all times.  Bald, hey it's juts not me. And my skin is a lovely shade of grey don't'cha think?  Well hey the whole package is great.  You're not so bad yourself, Seawave.

Seawave:  Thanks. Same to you, Hade.  What are your favourite foods?"

Hades: Worms, Spick Moussaka, that really creamy Greek style plain yogurt and of course feta cheese.

Seawave: Greek salad too no doubt.  What's your fave colour?

Hades:  All shades of grey and of course black and blue.

Seawave:  What's it like working with Pain and Panic?

Hades:  The usual pathetic minions, but hey, they grew on me like that cool grey fungus stuff.  They loved working on the film, except the part where I lost my cool and torched everything in sight... They're kinda cute especially when they grovel.  I love that. (Laughs).

Seawave:  So what's your next move?

Hades: Don't think I'm gonna stay under forever.  The planets'll align again and I'll have my shot and it that doesn’t work, well hey, I'll main my agent - someone's gotta pay.  Perhaps I'll help out some other bad dudes. I've had offers from Dr Klaw The Negaverse, The Decepticons, the list goes on, Like hey, I'm a busy guy.

Seawave:  I can see that. Are you by any chance interested in joining our mailing list?

Hades: Love to babe, but, can't but hey if I can fit it into my busy schedule I'll give you a call.

Seawave:  Be sure to drop in unawares.

Hades: Hey, wouldn't do it any other way.  Style - that's me Oo.  Gotta go.  I  promised Pain and Panic I wouldn't miss their birthday.  Hey, I'm a bastard, but at heart I'm a softie too. (Smiles, then disappears in a cloud of grey smoke)

Seawave: Wow!  What a guy!  What an interview!



Names Hades, Babe.  Lord of the Underworld



Pain & Panic



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