Disclaimers: Gene Rodenberry created Star Trek
I make no monetary profit from my fanfic.
Summary: Data plays a well known character on the holodeck.
Author’s note: This fic was thought long lost when the computer crashed, though, fortunately I found it on an old backup – Enjoy!
Rating ~ PG
Data and Geordi walked down the corridor.
"Plan anything, Data?"
"I plan to visit the holodeck and play out a legendary twentieth century figure. I have programmed a scenario."
"Ah, Holmesing again, I see."
"No. That is nineteenth century. Not this time. I thought I would give Sherlock Holmes a rest for a while and play a more 'modern' character."
"And who's that?" the dark-skinned Engineer asked, curiosity piqued.
Data turned to his best friend and looked him straight in the eye. "Bond. James Bond."
Data entered the holodeck, dressed in an immaculate tuxedo. He surveyed his surroundings: an evening outdoor gathering - a large one at that, on an extravagantly decorated patio. The holodeck doors shut and disappeared as Data stepped inside. He knew his mission - to secure the Ruby Crystal of Burma - a crystal the size of a soccer ball, a possession of the wealthy King, Nehru, and to protect his daughter, the beautiful Princess Shalita. Data had programmed the holodeck, using the likenesses of the characters in the James Bond vids he had seen and books he had read, and had been very careful to make the scenario a challenge to him, but not make the same mistake as with Moriarty.
As Data/Bond surveyed the gathering, almost immediately, he saw the Princess in an astronomically expensive light blue silk suit, obviously tailored just for her. She stood, nursing a champagne glass and standing alone by the railing, looking out into the enormous garden. Bond approached her, and could hear the soft sound of water flowing from the fountain in the garden.
"Is it not it past your bedtime?..." he said smoothly.
"Oh, James! You startled me. You shouldn't sneak up on a girl like that."
"Sue me. It's my speciality." James Bond smiled. "Happy Birthday, Your Highness."
Shalita looked miles away. "Not much of a party, is it?"
Bond shrugged. "Enough people."
"But no life. It's my party and I want some fun - and all the people Daddy invited are boring, except you of course." and she smiled.
"I'm honoured, Your Highness," Bond said with a suave smile.
"My name isn't cursed you know. Call me Shalita."
Bond put on a mock hurt look. "I'd like to be considered more than a friend," and he kissed her hand.
"I must bid thee farewell, for now," and Bond disappeared into the crowd, unaware that two men, sitting at one of the outside tables watched his every move like a hawk.
Bond approached the indoor cocktail bar and leant slightly on the thick, pure granite surface.
"Vodka martini with two olives. Shaken. Not stirred."
As the bartender went to prepare his drink, Bond looked out of the glass doors. The Princess was gone. He scanned the surrounding area, but there was no sign of her, but it didn't worry him. Perhaps she went further into the garden, or perhaps inside. Knowing the nature of James Bond, he doubted that he's never see her again.
"Your drink, sir."
"Thank you." Bond began to sip casually.
He swallowed one of the olives
Meanwhile in a room, in King Nehru's many roomed, extremely spacious palace, two men gathered. The very ones who had spied on Bond.
"Do we kill him now?" Josef said.
"What? With five hundred witnesses. Sure - go right ahead. Idiot! The boss said we'd get him when the time's right. And right now, we got work to do."
Gareth picked up an item, wrapped in a towel, about the size of a soccer ball. "This baby is gonna make us rich, famous and powerful..."
And both the men grinned.
"Say, Josef, this party looks boring. Those poor people look like they could do with some action - and we need a diversion. Hey, we can kill five hundred and one birds with one stone!"
Josef grinned. "Yeah!"
Gareth took a small, black device out of his pocket, flicked a switch and threw it out of the open window.
Meanwhile on the bridge of the Enterprise E ...
"Captain," Worf informed. "Sensors detect an object heading toward us."
"Of what origin?"
"I am not certain, but it is definitely not a ship of any kind and it is moving at an alarming rate."
"Why did we not detect it sooner?"
"Its composition is unknown to the sensors, but its mass is, now that it is close."
"Can you get a fix on it?"
"Negative - moving too fast ... Captain it's on a collision course - and it's ...!"
"Maximum shields!" barked Riker. "Red Alert! All hands, brace for impact!"
Before any of them had time to react - SLAM!
Before anyone at the party knew what hit them - KABOOM!
Still by the bar, Bond grabbed for support, as the glass doors shattered inward. Bond's martini flying from his hand, his glass shattering on the slate floor, the glass fragments and olive sliding across the tiles. After a few moments, Bond stood, unharmed. He shook small glass fragments out of his hair, and clothes and ran to the opening. There, he surveyed the devastation. Bodies lay everywhere. Men, women and children. The few survivors, distraught, crying and screaming to discover the bodies of their friends and loved ones. James Bond was relieved not to see the Princess's body among them, but the survivors were his first priority now. He gathered them together. Frightened and lost, they obeyed him, hoping to be safe and having no idea who had done this to them - or why. James Bond was determined to find out.
Bond spun and saw a distraught looking Shalita, running down the stairs, her silk suit torn. "Thank Buddha you're all right," she breathed.
"Same goes for you."
"Who would do such a horrid thing?! I was in my bedroom when it happened. It felt like an earthquake. Ohh, it's terrible."
Bond comforted her. "I will find who did this. I promise."
"I know you will, James."
"Get Data up here!" Picard barked.
Riker bashed his communicator. "Riker to Data!"
"Riker to Data!"
"Computer," Picard barked, "locate Commander Data!"
"Unable to comply."
"If it's any use, he was on his way to Holodeck Four when I last saw him," Geordi offered, "but since the computer and communicators are down, we can't communicate with him. We're also trapped in here. Until we can get the computer working again."
"At least life support's still working," Riker dead panned.
"Don't speak too soon," Picard grimaced.
Meanwhile, as Bond had suspected, the villains had made off with the Ruby Crystal in the midst of the commotion. He inspected the room in which it was kept. No fingerprints - no nothing. He was puzzled at why the alarm hadn't been triggered. Then he saw a small black device, with a flashing red light. Bond ran for the window, leapt out, just as the room exploded in a fireball, sending glass fragments flying, as if it were a waterfall. Bond was cushioned by a beach umbrella below, one of the only ones left standing by the previous explosion. He leapt off it and ran to where he had parked his Aston Martin Bond Mobile. He hurled himself over the ramp, then straightened his tuxedo, and looked ahead. His eyes widened in shock. The holodeck doors were open and people were running into the corridor of the Enterprise and not disappearing.
"Computer, end program!" Data snapped.
But the holodeck scenario did not end - nor did the commotion. Data started to run to the exit, and whirled around just as the Bond Mobile exploded. Data was thrown clear of the explosion, made it to the entrance and desperately tried to shut the program down, but nothing worked. The Bond program people were still exiting into the corridor, frightened and confused.
The panel Data was working on was blown apart by gunfire. Data jerked and looked up ahead to see a man wielding a gun, at the turn of the corridor about 20 meters distant. Before Data could react, he was shot in the shoulder and reeled backwards. To his shock, this blast hurt and he began bleeding yellow fluid. Before Gareth could get another shot, Data hurled himself back into the holodeck and crouched in the canopy. He managed to pluck the bullet out of his shoulder, his shirt stained with his yellow blood.
Data's eyes widened - he recognised the voice as the Princess. The real James Bond would no doubt risk his very life to save her, but this was a glorified computer game. Rescue the beautiful maiden, get back the Ruby Crystal, give it back to the King and everything's hunky dory - all make believe, but no, Data thought. This had gone beyond a game.
Did these characters have sentience now that they existed outside the holodeck? Like Moriarty and Regina? Was Princess Shalita a real person now? All logic was against it, but so many events and occurrences Data had been a first-hand witness to and millions he had heard of, had defied logic to the extreme, Data wasn't about to discount it. But would this program end once it had run its course?
Meanwhile, Picard and the Bridge crew were madly trying to regain control of the Enterprise.
"All stop!" Picard barked.
"Ship not responding!" Helm replied.
Picard looked at the viewscreen and saw the white energy haze - cloud? which had enveloped the ship.
"Unknown, sir;" the reply from OPS.
Data had left the holodeck, in pursuit of the villains, the ruby, and more importantly the Princess, but above all, the safety of the Enterprise and her crew. Data stared in shock as he saw Gareth shoot dead a man and a woman in Starfleet uniform.
He grabbed his Walther PPK and shot at him, fleeing up the corridor. Data/Bond charged after him. Suddenly a door opened alongside the corridor. Data's arm was grabbed and he was pulled inside. He tried to fight, but then saw it was the secret service inventor, ironically named Q.
"Really, Bond, you're going to get yourself killed one of these days ...."
Bond breathed a sigh of relief. "This better be quick, Q. They've got her."
"And they would have got you too. You won't be needing a car I suppose ... Oh well, this will have to wait until your next crusade ..."
Q unravelled an immaculate reconditioned De Lorean, under a large silver sheet. As snazzy as it was, it wasn't exactly practical to be burning rubber along the corridors of the Enterprise!
"Pity about the Aston Martin," Q said. "She was one of the better models. Mini thermo nuclear device ... nasty ..."
"How did you know about that?"
"It's my job to know - and to keep both eyes on you."
Bond picked up a pen on the desk.
"Careful with that! It's a pen machine gun."
"Thanks for the warning." Bond put it down.
"Glad to see you haven't broken or lost your watch," Q said. "Now, take off your jacket and shirt."
The older man sighed. "Just do it, Bond. I haven't got all day."
James Bond reluctantly removed his upper clothing. Q handed him a saturated cloth. "This should seal that wound."
He dabbed in on Bond's bullet wound. "Quit squirming ... Honestly, you're like a child sometimes."
Bond winced, but noticed the wound starting to heal. Q handed him a new, immaculate white shirt. "Careful doing up the buttons. Gently does it."
Bond knew enough about Q to be wary of him and his weird and wonderful gadgets.
"Now pay attention, Double-Oh-Seven ... "the first and second gold plated buttons are tear gas grenades. Squeeze it like so-" he mock demonstrated, fling it in the direction of your choice and the gas will be released in four seconds precisely. The third is a two-way radio transmitter. Turn it like so." Q demonstrated again.
There was a bright flash of light and everyone in the room froze, except bond, and Data found himself staring at the omnipotent Q.
"Well thank you."
"Is this your doing?" Data demanded, anger in his voice.
Q scalded him. "Tsk, task, tsk. You know, you should never have had that chip installed ... oh well ... if you must know, this isn't my doing - but it's been fun watching!" and Q smiled.
"Q, people are getting killed."
"This is your adventure, my dear Bond. I have nothing to do with it. I'm merely an innocent onlooker." Q disappeared in a flash.
"Curse you, Q!" Data hisses.
"I beg your pardon, Double-Oh-Seven!"
Data jerked as he realised the people in the room had become mobile again.
"Oh, not you, Q. I'm sorry, I didn't mean -"
"What are we going to do with you, Double-Oh-Seven?" Q sighed, and then he smiled. "Good luck."
"Thanks. I will need it."
Data stopped for a moment to think for a moment. Unlike Sherlock Holmes, who deduced by logic, Bond was more the gung-ho type and so Bond-like he would have to be. The newly tuxedo clad James Bond exited into the corridor. As he was walking, he passed a frightened looking woman, obviously part of the scenario.
"Where are we?" he asked her.
"I don't know ... All I remember is the explosion ... running away ... and then here ... wherever 'here' is..."
If these people had gained sentience, Data thought to himself, it was a different kind to Moriarty, who knew he was on the Enterprise.
Meanwhile, on the Bridge.
"I've stabilized her for now," Geordi reported, from his engineering liaison console on the bridge, "but we've got to contact Data. We need to shut down the warp and impulse drives, otherwise in a matter of hours - or less, the ship will implode. I can't shut them off from here. We'd have more of a chance bypassing whatever it is preventing communications and getting through to Data. He possibly would be able to get to Engineering."
Data had realized the Bridge was inaccessible and worked on communications to work out what the hell was going on, but also fulfilling his mission. Even though Princess Shalita may be nothing more than a glorified, sexy computer image, he reasoned that saving her and retrieving the Ruby Crystal may be in his best interests - but where would they have taken her? And then it dawned on him. Engineering. It was the only place on the ship where he could discover what had happened to the ship - and somehow, they knew that too. He tried to communicate with the Bridge with the wall access panel again, but to no avail. Data raced to the nearest turbolift, but nothing happened.
"What a great time to have the lifts out of service."
He located the correct side panel which lead to the Jefferies tube to Engineering, took away the panel and got crawling.
He'd been crawling along the tube for a while, when he heard a distinct beeping noise, and saw a small black box, showing the final seconds of a countdown. Data/Bond hurled himself out of the way, into an adjacent tube, barely being shielded by the explosion. The previous tube was totalled - and so would he have been if his instincts and reflexes had not taken over. The crims must have planted it there. Smart. Enough explosive to kill him, but not enough to cause any serious damage to the Enterprise. The good news was he was on the right track. This tube too led to Engineering. He prepared himself for any more surprises. They had come this way and knew he was coming. He had to get to them quickly. If the Bond baddies got control of the ship, Data shuddered to think what would happen.
Avoiding any more booby traps, Data/Bond carried on down the Jefferies tube, one trap almost slicing him in half and having emotions of late, if had quite a different, not to mention unpleasant effect on him. He wondered how he would have felt if he had been a flesh and blood human, but then James Bond was and he was supposed to be used to this sort of thing.
On the Bridge ...
"I've no idea where he is, sir, but I'm getting through to him somehow,” the chief engineer reported.
"Quickly, Geordi. We haven't got much time."
La Forge eyed his engineering console. "Data, can you hear me?"
"Data, can you hear me?"
Data's head jerked up so fast, he banged it on the top of the Jefferies tube. Confused at first, because he did not have his communicator, communications were down, and then he realized. Q's communication device! Bless that man! (Not the omnipotent one...) Data grabbed the third button on his shirt.
"I am having some problems."
"No kidding. So are we. The Enterprise is caught in some kind of strange energy stranglehold and we can't break free. We're trapped in here. You've got to get to Engineering and shut down the warp and impulse drives, otherwise-"
"I am already on my way there. The energy also seems to have a strange effect on the holodeck scenario I was playing out. The characters are able to operate outside the holodeck... "
Surprise showed on all the faces on the Bridge.
"I cannot explain it either," Data said, "but even if you are able to regain control of the Bridge, I suggest you keep it sealed. Some of these characters are not exactly sociable."
Geordi smiled. "I can imagine. Will do."
Data continued on his way to Engineering, which seemed a little too easy. The latter half of the journey was uneventful. Perhaps the baddies were getting cocky, or were expecting him. Data exited the Jefferies tube, drew his PPK, and found himself wishing the Lore was with him. Now that his brother had been repaired and rehabilitated and the two brothers had reconciled their differences, Data reasoned they'd make a great team, But James Bond? ... Data felt that Indiana Jones would be more his brother's style!
Data/Bond's eyes darted around Engineering, which appeared to be deserted, then a tiny disc rolled toward him. Data didn't think. He threw himself out of the way as the thing exploded. Again, not enough to damage the ship, but enough to blow him to bits beyond repair. They knew he was here.
"Give it up," he said. "You know you can't win."
"What makes you say that?"
Data saw a motionless Vulcan Starfleet Engineer lying on the floor, his uniform stained with green blood and numerous bullet holes. He knelt down and felt the pulse.
Data looked around and saw more dead bodies. Some from the program, and some Starfleet officers. Anger and hurt showed in his face.
"Well, Bond ... we're waiting and we haven't got all day."
"Stop the killing. It's me you want."
Bond headed in the direction of the voice, thinking the man would have the Princess at gunpoint. Data came around the corner and his eyes widened at what he saw: Josef pointing a gun to Deanna Troi's head. Deanna could not defend herself, as she was bound at the wrists and ankles with metal clasps.
"Drop it or she dies. Slide it over."
Data slid his PPK over at Gareth who picked it up. Data was scared for Deanna, and felt guilty about all the senseless deaths, and Deanna could sense that.
"Data, it's not your fault..."
Josef slapped her across the face. "Shut up!"
Data lunged forward, but was stopped by Gareth, who pointed the PPK at his head.
"Where's the Princess?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.
"Right here, James," came the reply.
Princess Shalita stepped out from the shadows, wearing a seductive, flowing, but skimpy shimmering blue and gold mesh dress, and high heels, making her look much taller - and a gun trained on Data's head.
Data/Bond hid his initial surprise. "Some men have all the luck."
"A pity about the silk suit ... It was one of my favourites. Cost a fortune ... Oh well - we all have to make sacrifices. I really ought to thank you, James. You made it possible for me to steal the Ruby Crystal and to become the future ruler of all."
"You planned it all along." The betrayal hurt Data somewhat, even although Shalita might be nothing more than a program - a wasteful, bitchy one at that!
Shalita smiled. "With my helpers, Josef and Gareth. They are now my Royal Consorts. And the power is mine in this future world. Bring the ruby!"
"All this is about money?" Bond said.
"Money! Hah! Do not be so naive! I do not wish to sell the crystal. Of course, I could make a bloody fortune, but quite the contrary, my dear Bond. I know its secret."
Gareth did as he was ordered. The crystal glowed and Data realised the legend was true. The Ruby Crystals of Burma - an energy source that was almost alive. It was thought that the crystals either did not exist or had been destroyed - all but this one and now Shalita sought to channel its power to make herself invincible. "The Crystal is my key to the future - my weapon and it is what I deserve!"
She and the crystal may be just holodeck illusions, but the danger was most certainly real and Data had to stop it.
"And as for you, James Bond," said the sadistically beautiful Princess, "can't hope to stop me, but I am not totally without mercy. I like you. You amuse me. I will let the one you call Deanna live and you my dear James shall be my Court Jester and Concubine."
"My you're a pushy woman," Bond said, hiding his disgust. "But what about King Nehru?"
"Hah! He is nothing! He's a fool! He has no power! The power is mine!" and she laughed.
"I would be honoured to become your concubine, Your Royal Majesty."
"Data…" Deanna inquired then sensed.
Data turned to her. "Bond. James Bond."
"Data?" Shalita inquired; her expression puzzled.
"A nick name," Data lied, "got it when I hacked into the CIA computer."
Bond looked at Shalita. "I wish to present you with a gift, Your Highness."
Shalita smiled. "I knew you would come around. Proceed."
Data approached a compartment, entered his security code, and took out a phaser. Banking on the assumption that they had never seen one before, he withdrew it and his gamble paid off.
"What is that?" Shalita inquired.
"A wonderful prize, Your Majesty," Data lied, feeling grateful Deanna was on his side. "It is very powerful."
"Bring it here," Shalita ordered.
Bond nodded, and then frowned and started to scratch an 'itch' on his chest. He removed the first button, squeezed it and waited two and a half seconds.
Why do you hesitate?!" Shalita barked.
Bond slid the tear gas grenade along the ground and stunned Gareth and Josef, being careful not to hit Deanna. Shalita darted in the confusion. Data retrieved Deanna and snapped the bonds on her hands and feet.
"Go!" he urged. "I must shut down the warp and impulse drives." Data rushed to the console, the tear gas having no effect on him, and he began the sequence.
"Data-" came Geordi's urgent voice, "we're breaking up!"
"Initiating shutdown procedure."
"No, you don't!" Shalita screamed.
"Who's that?" came Geordi's voice, now confused.
"Explain later!" Shalita lunged for him; her eyes teary from the gas. She attacked him; her strength almost equal to his. Data battled with her in a life and death struggle.
"HOW DARE YOU!!! YOU WILL OBEY ME!!" she screamed.
"We will all die," Data said back.
"Better dead than powerless! If I can't have the power, then nobody can!!"
Data saw there was no way to reason with this power mad, insane woman and although it was against Bond's principles to hit a woman, this called for an exception! He punched Shalita in the face, knocking her out cold.
He lunged back to the console and completed the emergency shutdown procedure.
"Phew ... you got it .... Just in time, Data. The energy's moving off.”
Data breathed a sigh of relief.
"Are you all right? It sounded pretty rough down there."
"Both Counsellor Troi and I are fine, Geordi and you and the Bridge crew?"
"We're all A-okay up here."
The danger averted, Data looked around and saw the tear gas beginning to dissipate.
Data was relieved to see a dishevelled looking, hair everywhere, but otherwise unharmed Deanna approaching him.
"Look," she said in surprise.
Data turned around and saw the unconscious forms of Josef, Gareth and Shalita and the Ruby Crystal disappear into nothingness, but the scenario was not yet over and Data had discovered he hated to leave things unfinished. He returned to the Holodeck, the Bond program still running. Any holodeck program person who had left the holodeck and ceased to exist, those who had remained in the holodeck were still intact. Bond met with King Nehru, in the palace.
"I am pained by my daughter's loss, but more so by her treachery. Her mother will turn in her grave and I do not understand how my own flesh and blood could-"
"Absolute power corrupts absolutely," Bond said.
Nehru nodded. "I free myself of Shalita, evil Betrayeress. May she pave the way to hell."
Bond saw it pained the King to say that about his only child. Someone he had always loved, trusted, protected and cared for had stabbed him in the back.
"I feel your loss, Your Highness," Data said.
"I shall survive," the older man said, retreating into his palace with his robes flowing behind him. “I shall have to appoint an heir before death takes me.”
“Let us hope that is not for decades to come, Your Highness,” Bond said.
James Bond returned to the Secret Service Headquarters. In the tradition of James Bond, - at the end he always pulled through and got the girl.
"Moneypenny," he said.
"Yes, James?" She looked up; her eyes bright.
Data/Bond pulled a red rose from behind his back and gave it to her. She took it with a dumbfounded look on her face.
She tossed a bunch of withering flowers in the bin and inserted it into the vase.
"It's lovely, James, thank you."
Bond held out his hand and she took it. He gently kissed her hand, then drew her closer to him and kissed her on her lips. Moneypenny savoured the moment.
Q peered out of a room. "Double-Oh-Seven ..." he said, shaking his head, but with a smile. " What would we do without you? ... M wants to see you."
"Tell him it's done."
Without another word, Bond left with Moneypenny.
Q shook his head again. "Whatever shall we do with him? ..." then he chuckled and went to confront M.
Bond kissed Moneypenny again. Data wondered why the real James Bond never realized this special woman was right in front of him.
Data later met with the Bridge officers.
"Our sensors had never encountered that type of energy life form before," Riker said. "It was attracted to the energy from our warp and impulse drives."
"Hmm..." Picard said, thinking, pressing his hands together in a pyramid. "We'll send all the information we gathered to Starfleet Command. Hopefully they can perform a more detailed analysis, create a defence and hopefully learn to communicate with it."
"You handled it well, Data," Riker told him.
"Thank you, sir, but real people died because of my Holodeck escapade."
"Don't blame yourself, Data," Beverly said. "You had no idea this would happen. It could have happened to any of us."
Data nodded, knowing the Doctor was right, but still wished there was a way to bring back those who had perished.
"Whatever it was,” Geordi said “made characters able to exist outside the holodeck, but only whilst the energy being surrounded the ship."
"Most curious," Worf frowned.
"I suggest we call it 'the Bond Phenomenon,'" Geordi said. "After all Data or should I say James Bond saved everyone."
"Agreed," Picard said. "Dismissed."
The officers all stood to leave. Data was the last out.
"Data..." Picard said. “I guess It’s Soong, Data Soong.
The android turned and smiled..
"Nicely done, Data-Oh-Seven."
* * * *