Disclaimers: Transformers are owned by Hasbro.
I make no monetary profit from my fanfic/fanart.
Author's notes: After a wave of inspiration ….
Insights and observations made on Soundwave Vs. the ipod. Refuse to call it an essay. Sounds too much like school ;)
Rating – PG
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-- Soundwave Vs. the ipod --
I.
Like
all Transformers, Soundwave has Unlimited memory capacity. So how many songs & music vids could he
download for that? – Answer – every one that has ever been recorded! (Not that he’d bother – most of that crap is
more Blaster’s style) however a nice
new-age piece, whale song, wood flute or something soothing. And they don’t cost him anything to download
either. He’d literally be able to download millions of
terrabytes in seconds, if that - and with the vids, he can play them
on his chest-screen. So, can your ipod
do all that?
II.
Soundwave
can transform. Nuff said?
III.
And
can resize himself to be as small as a walkman for a human or as large as a
tape deck for a Transformer to hold. Can
your ipod do that?
IV.
What
ipod can speak with such a calm, lovely, melodical voice?
One of Soundwave’s first ever lines
I.
Can
your ipod kick ass?
II.
What
ipod is sentient and alive, cares for its friends and has feelings and desires?
IV.
Will
your ipod still be functioning after 9 million years [without a single service]
and
still going strong?
V.
Soundwave doesn’t look as though he’ll snap in half if someone accidentally sat
on him in transformed mode.
VI.
What
ipod has the retro flare of lookin' like a tape deck?
RETRO IS BACK & it ROCKS!
VII.
Soundwave has never needed an
upgrade or accessories. I mean if anyone
dared put one of those ridiculous ipod/cell phone socks
on him he’d stomp 'em.
VIII.
Soundwave came from another planet
-- and if that’s not enough, Cybertron's so advanced that he could do
everything an ipod can and more -- over 9 million years ago!
IX.
Soundwave
takes no shit and his comrades don’t say corny things like: “have you ever
heard of an ipod?” – they’re cool with his tape deck mode and also he’d blast
them if they did – and so would Megatron!
X.
He’s
loyal and dependable to his colleagues and friends -- Does your ipod even have friends?
XI.
What
ipod has its picture on a quilt and is still soft and cuddly after over 20
years? Does your ipod even
have
a quilt with its picture on it? I think
not.
XII.
How many ipod action figures are
there?
XIII.
Does your ipod know the Secrets of
the Universe?
XIV. Does an ipod have cool merchandise like a drawing set, cool rubber decoy figures, way cool stationery, toothpaste, walkie-talkies, costume, beach towel, a raincoat, awesome clothing, trading cards … Need I go on?
XV. Does your ipod have awesome tribute pages?
XVII.
And
how about role-play? How many people
role-play an ipod? Matrix wept, how
boring…
XVIII.
Does
your ipod star in a world famous television series with over 500 episodes, all
told (including Japanese) spanning over
twenty years
--
and even in feature length movies?
XIX.
And I don’t recall seeing
it star in a major comic/graphic novel series either.
XX.
What
ipod has a loyal fan following? I mean
real
following. I mean who would worry about
their ipod in a battle? Yes, we love our
Soundie. And I bet you don’t have to
rewrite your ipod’s official profile and specs so that they’re actually right.
like we fans had to do with Soundwave.
XXI.
Who would get outraged to the point
their blood boils if ipods were reconstructed into something else?
Now THERE's a good use for one, LOL!!!
XXII.
And lastly, what ipod spoke with such a beautiful, melodic voice, so surreal and out if this world, so much
that he completely mesmerised a 13 year old girl, compelling her to keep
watching this already interesting show …Which turned out to be one of the best
things that ever happened to her, (despite the flak she copped from the carbon
based microbes who teased her all through high school about loving Transformers
--
she remained loyal, like Soundwave). Transformers also improved her self esteem
exponentially, bringing much joy and harmony into her life, (and continues to
do so), also improved her skills mental, physical and emotional, including
writing skills, sparking her desire to become a professional author. She grew
wiser, calmer and enhanced her life … and in later years, it opened up a
whole new world to her, where she was overjoyed to share her insights, fanfic/art
& funnies with the world of TransFandom. She was not alone.
Thank you, Soundwave.
And the word ‘ipod’ was not even Microsoft Word’s spellchecker’s dictionary. So there! Hey, I just clicked ‘Ignore All’ LOL!
So, as you can
see, Soundwave totally stomps the ipod.
Fucking ipods indeed.
There was also a very cool looking Mp3 player of Soundwave made by Japanese company TakaraTomy [Music Label ] -- (There are white, blue and black ones available) and "Rumble & Frenzy" earphones, though personally I thought these looked ridiculous. You can check eBay for all of these.
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Thanks to Raksha's tireless devotion to Soundwave and also to the silly, but gorgeously hilarious Soundwave: The Touch YouTube video for the inspiration for this.
And why
didn’t they get Danny
Rouhier here to do the voice of Starscream in the new TF movies?
Man, he was FANTASTIC!!!
You can see the vid here. Wonder if Soundwave downloaded it? ... Or was it too painful for his unlimited memory ... ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TYzRanykbQ
So there you have it.
[ Hope I’m not the only TransFan who realises Soundwave was being totally sarcastic in that scene J ]
Disclaimer: I guess for carbon based microbes, Mp3 players are useful though the commercialism of the ipod gave me the shits when there were and are superior models on the market [check eBay]. You can also get Mp3 players shaped like retro cassette players or cassettes and you can also get cassette tape [coloured or B&W] covers/skins for Mp3 players & cell phones.
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