Disclaimer: The
Harry Potter Universe was created by J. K. Rowling.
No monetary profit is being made from this writing
Summary: Harry
is sure Snape is up to no good and learns something he never knew, he never
knew.
Author's note.
I wrote this after being inspired by a sad, but touching fic on
ff.net.
Drama
~~~~~~~~~~
REQUIEM
Professor Snape was late for Potions class. Harry knew if he had been, he may have gotten detention or at the very least the
Potions Master would have taken points from Gryffindor. He glared daggers into the Professor’s back,
then instantly snapped out of if when Snape whirled around, as though he could
sense Potter’s intent stare.
“Well why
aren't your books out?" Snape demanded.
Obediently, the students took out their Potions books.
“Turn to
page three hundred and eleven."
The class did so.
“Lethal
potions?" Hermione inquired, her voice raised a little with surprise.
“I don't
recall asking for a commentary, Miss Granger. Five points from
Gryffindor."
Her face burned and Harry felt his hatred of the
Professor deepen, if that was even possible.
Another girl's hand went up.
“Yes, what
is it?" Snape asked, impatiently.
“But aren't
lethal potions illegal, Sir?"
“Wonderful
observation, Miss Avalon," Snape said, sarcasm not lost. “However, it will do you all good to know the
properties of lethal potions and how to detect them."
Her hand went down. The disappointment on Draco’s face was quite
evident when Snape went on to say they would in no way be making any - ever.
“Can
anyone, besides Miss Granger, that is, tell me what is the most lethal potion?
Hermione looked annoyed and sorely disappointed.
No one's hand went up.
“How
disappointing," Snape drawled. He
thought that perhaps Draco may have known, but apparently not.
“It is the
asphodelic potion," Snape informed the class. “I'm sure by the name of it, the more astute
of you,“ he glanced with disdain in Potter’s direction, “have already deduced
that the poisonous root of asphodel is one of the main ingredients. When completed, the potion turns luminescent
green and gives off a subtle aroma similar to that of cinnamon. Death is relatively painless and occurs
within five to ten minutes of consumption of the potion." Snape paused. “Well, why aren't you all copying this
down? I despise repeating myself."
Frantic scratchings of quills on parchment
followed. Snape watched his class. Harry
looked up at him. Why was the Potions Master telling them this? He didn't buy Snape's reason for the class
learning the properties of lethal potions.
Not one jot. Snape went on to
talk about other lesser poisonous potions and each time he asked how they could
be detected, Hermione's hand went up, which Snape conveniently ignored.
After class, the trio met.
“At least
he could have let us make one poisonous
potion."
“Ron!"
Hermione scalded.
“Don't look
at me like that, I didn't mean a lethal one, like. Just one to make someone suffer a bout of
diarrhoea or something … and give it to Draco."
“Oh, you're
so childish." Although Hermione caught herself before she smiled.
Harry ignored the conversation. “Don't you think it's
odd," he said. “Snape's class
today."
“In what
way?" Hermione asked.
“He's never
told us about before. And I saw a tonne
of books on poisonous potions on his desk."
“Doesn't
surprise me," Hermione said. "He seems like the type who would be
into that sort of thing. And books, well
perhaps they were for the class to learn about and study them. Makes sense you know and a useful skill to be
able to detect them.”
Harry
nodded with a frown, “but there seemed something more.”
“I bet he's
made a few of those potions in his time” Ron said.
“No bet
here," Harry replied dryly.
Harry returned to the dungeons, on the false pretence
of leaving his Potions text behind.
“What are
you doing back here, Potter?" Snape demanded, emerging from the dungeon
store room.
“I left my
book here," Harry lied.
“Typical. Well get it and hurry off to your next class.
With any luck they'll take points for tardiness."
Harry glared at Snape and saw him clutching a satchel
of something. With his arms around it,
Harry couldn't see the writing on it, but he did make out the last three
letters -
“I'm sure Snape’s up to something," he
told Ron and Hermione at the next interval between classes.
“What makes
you so sure?" Hermione asked, her tone questioning.
Harry told them.
“Harry, the
last time we suspected Snape, he was innocent. The Philosopher's Stone,
remember?"
“I can
hardly forget - but this time I have a niggling feeling that won't go
away."
Granger sighed.
“Just don't get into trouble."
“Or
get us into it.” Ron said, mouth full of peppered ginger mashed potatoes.
Under his invisibility cloak, that night Harry saw
Snape talking to Filch in the restricted section of the library. Potter saw he was holding yet another book on
lethal potions which he handed to Filch who filed it away.
“Not planning
to brew any of those are we, Severus?"
Snape gave him a look.
“Now, Argus, that would be telling, wouldn't it?"
And with that the Potions Master left.
Harry took a closer look at the cover of the book as
Snape whisked past him. It looked very
old indeed.
The next day, Harry met with Ron and Hermione in
private.
“I think
he's going to try and poison someone."
“Are you
sure?" Hermione whispered.
“It all
adds up. Come to think of it, he was
practically boasting to us about it."
“When?"
Granger asked.
“When he
was talking about the asphodelic potion in class the other day. Those books … He had a sac of asphodel with
him the other day too - and he was talking to Filch in the restricted section
last night, returning old books on lethal potions…”
Ron looked wide eyed.
“Got dad’s
old cloak out again. He’s up to something,
I can feel it.”
“Harry,
you're certain?"
“Positive. I'm going to tell Dumbledore."
“Harry,
Dumbledore trusts Snape explicitly."
“I know,
and I'm going to have to try and bring him around."
“Harry, be
careful. If Snape is really trying to
poison someone, have you thought that that someone may be you?"
Harry swallowed.
“Yes
..." he said softly.
And with that he left.
“Nonsense!"
Dumbledore scoffed.
“But I saw
Snape-"
“Professor Snape, Harry."
“I saw Professor Snape with illegal potions
books, talking to Filch … and I am sure he had a sac of asphodel… Sir, I am
really positive he's going to try to poison someone."
“Harry,
Harry, Harry, I realise your dislike of Professor Snape, but I trust him
explicitly. I will hear no more on this
matter. Consider it a closed book. Potions or otherwise."
“But,
Sir!"
“No more,
Harry," Dumbledore said, his voice firm. “Now would you like to sample a new muggle
sweet I've discovered? They call it a Pocky
stick. I have procured a dozen strawberry and green
tea flavoured boxes. Delicious."
He held out two of the chocolate covered bread sticks
to Harry, one pink, one green.
“No thank
you, Sir."
Dumbledore looked disappointed as Harry left.
“How did it
go with Dumbledore?"
“Not good.
He wouldn't hear a word against Snape.
And he’s into his muggle lollies again."
Hermione smiled, then looked serious once more. “But you're still convinced, aren't
you?"
“More than
ever."
Harry almost bumped into Professor Snape on the way
back to his dormitory.
“Out for a
night on the town, eh Potter? Thirty
points from Gryffindor for being out after hours."
Harry glared at him.
“I know what you're up
to."
Snape smiled. “Do
you now? I very much doubt it."
Harry's eyes narrowed. “And you won't get away with it."
Snape's eyes darkened. “Oh, I think I will."
“We'll see
about that."
“Another
ten points for insubordination, now off with you, Potter."
“Yes, Sir." Harry put sarcastic emphasis on the last word
as he left.
In the Gryffindor dorm, Harry fished out the
Marauder's Map and waved his wand.
“I solemnly
swear that I am up to no good, or Snape isn’t anyway."
Obediently, the Map appeared on the parchment.
It showed Snape now in his room. Harry checked the Map every five minutes, but
Snape hadn't moved.
“I wish I
knew what he was doing in there…" Harry said to himself, "probably
mixing that potion."
About an hour later, Harry was intrigued to see the
Map showed Dumbledore enter Snape's room. Immediately he threw on his
invisibility cloak and went.
Slowly, Harry entered Snape's room, the Map showed
Dumbledore there still. The door gave an ever so soft creek.
“Is that
you, Harry?" Dumbledore called.
Potter saw no point in hiding it. “Yes, Sir … and I know I’m about after
hours..." He removed his invisibility cloak.
He now saw Dumbledore’s face, red and wet with tears.
“Sir … I
was right wasn't I?"
Dumbledore sighed.
“Yes … yes Harry, you were."
“Did you
stop him? Did he-"
“I'm afraid
I was too late."
Harry gulped. “He's
going to Azkaban for this, for sure!” he said with conviction.
Dumbledore sighed.
He made his way into Snape's bedroom.
“Harry,
wait-" Dumbledore called.
“No, Sir …
I knew he was up to something and nobody believed me.”
“I'm sorry,
Harry," Dumbledore confessed. “Though tonight … I just had an awful
feeling, but …" Sadly, the elder Wizard shook his head.
Dumbledore followed the young boy into Snape's
bedroom.
“He's asleep,"
Harry said, puzzled. He had not been immobilised, otherwise his body would be
rigid. “You haven't told him you
know, have you?"
“I think he
knows, Harry."
“But
Professor! He’ll be long gone by morning and-"
“He’s not
going anywhere, Harry. Least of all
Azkaban.”
“Professor!”
Harry said exasperated. “You can’t
possibly protect him this time.”
Dumbledore closed his eyes. “I wish I could have.”
“But,
Professor …” Harry stopped suddenly, wondering why Snape hadn't awoken with the
raised voices. The Potions Master had
always struck him as sleeping with one eye open.
“You’ve
immobilised him.”
Harry noticed a silver goblet on Snape's side table
beside his bed. A few drops of the
luminescent green potion remained. Harry
sniffed the goblet. Cinnamon. Potter shook his head in disbelief.
“No … No… No…"
Dumbledore sighed, sadly. “So you see you were right all along, Harry,
he did indeed intend to use the poison on someone.” He allowed Harry a few
moments before he spoke again. “Now I
suggest you return to your dorm.”
Numb, Harry made his way back to the Gryffindor
dormitory having no idea how he even made it there. He mumbled the password and the Fat Lady,
looking quite concerned, let him in.
Harry sat heavily in the oversized chair. More tears
came. He stayed sitting awake on the
common room. Ron and Hermione had long
fallen asleep. At last, he looked down
at the still operating Marauder’s Map, showing Dumbledore about to retire in
his quarters pacing in his office. Harry
blinked to see a spark and Snape’s full name flash for barely a second in the
Professor’s room … and then it was gone.
“Mischief Managed…” Harry whispered
to the dead of night.
* * *
“Harry, you
look like you've not slept in a week," Hermione remarked, early the
next morning.
Harry had no idea how or when he’d fallen asleep, he’d
been up for hours, sobbing into his pillow.
“You
were up all night spying on Snape, weren't you?" Ron asked.
Hermione gave a disapproving look. “Did you find what you were after?"
“Yes, I
did," Harry said quietly.
“So was
Snape planning-"
“Yes, he
was."
Hermione and Ron, stared wide eyed.
“So you
were right all along," Ron said, drawing a breath. “Snape did plan to poison someone."
“Yes, he
did."
“Did you catch
him in time?"
“No. “
Ron and Hermione now looked horrified, eyes wise and
mouths open.
“I
was with Dumbledore,” Harry said.
“Were
you able to save -“
Harry’s mouth twisted in agony, bitter tears still
falling.”
“Who…
Where's Snape now?"
Harry looked at them, tears welling, his eyes burning. A long pause followed before he spoke, tears
now falling as he did.
“It was the
asphodelic potion," he said. “I
saw the remnants of it in his room. You
know, his lesson on lethal potions.”
“Who
did he… kill?” Hermione swallowed.
“He
practically told us he was going to off someone…” Ron’s face suddenly went
white, realising Harry’s was crying and he grabbed the other boy so hard, he
damn near punctured his friend’s skin.
“Ginny!
TELL ME IT WANS’T GINNY!!!!!
PLEASE, HARRY!!!”
“It wasn’t
Ginny…” Harry spoke softly.
“Luna…?”
Hermione asked, “you’re very fond of her… Though who would want to hurt herm
she’s strange, but so innocent…”
Harry shook his head and spoke slowly. “That day … in
potions class … I think that was his way of saying goodbye…"
Blood now drained from Hermione’s fave and her hand
flew to her mouth. Ron stared, mouth
open.
“Harry…" Hermione sat heavily.
“Gods! I WAS
SO STUPID!!!” Potter screamed Why couldn’t I SEE!?!?!?” Harry hit himself hard in the
forehead.
Hermione took his hand gently, “How were you to know
exactly what he was up to after everything Snape's done…"
Potter bashed the table. “I wish I’d seen! I was too pig-headed. Too judgemental! Too dammed full of myself! Harry the chosen one… The
Boy Who Lived… Famous Harry Fucking Potter! … I could have saved him, DAMNIT!!” He threw a porcelain goblet
against the wall.
“Perhaps he
didn't want to be saved,” Hermione whispered.
Early the next morning, Professor Dumbledore called for
Harry in his office.
“He
left this," Dumbledore said, holding a scroll. “I was addressed to me, but for some odd
reason I think he'd want you to read it too."
His hands numbing, Harry slowly unravelled the
parchment.
Dearest Albus
I realise this may come as
a shock to you, but in truth I've been thinking about it for quite some time
now. The last time I almost went through
with it, blasted Potter conveniently went and got himself detention the very
night I had planned to end my life and perhaps it was a blessing in disguise,
but silently, I cursed him for it. And
if he gets detention again, Filch can do it.
No. This time there will be no turning back. I have crossed the Rubicon of my life.
There's too much, Albus, too many mistakes and I cannot change the past. What's done is done. I feel I cannot go on a single moment longer.
There are too many hatreds, too much bitterness, resentment and pain. I can't deal with it alone.
Perhaps in death, the Gods
will help me. Perhaps, when they cut my
Life Line, the Fates will mend my shattered soul and reunite me with my Beloved. I did everything
for her. For the freedom of our
world.
I hope for redemption, though
perhaps that is too much to ask for.
I've already taken the potion, which means I have less than ten minutes
of life, so I'd better hurry and finish writing.
Most importantly, take
care of my students, please. Yes, even
Harry and his friends. Albus, tell him …
he has her eyes.
I doubt I will be missed,
but then I always expected to die alone.
Please do not grieve for
me, for in death I have found the peace that eluded me in life.
Ever your friend,
~ Severus Septimus Snape ~
The signature looked a little shaky, the last ‘e’
trailing off the page. Albus, tell him … he has her eyes. Harry read that line again, the writing a
little shaky. Harry understood the
poison had begun to take effect and that Snape had struggled to finish the
letter.
“The quill was
still in his hand, when I found him” Dumbledore said. “I am sorry Harry, that I odd not believe
you…”
Harry looked up, his own face too, becoming wet with
tears. He gave the letter back to Albus
and placed his hand over his mouth.
“I’m
so sorry …. If only I had known. I feel
so ashamed. Sir… I feel I could have done something.”
“Severus
thought so too, Harry, that’s why he led you to believe was out to harm
another.” Gently, Dumbledore took his
hand. “It shatters my heart, Harry, but
it’s what he wanted.”
One of Harry’s
tears fell onto the parchment, smudging the word ‘alone.’
“You're
not alone, Sir, he said softly,
He also realised Snape had referred to him by his
first name for the very first time ever in that letter.
“I'm sure
Severus will be grateful to hear you say that, Harry." Dumbledore said,
tears falling. He placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.
“If you’ll
excuse me, I'd like to be alone, for a few moments before I address the
school.”
“ Yes, Sir
…: Harry paused. “His love … was my
mother, wasn’t she?"
Dumbledore was silent for a moment, before he
answered. “Yes, Harry. She was.”
A tears begun to roll down Harry Potter’s cheek.
* * *
Dumbledore stood beside the podium. “A very grave and serious turn of events has
occurred,” he began. “I have called thus
assembly and cancelled classes for the next week, this is not a cause for
celebration, but heavy sadness. I shall
now reveal what has happened.” He paused, then continued. “Something happened late last night that will
send shockwaves through the entire wizarding world. Something that will have us in mourning for a
long time to come. Again, he paused. “Last night we lost a valued and trusted
friend.” Murmurs spread through the crowd as Dumbledore continued. “One who did not know how much he was loved
and appreciated. Most of you know nought
of what he sacrificed for us all, his deep pain and the freedom he brought to
out world in our fight against Lord Voldemort.”
The teachers’ eyes glued to Dumbledore, all were
silent.
“Last
night, at twelve past midnight … Severus Snape…" Another pause longer.
Albus swallowed a lump in his throat. He
failed to fight back tears as he struggled to finish, "…took his own life…"
Gasps of disbelief, then a shocked silence
followed. Dumbledore waited for it to
sink in. Minerva McGonagall's hand flew to her mouth. Several teachers and students had wondered
why Snape had not been present at the assembly.
Now they knew. Harry saw some of
the students had begun to cry and not all were Slytherins. Even Draco, Crabbe and Goyle looked shocked
and forlorn.
Draco shook his head and mouthed ‘no…’ Harry saw pain in his blue eyes as the
Slytherin struggled to keep back tears.
Sobbing, Madame Pomfrey and Professor Sprout held each
other for comfort. Harry saw Hagrid wipe
a tear from his cheek. Dumbledore
breathed deeply. Harry noticed his eyes
red and puffy; he’d cried all night.
“He
left a heartfelt letter, explaining his actions, and I sincerely hope he found
the inner peace he was searching for. For
his memory, twelve minutes silence, please."
Not a soul stirred, in respect for the departed
Potions Master.
* * *
Nine hundred and thirteen people attended the funeral
of Severus Snape including several members of the Ministry of Magic. Harry saw
Lucius Malfoy and his beloved Narcissa.
Mrs Malfoy wiped away her tears. He
saw they were genuine. Even Draco and his friends were oddly subdued and Harry noticed
Lucius’ usually immaculate long platinum hair, out of sorts.
“He
was a dear friend,” Potter,” Lucius said, curling his lip. “Yes even I care. Believe that if you will.” The elder Malfoy
expected a rebuke that never came.
Harry simply nodded sadly. Lucius’ expression softened and his icy eyes
seemed to look a little kinder and he even placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder.
“Sometimes,”
Lucius swallowed, “it takes Death to discover how much one is missed and loved.”
That statement, Harry had heard before, but never
understood until now and coming from Lucius Malfoy was something indeed. Lucius
dropped his hand and slowly turned away, and Harry knew he’d seen a rare thing
that he would never again see in his lifetime. Lucius Malfoy’s tears.
Harry returned to his friends.
“I wonder
if he would be surprised," Ron said. “That so many people came."
“I think he
would have been," Hermione said, tears brimming.
“I’m not …”
Harry said, shaking his head, “I think more people cared for him than he ever
knew." Sadly, Harry looked down at the stone paving.
Gently, he held Hermione as her tears fell. Ron sat and stared at Snape’s intricately
engraved grey stone sarcophagus, oddly silent.
After Dumbledore's moving eulogy, moments of silence
followed, in honour of the deceased.
All Witches and Wizards raised their wands in silence and
illuminated them. Harry wondered if Snape saw this beautiful light, and knew he
deserved every flicker, every twinkle. When
the light began to dwindle, Minerva, steadied by Hagrid sat down on a stout
stone block and although usually resolute and strong, now she made no attempt
to hide her tears. Albus came to her sat
beside her and held her gently in his arms, his green and purple satin robes
enveloping her.
“I know
it's silly," Amaya said, to Harry, a first year Ravenclaw. “I know he was mean and all, but I always had
the feeling there was a deeper meaning to him."
“It's not
silly," Harry said, comforting her.
I just wished I'd realised what
that meaning was before it was too late, he thought, more tears falling.
After the crowds had dissipated Ron and Hermione
approached Harry.
“Chocolate
Frog?" Ron asked. “The Ministry’s giving
them out. They’re the new strawberry
chocolate flavour. They’re delish."
Chocolate was the farthest thing on his mind at the moment. Even the strawberry white flavoured ones he’d
been curious about, but took one to humour Ron, who he knew was only trying to
cheer him up and doing the best he could not to break down himself. As Harry opened the box, the light pink beast
leapt into Ron's mouth.
“Sorry,"
Ron said, voice muffled.
Harry didn't mind and half smiled. His hand moved to give Ron the ‘Famous Witch
or Wizard’ card for his collection. For
a moment he hesitated, looked down at the card, turned it over and stared, then
managed a smile through his tears. Warmly, the other smiled back. It was the first time Harry had ever seen him
smile. In the next moment, pale skinned,
long black haired Wizard was gone.
Harry kept that card for a long time to come.
*