Author's note: Snape's song ...
;) I was inspried by a fic of a similar name! I had a lot of fun doing this!
Rating G - Humour
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~
Sung to the tune of "I am
the Very Model of a Modern Major General" from "The Pirates of
Penzance." (Gilbert & Sullivan)
I
AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN POTIONS MASTER
SNAPE:
I am the very model of a modern
Potions Master
I've information vegetable,
magical and mineral,
I know the wizards of England
and I quote the fights historical
From Salazar to Voldemort in
order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too,
with matters mysterious
I understand the Dark Arts,
something quite serious
About the art of potions, I'm
teeming with a lot of news
With many facts of interest
about the art of mixing brews
STUDENTS:
With many facts of interest
about the art of mixing brews
With many facts of interest
about the art of mixing brews
With many facts of interest
about the art of mixing brews
SNAPE:
I'm very good at magic charms
and counter cursing evil spells
I know the magic names of
beings and where they choose to dwell
In short, in matters vegetable,
magical and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern
Potions Master
STUDENTS:
In short, in matters vegetable,
magical and mineral,
He is the very model of a
modern Potions Master
SNAPE:
I know our mythic history, King
Arthur's and Ancient Greek
I brew a magic elixir, to
bewitch, ensnare and seek
I quote of Merlin the wizard to
end time itself
My dark robes billow, silent, I
move with stealth
I can tell those interested
from all the other dunderheads
I know the types, seen it
before, wish they'd stay in their beds
Then I can teach in peace, the
little darlings in my lair
And not listen to excuses of
tardiness extraordinare
STUDENTS:
And not listen to excuses of
tardiness extraordinare
And not listen to excuses of
tardiness extraordinare
And not listen to excuses of
tardiness extraordinare
SNAPE:
Then I can write potion recipes
to bewitch and ensnare the mind
And hope in vain that my class
will respond in kind
In short, in matters vegetable,
magical, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern
Potions Master
STUDENTS:
In short, in matters vegetable,
magical, and mineral,
He is the very model of a
modern Potions Master
SNAPE:
In fact, I know the difference
between monkshood and wolfsbane
This Potter child is driving me
insane!
With such affairs with three
headed dogs and Quirrell, alas
And deary me, I had to save his
a**
I can tell what you get when
you mix wormwood with asphodel
A sleeping potion, straight
from the mouth of hell
Too, I can tell you where to
find a find a bezoar
Expect me to do your work, look
it up, you lazy tar!
In short, when I'm in the
dungeon, all my potions with me
You'll say a stricter Potions
Master you will never see
STUDENTS:
You'll say a stricter Potions
Master you will never see
You'll say a stricter Potions
Master you will never see
You'll say a stricter Potions
Master you will never see
SNAPE:
For my magical knowledge, I'm
quite the enigmatic quiet type
Though on any given day, I may
scowl, complain and gripe,
But still, in matters
vegetable, magical, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern
Potions Master
STUDENTS:
But still, in matters
vegetable, magical, and mineral,
He is the very model of a
modern Potions Master
*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe was created by J.
K. Rowling. Movies by Warner Bros.
Pirates
of Penzance, written by
Gilbert & Sullivan.
No knuts or galleons, crowns or
farthings are being made from this.
I had fun singing it out loud
too! ;D
~~~~~~